Many have wondered – especially me – just how much money do the ladies of Real Housewives get to act like such loons on national television. Oh, whoops – I meant: How much do they make to act like such classy examples of wealthy American women. Freudian slip!
Anyway, RadarOnline seems to have the answers I’ve been looking for. According to the sometimes right usually not site, Vicki Gunvalson – the OG of all Housewives everywhere – earns a whopping $450,000 per season to obsess about working and have various meltdowns.
I will say, like her or not, Vicki has more or less remained her same wacky self throughout the years and I don’t think she’s acting for the cameras… unlike some of the other grossly overpaid high earning reality stars! Like NeNe Leakes, for instance! The Real Housewives of Atlanta star is reportedly the highest paid of all the women in the franchises – commanding an insane $750,000 per season.
As you recall, Vicki was less than thrilled (#understatement) when Briana and her Marine beau opted to elope at a drive-thru in Vegas as opposed to having a traditional ceremony. While they were married in October of last year, they had a beautiful ceremony again on May 12 to celebrate their marriage…and the baby they are expecting. Guests learned that the couple would be awaiting a baby boy when the pair cut into their cake to reveal blue icing. Cute!
Last night on Real Housewives of Orange County was a case of hypocrite vs. hypocrite as everyone seemed to gang up on Alexis Bellino. Is there anything more ironic in the world than five women comprised entirely of silicon inserts, plastic, spray tan, polyester hair weaves, and injectibles accusing one another of being materialistic and phony? I mean, really… wow… did I just watch that? It was the most… odd argument I’ve ever seen on TV.
There was just SO much crazy going on. 3/4 of these ladies need to hightail it to the psychiatrist’s office for a nice long visit. I hear Dr. Amador is available since Bethenny Ever After is over – maybe he can relocate. Here are my observations:
1) Gretchen Rossiis a bad friend. Yeah, Alexis is a fake, full of it, and completely dumb but she’s not a mean person. For the past two seasons Gretchen has acted like Lex was her BFFL and now quick as instant oatmeal she’s ditched her and joined the mean girl squad. So, yeah, she’s a totally authentic person.
2) Vicki Gunvalson needs help. I honestly think Vicki is hopelessly socially inept and she covers that up by talking fast, saying crazy crap, and bragging. Kinda… like… Alexis, now that I think about it. Vicki seemed uncomfortable on the trip, angry with Tamra Barney, and really stressed about all her personal drama. Instead of being a normal adult and discussing it with her friends she started acting all goofball and hitting the sauce. Seriously – the singing though. Gretchen was right… “hell.”
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We got wind of some information on gossip sleuth Lisa Lovelace’s Facebook page that insinuates that Brooks may be a very different person than he claims to be. Allegedly, of course. A woman named Nicolette, who claims to be the mother of Brooks’ youngest son, took to posting about her ex-boyfriend and she had some not so nice things to say about his ways!
I’ll have to admit that I, unlike Slade Smiley, left the O.C. for a while. Oh, I still watched (like one of Pavlov’s dogs when the first few tings of the theme music begins), but I was indifferent to it. Lauri Waring was gone. A once biting but funny Tamra Barney became just down right mean, ladies whose names I can’t even remember (Quinn who?) and women whose faces didn’t move were shuffled in and out, and, well, Slade stayed. I was tired. But then something amazing happened in the form of this season.
Briana and mom Vicki Gunvalson spoke with Star/RadarOnline.com about Briana’s big day…which was a long time coming for Vicki. Viewers are watching weekly the relationship between Briana and Vicki get increasingly tense after Briana and supposed boyfriend Ryan Culberson drop the bomb that they got hitched in Vegas at a drive-thru wedding chapel.
Vicki tells the magazine, “My anger and my disappointment at what Briana did almost destroyed our relationship. We didn’t speak for two months. But time heals, and our relationship is stronger than ever.”
Briana agrees, “My mom has been amazing. It’s been really fun planning the wedding with her and just having her by my side.”
The ceremony took place on May 12 at the Bacara Resort and Spa in Santa Barbara. The bride wore a gown of Italian lace and carried a bouquet of roses as the pair read their vows at sunset. Missing from the guest list? Vicki’s castmates. She explains, “[I]t had to be about Briana and Ryan. It is not my party.”
Us Weekly‘s annual Hot Bodies issue is out on newsstands and just who found themselves the recipient of such title but three of our Housewives friends!
Gretchen, Melissa, and Alexis all got together to talk being hot and how they stay that way while posing as fifties housewives in cute retro swimsuits. All the ladies are in their thirties – and they look phenomenal – photoshop or no!
About her appearance Alexis Bellino, who has admitted to struggling with an eating disorder in the past and has had several surgical enhancements says: “I’m done picking myself apart. Life’s too short to spend another month recovering.” Did I hear this correctly – Jesus Barbie is over plastic surgery?! Well, I guess hell does freeze over.
Alexis also shares that she’s over obsessing about what she eats. “I won’t give up red wine, chocolate, or carbs.” Say whatever you want about ol’ Lex, but she looks fantastic for three kids and eating carbohydrates.
It’s that time again! The Summer By Bravo trailer. This time it’s Olympics themed and awesome. Frankly, I can’t think of anything I love more than the Olympics and Bravo… so yeah, aces on that one Andy Cohen! Competing to the beat of Madonna’s Superstar, the Bravolebrities are out in droves; each one hoping to win the gold medal in famewhoring!
Below is the Bravo-lympics starring Teresa Giudice (but no Melissa Gorga), Jeff Lewis & the gang, and Patti Sanger (I know.. I’m bummed too!). Plus, NeNe Leakes, Pinot Singer, Kyle Richards in a tipsy wine race!
Also making an appearance was Brad Goreski, amidst rumors that his show has been canceled! Surprisingly NOT present was Bethenny Frankel. Hmmm…wonder what that means!
ARE YOU PSYCHED!? WHO GETS THE GOLD MEDAL FOR BIGGEST FAMEWHORE?
Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County was all about the things we do for love. Some women finally change their name after a decade of marriage, some women overlook grifting opportunists because they bring her coffee, and some women… well they’ll just leave their man alone from 10-2 everyday so he can pretend to do stuff. Love is a powerful thing, but equally powerful is denial. I feel like Heather Dubrow needs to start teaching a class about how to have an adult relationship.
The other thing that happened was the sort of not so epic Tamra Barney vs. Alexis Bellino showdown. T’was sort of, I dunno, meh… and predictable.
Ok, so we begin with Brooks Ayers descending upon Vicki Gunvalson‘s office with of all things Starbucks. Blessed Starbucks. Hey, I’m a girl who loves her coffee and I wouldn’t throw a man out the door for bringing me lattes he bought on my credit card.
Shockingly Brooks was only bearing breakfast, not a folder full of Hallmark cards. Remember those wallets everyone’s dad used to have before smartphones and iPads – the ones with the flip out photo holder? I think Brooks has one full of affirmations and inspirational quote cards. Need a lift, I’ve got good tidings to go! I bet he just whips them out whenever Vicki starts asking too many questions.
Vicki tells Mr. Hallmark about the fight with Briana Culberson, including that Briana called him an opportunist. Brooks starts rambling on about how Briana has truth, her truth and I can see him straining to remember that Joel Osteen segment on being the best you you can be. Truthfully though, I think Brooks handled it well. Vicki doesn’t understand why Briana is upset, after all she’s always been the perfect mother! Yep – she said that.
Naturally, Vicki thinks Briana has daddy issues because of her father and Donn. I wonder if Briana has daddy issues or mommy issues? Vicki cries that she is tired of her life being under construction, she just wants her life to be finished product. Are these two perfect for each other or what? Love tanks, construction zones, what’s next? A garden analogy?