Who’s excited for the premiere of former Girls Next Door star Kendra Wilkinson‘s latest reality show, Kendra On Top? It’s surprisingly not based on Kendra’s sex tape that was leaked a few years ago, but is instead focused on Kendra building her “brand.” Another lesson in marketing 101 from a reality show. How original. The network describes the show like this:
The series will focus on Wilkinson as she “gets her groove back,”
and works diligently to balance family, work and her personal ambitions.
KENDRA ON TOP from Prometheus Entertainment began production last month and
brings viewers back into the fun-loving world of the former playmate and her
Kendra Wilkinson, author of the new memoir Being Kendra: Cribs, Cocktails, & Getting My Sexy Back and star of Kendra is speaking out about her devastating struggle with postpartum depression so severe it took over her life, nearly destroying her marriage.
In a new exclusive interview with In Touch Weekly, Kendra reveals her harrowing two-year secret breakdown. “I felt devastated, helpless – like I was in a black hole,” Kendra explains of her violent moodswings and a depression so intense it led her to lock herself in the closet to “scream and cry.” Her feelings of isolation and hopelessness reached such dark levels “I even thought of harming myself. I just threatened [suicide] a lot.”.
She admits that during her darkest days she had deep doubts about her marriage, believing: “Hank deserved better than me,” and disclosing, “Hank and I slept in separate bedrooms.”
Kendra believes her depression, which she has battled off and on since adolescence, was triggered following a move to Indiana for husband, Hank Baskett’s NFL career, while subsequently adjusting to a new baby and the filming of her reality show. Feeling compelled to act normal, she “put on a brave face for the cameras,” but was breaking inside behind closed doors, causing her to take things out on Hank, her extended family, and even crew members.
“There were times when I knew I was about to snap. I’d be like, ‘Hank, go! Go away!’ I didn’t feel right. Hank would take the baby, and leave the room,” Kendra recounts. Though she started most of their fights, causing them to argue so much “she feared their marriage was over,” Kendra couldn’t control her anger “at both Hank and herself.”
“I was just mean,” Kendra states, depicting the rages she would fly into; blaming her husband for “their unstable home life” and threatening to leave him, taking Baby Hank, if he didn’t find a steady job. Kendra remembers that her “nagging got so bad” Hank experienced a panic attack and blacked out!
At the root of her fury, was a deep emotional anguish causing her to isolate herself from her husband: “There was no way I could talk about what I was feeling because I didn’t know what it was. So we just had to stay apart.” Despite the turmoil in her relationship, it was her self-loathing that was the most troubling. “I was crying and screaming all night,” she recounts. “I wanted to hide from everyone. I felt like no one understood.” Regardless of her attempts to convey her “self-destructive thoughts”, Hank wasn’t getting it: “He’s not a therapist.”
Contributing to her negative self-thoughts, was the celeb culture where famous mommies brag about losing the baby weight mere weeks after giving birth. Kendra felt hopeless about the clinging pounds nine-months following the birth of her son, despite her attempts to diet and exercise, and she developed poor body image. Her lack of confidence led to further isolation and depression as she avoided her “hotter” friends. Kendra confides that she felt so ugly “she would brush her teeth in pitch-dark, ‘so I wouldn’t have to look at myself in the mirror.’”
Realizing she needed help, Kendra ultimately sought therapy; not wanting to repeat the damaging behavior of her teenage years, which included cutting, hospitalization for depression, and two self-harming attempts. She credits her two-year-old son as her reason to enter therapy, “Baby Hank really made me stop, step back and realize, ‘If I don’t stop acting like this, he’s going to pick up on it.’ “
Now months following those dark days, she looks back on those times, describing: “I can say that it was a real breakdown that I had.” She is thankful she chose a healthy solution to her depression, revealing: “I can’t be selfish anymore,” for the sake of her son and her husband, who she recognizes need her in their lives.
Today, Kendra happily acknowledges she is still working on her recovery “I’ve learned that I need therapy because I’m not 100 percent better,” but she insists: “I’m going to live my life happy.”
Being Kendra hits stores on September 20th. The fourth season of Kendra premiers September 25th on E! at 11/10c.
Thoughts on Kendra’s story and her battle with postpartum depression? Are you impressed that she is open with fans about this harrowing time in her life? Will you be reading her book?
According to the Hollywood Life blog, Kendra went through screaming matches with Hank to self-confidence issues to mood swings. In fact, she even got so jealous of her nanny at one point that she fired her, wanting to take on all of her mommy duties herself.
But Kendra didn’t hit rock bottom until she became so emotionally detached from her husband and their son Hank Jr. that she actually started to contemplate suicide. Kendra however reveals she was able to fight through those thoughts, adding that she would never actually do something to hurt herself or her family.
In addition to her new book, the fourth season of her E! showKendra is also slated to premiere Sep. 25.
TELL US – THOUGHTS ON KENDRA’S CONFESSIONS? WILL YOU BE BUYING HER BOOK?
A week after Playmate Crystal Harris trashed her 2-year relationship with Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, one of Hef’s exes is now coming to his defense.
Hef’s former girlfriend Kendra Wilkinson says Crystal, 25, is “trash” for talking about her sex life with Hef, 86, stating it only lasted “two seconds.” Kendra states, “She just needs to keep her mouth shut, and be classy about it.”
Kendra continues, “After the whole non-marriage thing broke to the news, I actually thought she was being classy about things, until she started opening her mouth about the bed stuff. She just totally made herself look like crap. She looks like trash. I mean, it’s disgusting. She needs to keep her mouth shut, and be a bigger person. Walk away. People don’t like that. People don’t like a hypocrite. She’s a hypocrite.”
Oddly enough, Kendra also found herself in hot water over some comments she made about Hef in her autobiography Sliding Into Home. She however feels Crystal’s comments went way too far.
“Her situation is a lot more harsh,” Kendra, 26, told PEOPLE. “She was about to get married to him. I would have never agreed to get married to him.”
Kendra, who stated in her book that she would sneak out of the Playboy mansion to go see her now husband Hank Baskett, makes it clear her situation was a lot different from Crystal’s. “We both knew our place,” Kendra says of her relationship with Hef. “He knew that we were friends. I knew that we were friends. But to [plan to] get married and then be a backstabber to someone like that – to take it to that level and then go and backstab, that’s, like, cruel, you know?”
Crystal has since issued an apology for her comments following publish backlash.
TELL US – THOUGHTS ON KENDRA’S COMMENTS? DO YOU AGREE?
In an interview with UsWeekly this week, Kendra, 25, shares some TMI details with us when she admits her sultry moves on the dance floor have left a lasting impression on her hubby Hank Baskett.
“Right after the [team] dance tonight we walked over to Hank and he said, ‘Honey! I didn’t know you could do the splits!’” Kendra’s pro partner, Louis van Amstel told UsWeekly.
Kendra adds that her new flexibility has come in handy in the bedroom. “It’s definitely great,” said Kendra of the impact DWTS has had on her and Hank’s sex life. “If you come to my trailer after this you may see it moving back and forth. I’m definitely bringing the splits into the bedroom!”
Allrighty. And following her elimination on Tuesday, Kendra revealed that her future plans are to try and have another baby. “We have so much love to give,” said Kendra, mother of 1-year-old son Hank Jr. “We’re just loving baby Hank so much. We’re raising him well, teaching him everything he needs to be taught. But yeah, I really feel like it’s naturally time for another one soon. I really do.”
The Playboy alum added, “We’re practicing for No. 2. Why not? Just one more would be great. And I wouldn’t mind having No. 2…soon!”
As for being voted off DWTS, Kendra admits she’s glad she doesn’t have to worry about the grueling dance rehearsals or watching her diet anymore. Kendra reveals her mother’s day plan is to have an elegant “barbecue” and “relax a little bit.”
Those pesky rumors of trouble in Kendra Wilkinson’smarital paradise simply refuse to go away.
The Dancing With The Starscontestant and Playboy Playmate graces the latest cover of In Touch magazine with hubby Hank Baskett under the heading “Torn Apart By Another Woman.”
Except when you read the article, it is actually Kendra who is reported to be cheating on her husband with another woman. That woman is Jessica Hall, also a Playboy Playmate.
In Touch reports Kendra is very unhappy in her marriage and on March 26, she flew off to Las Vegas with her girlfriend Jessica. The two were then spotted making out at the MGM Grand’s Wet Republic.
In between the girl on girl make-out sessions and endless shots, onlookers reveal the girls really seemed to be enjoying each other’s company. “After a bunch of drinks, Kendra and Jessica really started getting crazy,” a source tells In Touch. She “looked thrilled to be letting loose without her man in town.”
As for Hank, he is said to be unhappy about Kendra’s Vegas trip. “He hadn’t wanted it to be a girls’ trip,” a source explains adding that Hank and Kendra have been fighting non stop lately.
“They were arguing a lot right before DWTS started,” reveals another source. “Kendra wanted to spend more time with friends. But Hank thought she should be with him and Hank Jr.”
“They just keep dragging on the misery,” adds the insider. “Sometimes, it seems like it would be best to end it.” Yikes.