I dunno what you call that sort of cry where no liquid emanates? I mean is it all the botox? At the very least I would expect wine to come out 'cause all they consume is wine. Well, that and bulls#*!.
So much happened last night – where to begin…
Well, let's all get this out of the way: Alexis Bellino talked about JIM BLOB's man part. It was the most awkward 2 minutes of television ever! She tripped and stumbled over a forced non sequitur about how he wears a size 14 shoe if you know what she's saying… EW! So that's how things started and if you can believe it they went downhill from there!
After surviving (just barely) her first reunion, Lydia admits she isn't proud of her behavior and she isn't sure this environment of "constant attacks and debating" is for her! She also explains why her magazine chose not to feature Heather Dubrow on the cover, but she does offer Heather an apology for being snarky. Apparently the two are still friends… for now!
"So that wasn't fun! The ladies tried to warn me that my my first reunion would be intense, which is an understatement! I don't think you could ever be mentally prepared for a day like that," Lydia begins in her Bravo blog.
Alright let's dive into this whole Real Housewives of Orange County reunion thing! We've got Memory Lapse Monday happening here because Tamra Barney is confusing this season's storyline with one from two years ago. Did her shock therapy malfunction? Yeppers, Gretchen Rossi is back in the hotseat for cheating on her deceased fiancé Jeff with another man. Nevermind that NO ONE CARES CAUSE WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS FOR FOUR YEARS, we're rehashing it aaaagain.
So with that out of the way let's talk outfits. Gretchen is clearly bringing her little portable Barbie closet she had from childhood to the designer for Alexis Couture and asking for direct reproductions. All of her little girl dreams of sparkles, flounces, and seafoam fantasies are being brought to life. Seriously Gretchen is reliving my youth with that aquamarine number. I especially loved how she matched the side-weave to the one-sleeve.
Heather Dubrow's hair needs a deep conditioner and a good cut. Even though I'm sure Princess Champs On Ice probably pays $300 for a haircut, it looks like Gretchen played Barbies with Heather's head. Since Heather is the brown-hair Barbie friend Gretchen practiced "beauty school" with her locks. Result: fail.
What can we say about last night's season finale of Real Housewives of Orange County except those ladies need to re-evaluate their choices in men! Dang girls… Dr. V needs to get in there and do a summit on low self-esteem and co-dependent entanglements. I mean, that was a m.e.s.s. And not a fun one!
We're all back in the fabricated winter wonderland ofVicki Gunvalson's back yard. Despite the warm California breeze, glitterfied snow is everywhere. Suddenly the air turns icy… Gretchen Rossi has arrived. On her arm, an abominable faux man – Slave Smiley. While Gretchen pageant glides, in smiling engagingly at the Styrofoam penguin statues and paper mache snowmen, the other ladies are gorging themselves on a 'We hate Gretchen' buffet of snide comments and frosty complaints.
Poor Gretchen, the wool was pulled over her eyes because she had no idea the entertainment for the evening was pelting her with verbal snowballs and stealing her mittens.
And meanwhile, some other backstabbing was taking place at the party! See Vicki has a son-in-law FROM HELL and he was melting all the cute little decorations with his vendetta of mean. There he was shuffling around the party, drink in hand, complaining about Vicki, hinting at all the dirt he has on Brooks, and boasting that he basically controls Vicki's house by refusing to let Brooks in. Good lord! Shut. Up. Was Ryan auditioning for RHOC to replace Tamra Barney as next season's villain?
Last week we all saw Gretchen Rossi propose to longtime love Slade Smiley. It was a really authentic moment and all y'all complete with a song you can buy on iTunes. Well not everyone is happy for the couple.
Upon hearing Tamra's comments, Gretchen insists her love and her desire to get married is completely genuine and Tamra's comments are really hurtful.
"I'm on a reality show so it seems silly that I wouldn't consider filming that," Gretchentells ABC News. "I think it's ironic that it's coming from the cast member that just recently got married on TV and got her own spin-off," Gretchen adds. "It's very hurtful."
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here's a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
If ever there was a reason to say no to a proposal, it was an autotune-botched warbling of a wannabe Taylor Swift. And that proposal came courtesy of Gretchen Rossi. But of course Slade Smiley, who has been practicing the trickling of a single tear in the mirror for weeks, did not say no. Oh no … HE said yes! And it was all over-acted to puke-fection.
So yeah, let's start there shall we with the Real Housewives of Orange County proposal that just went on and on and on and on. Phase One: Slade at work at his radio station pretending he has a job like doing things on the radio. I was always convinced he just put up some microphones in Gretchen's overly cluttered garage, but apparently Radio Slade is a for realz thing.
Slade's partner announces a new song. A voice, a voice like mystic magic floating over clouds of heaven comes soaring over the airways. 'That sound…' gasps Slade staring off into the distance. I think someone has been watching The Sound Of Music… That voice, that he does not recognize because even WITH heavily deployed autotune it still sounds flat, plastic, and phony as hell (not unlike its owner), is Gretchen. And that song is asking him to marry him.
SeeHeather Dubrow is like all actress-y and important-y and stuff and she was gifted with a premiere role on the show. And then low and behold Gretchen Rossi was maybe possibly potentially called about a guest spot that was then canceled from a now canceled show. Ya follow?
Anyway Gretchen is all shades of bleached and miffed that Heather doesn't think she's special enough to be on HER show, so she sent her a snarky text telling her that. I mean, allegedly. And, of course, it depends on who you ask. So we've heard Gretchen's side of the story, now let's hear Heather's!
"I was pretty disappointed to see Gretchen read my text message to Slade with that rude "sing songy" voice," Heather writes. "It was interesting to me that she neglected to mention that I was answering HER question in that text," Heather begins.