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Heather Dubrow

On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County the ladies got to mudslinging, only this time it involved actual mud for a change! In other news, Tamra Barney is officially divorced and Vicki Gunvalson is officially the most insecure fifty-year-old I’ve ever encountered. Oh, and Alexis Bellino revealed her new nose, which we’ve already seen 10,000 times before, so that was no big whoo-hoo.

Things start out with the Queen of the OC and resident class act, Heather Dubrow taking her husband shopping. Apparently, this is What Not To Wear, the Dr. Dubrow edition. Sadly, Stacy London and Clinton Kelly did not appear with a bevy of secret footage and a red trash can. Hopefully they’re saving that for Vicki, but I digress.

Terry does need a make-over and hopefully David Austin, world’s greatest clothier in all the world will help him – for a cool $50k. “You’re gonna look mmmaaaavalous!;” Heather purs; prying Terry’s wallet from his shaking hands with a malicious glint in her eye. Terry will no longer embarrass his perfect wife at cocktail parties with his outmoded and pedestrian appearance. Oh no – there is a new Terry in town and this one has both black and white tie attire!

I must admit – it’s nice to see some old-school traditional HW action of spending ostentatious amounts of money and actually being able afford it. We hope… . If they declare bankruptcy next year, we’ll know they’ve been struck by the Teresa Giudice curse!

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Just in case you thought Slade Smiley couldn’t get any worse than being a hundred thousand dollars remiss on child support owed to his extremely ill son, Slade is now accusing his ex-girlfriend Michelle Arroyo of hiring the bill collector that attacked him on the red carpet last week. Just typing this sentence makes my blood boil!

Speaking to TMZ, Slade’s attorney directly accuses Michelle of being behind the incident! “It appears this whole thing was staged and created by Miss Arroyo who is obviously looking for attention.” That’s a bit rich coming from Slade, Mr. Reality Whore, himself!

“Slade is not a deadbeat dad and is making timely payments,” his attorney adds. “We will be looking into this further and if Miss Arroyo did hire these clowns to harass Slade we will exercise all our rights including a restraining order if necessary.” Oh, please!

Michelle has very seldom spoken out against Slade and has very rarely made any negative comments about his invisible style of parenting. Michelle even went to bat for Slade after said incident, confirming that the back support amount Slade owes for their son Grayson had been reduced to $95,000 and that Slade has been keeping up with the current payments of $775.00 per month.

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Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County was kinda boring, no? Alexis and Briana got surgery. Tamra discovered Simon is finally ready to let her be the free bitch she was meant to be – but she’s not sure she’s ready to live a life unfettered. Tamra and Vicki join Heather in LA where she is embarking upon a restaurant venture.

Things started out with Tamra paying a visit to her plastic surgeon, Dr. Ambae. Has anyone else noticed the Housewives always hug their doctors – who hugs their doctors? I’ve never hugged any of mine, but I guess if I were as reliant on my plastic surgeons as they are, it may be a different story. OR if my doctor was Paul, because I love him.

Anyway, Tamra wants to get her breasts reduced. Now that she is no longer beholden to Simon and his ideals about her body, she wants a smaller, less cumbersome rack. We get a close-up montage of Tamra’s old DDs and frankly, who wants to see a close up of wrinkled, spray-tanned cleavage? Dr. Ambae examines Tamra’s boobs and determines she has a lot of natural breast tissue so she can likely get the reduction done without adding smaller implants to fill things out. Tamra explains that those babies never stop growing! Third boobs, third marriage!

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The Tamra Barney / Gretchen Rossi fauxlationship was ever so brief. The two, who were professing their love for each other mere weeks ago, are now, well – kaput! Dang, I only got to use Tamretchen for, like, five minutes.

Yesterday it emerged that Gretchen likely pedaled a story to TMZ accusing Tamra of planning her engagement to Eddie Judge, because Bravo shelled out for a ring and a romantic vacay to capture the proposal as an addition to this season’s storyline. Tamra apparently believed Gretchen was the culprit of the leak as she as spent the last twenty-four hours blowing up Twitter saying as much.

In response to all the drama, Tamra took to Facebook to thank her fans for support during these accusations. “Thanks for all my fans that posted positive comments. After a day of negative energy its time to turn it around. So I am drinking a Corona Light and cooking tacos with my kids waiting for my Hot Latin fiance to get home.”

Tamra also thanked Bravo for denying the story alleging that they bribed Eddie to pop the question! “Again Thank you Bravo for your support! To have people that want to tear you down when you are so happy is hurtful,” she added.

On Twitter, Tamra has done nothing short of accusing Gretchen of being responsible. In one of her cryptic tweets, Tamra revealed that she knew who was responsible but wasn’t ready to reveal. “it is very hurtful and I know who did it,” she wrote “Trust me it will come out..time.” Here’s betting the Real Housewives of Orange County reunion will be giving this matter a lot of attention!

And, for those of you speculating Vicki Gunvalson had anything to do with the story, Tamra flat-out denied it. Personally, I definitely do not see Vicki doing something like that – particularly since she and Tamra are now business partners in their new venture, Wines by Wives. We all know work and money are Vicki’s life and she wouldn’t jeopardize that opportunity!

In response to the insinuations, Gretchen has spent a lot of time defending herself. Gretchen adamantly denies she had anything to do with the story about Tamra and maintains that the two are in a good place. “Today was a tough day, can’t say thank you enough for always showing such support and love towards me. Love u all so much! Xoxo,” she tweeted.

Gretchen will be appearing on CNN this evening where she promises to set the record straight about her relationship with Tamra and the TMZ story. What on earth CNN is doing interviewing Gretchen is a mystery to me – must be a really, realllllllly slow news day. Like, did news completely stop happening?

Tamra was due to appear with Gretchen, but in light of the situation canceled! “we were both to be on CNN today together about something else. I am way to upset to go! lets see if she does the right thing?,” Tamra commented. Wowzers!

Moving on, Heather Dubrow is speaking out about last week’s Bunko meltdown with Alexis Bellino. “It seemed like Alexis was itching for a fight the whole night. . . I feel like I have been attacked by Alexis since we met, and I’m not sure why,” Heather shares in her Bravo blog.

“But when she got Terry [Dubrow] involved, I couldn’t stand by and watch. He had no idea who was being discussed (how would he know that Gretchen calls her “Lex”). Pick on me all you want, but you DON’T mess with my man!”

And despite getting off on the wrong Louboutin clad foot, Heather says Alexis has apologized and things are good between them. “I would like to say that Alexis sent me a very sweet text message the next day. She said she overreacted and felt bad about what happened. I thought that was great, I appreciated it.”

Finally, tonight marks an all-new episode of Real Housewives of Orange County. And everyone is in surgery! Alexis recovers from her nose job, Briana gets the results of her biopsy, and Tamra consults her doctor about a breast reduction! See a preview for the new episode below!

Real Housewives of Orange County airs on Bravo tonight at 9/10c

WILL GRETCHEN AND TAMRA’S FRIENDSHIP RECOVER? DO YOU BELIEVE GRETCHEN HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE SLANDEROUS STORY ABOUT TAMRA’S ENGAGEMENT? CAN HEATHER AND ALEXIS MAKE AMENDS?

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Well, the eighties happened and then they came back to haunt us. Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County might as well have been titled ‘What The Eff?’ I have no idea what was going on, either in the show or in Vicki’s head. There were so many meltdowns I couldn’t keep track! There was whining, crying, and screaming everywhere I turned. The only person not acting insane was the person about to undergo surgery to remove potentially cancerous tumors! Why is Briana a zillion times more mature than a pack of women twice her age?

Things begin at Tamra‘s ’80s themed Bunco party. The guys arrive all in period themed costumes; Slave stole Billy Ray Cyrus’ mullet, Eddie looks silly, and Terry bought his wig at Dollar General. It was fun. Vicki immediately freaked out upon seeing Slade and went off the deep-end. Tamra tried to include Brooks, but he couldn’t come. Alexis was pissed because Jim wasn’t invited–because no one likes him–although, Tamra claims he didn’t want to participate.

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County the ladies went back in time to their golden years. Aaaahhh… the ’80s; before botox, satin cocktail dresses, orange tans, and TV friendships took over their dreary lives. To a time when they were young, free, and filled their heads with hairspray instead of restylane.

Things begin with Gretchen and Slave driving somewhere. Slave has found his calling of the week in comedy. He says, making jokes helps him escape his problems and he now wants to pursue this. Even Gretchen is like, ‘gimme a break!’ Gretchen asks him not to make future acts center around her co-tarts. There goes Slave’s interest in comedy, because what other material can the man come up with?!

Heather and Tamra meet for lunch. I love Heather’s dress. We find out Terry is from Van Nuys and his father lives in the OC, which explains how east coast Heather ended up in a nouveau, riche, trashy, beach-side, suburb of LA, nearby the likes of Gretchen and Alexis. Kidding, I have family in the OC and it’s beautiful there.

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Oh goodness, the Real Housewives of Orange County got old fast, didn’t it? Well here’s some good news (and some funny news) to revitalize our lagging OC spirits!

First up, some exciting news! Tamra Barney is engaged to Eddie Judge! “They’re keeping the news under wraps until they have to film the reunion show in a few weeks,” a source close to the couple tells Life & Style. “They are so happy and excited!” Tamra has always maintained Eddie is the love of her life but after viewers witnessed her telling him she didn’t want to live together, many thought their relationship was doomed. Luckily not. Congratulations to the happy couple and I cannot wait to see this wedding dress!

And now onto some other engagement news! After a report came out last week that remiss on child support payments, Slave Slimey,was spotted shopping for a 4.5-carat canary diamond, set in a bed of smaller white diamonds, which he knew would “steal Gretchen [Rossi]‘s heart”.  Some of our astute readers pointed out that the ring sounds awfully familiar. Familiar, as in, it fits the exact description of the engagement ring given to former fiancé Jo de la Rosa. Jo appeared on the first and second seasons of RHOC before dumping Slave’s scummy butt! He then moved on to her now former friend, Gretchen! A photo of Jo from her Housewives days is below!

In fact, on a site promoting Jo’s speaking engagements, her ring is described as a: “$100,000 canary diamond ring.” Oh, canary? Either Slade really likes canary diamonds or he’s recycling that rock! We smart viewers can do the math.

I guess that clears up just how Slave can afford the ring! He’s been storing it all this time until the next desperate right woman comes along! Since Gretch is just leasing Slave, it only makes sense that she lease her ring too! A photo of the alleged ring is below. As Phyllis Neffler infamously said of canary diamonds “listen to it sing…” In this case, listen to it sing a song of shame!

Moving on, Jim Bellino famously quit the show after his true colors (a smeary color of beigy brown, aka douche) shined through and fans reacted negatively to his king status versus Alexis Bellino‘s inferior servant one. Hey, whatever floats their leased and about to be repo’d boat! While Jim doesn’t regularly show his face on film, he’s been the talk of the town this season and has taken to telling his side of the story in an eloquently written personal blog. I feel so sorry for Alexis’ assistant, who you know transcribes this crap.

In the newest newsletter of truth, Jim insists Alexis is, like, really independent! Jim takes issue with the scene of Alexis grabbing a drink with Heather Dubrow, where she describes their marriage. “An example of seeing a particular scene and NOT the full event is when you hear Alexis say, “No, I still do it all, I make the kids lunch, give them baths, pick them up from school,” and so on. THIS IS NOT THE WHOLE TRUTH,” Jim asserts. Gosh, I love when Jim gets all ragey and emphatic with the CAPSLOCK!

“When Alexis works at Fox 5, she gets up at 5am to work. At that time I get the kids up, get them ready for school, feed them breakfast, and take them to school. During the other times I work two jobs, so sometimes I am not home to help. We’re both there to parent on the weekends, and Alexis will be the first to tell you I spend plenty of time with our children.”

Jim adds, “I guess my point is, a simple scene can give viewers the impression that Alexis does everything with the kids and Jim does nothing. That’s simply not true.” Jim goes onto chastise other cast members for intentionally “hurting” his feelings over allegations that he does nothing. “I have been very tempted to blast particular cast members. But I promise you, if you will just try to look at the underlying reason someone tries to hurt you instead of letting your natural defense mechanism go to work, you will find much more peace for yourself.”

And he gives us viewers a little challenge – can we turn this into a drinking game? “I challenge you to watch any of the episodes a second time and really look at the eyes of every cast member (be sure to have a pen and paper.) Focus on the eyes of each person and write down the emotion you sense that person is going through in their life—don’t judge based on what you know about the person, or what you think you know—just look at their expression and try to read the story being told by their eyes.”

Moving right along, Tamra has some things to say regarding what we see on TV vs. her real life! First off, Tamra is adamant that some of the ladies are real-life friends off camera. “I hang out with Vicki [Gunvalson], Heather and Gretchen. There is not much arguing going on while the cameras are down,” she tells The Dish. “If we do get upset with each other it is because of something that was said on the show or in the press.”

And rescinding some of her earlier statements, she doesn’t believe Vicki is jealous of her friendship with Gretchen! “I think Vicki was just caught off guard with the new friendship. I really don’t think she is jealous, more confused to how this happened.”

Finally, Tamra tackles Slade’s horrible comedy attempt. “I though it sucked. I thought we were in a much better place, and to find out he did that set us back. There is nothing entertaining about a man making fun of the way a woman looks. It’s pretty degrading. But honestly it didn’t affect my life, so who cares!” Good attitude, T!

Tamra continues voicing her opinion in her Bravo blog. “The battle between me, Gretchen, Slade, and Vicki has been going on for years and it is by far not one sided. I don’t like the fact that Slade is acting like the victim, as if our “accusations” ruined his life. He is just as much to blame,” Tamra recounts. And I agree!

“His stand up is a perfect example of the things that have happened to put a wedge in our friendship through out the years. I am not condoning any of what has gone on between us. We were all to blame for this long and hurtful fight. We are all responsible for our own actions.”

Tamra claims she and Gretchen were elevating their BFFL status to piss Vicki off. “After Alexis and Vicki started mocking Gretchen and I about becoming friends, we decided to lay it on thick — throwing out the BFF word to shut them up. It was all in good fun and Vicki knew we were joking.”

“I have room in my life for more than one BFF. I have never turned my back on Vicki or put Gretchen before my five-year friendship with Vicki.”

Tamra also discussed Alexis’ behavior, and forget about Vicki’s jealousy, she’s more focused on Alexis’! “Alexis seems to put down Heather every chance she can,” Tamra shares. “Alexis is extremely materialistic and wishes she had everything Heather has. First thing that came out of her mouth at lunch was ‘I want that purse, I’m going to steal that purse.’”

Finally, tonight is an all-new episode of RHOC, and Tamra hosts an eighties party and pisses off supposed BFF by inviting Slade and Gretchen after word got out of Slade’s insulting and horrible comedy show. Tempers flare and conflict emerges when Vicki and Gretchen butt heads! Plus Alexis plans her nose job! A preview of the new episode is below.

A new episode of Real Housewives of Orange County airs tonight on Bravo at 8/9c.

THOUGHTS ON TAMRA’S ENGAGEMENT? DO YOU THINK SLADE IS RECYCLING THE RING? DOES JIM HELP ALEXIS AROUND THE HOUSE DESPITE WHAT WE’VE BEEN WATCHING FOR THREE SEASONS? IS TAMRA RIGHT TO BE OFFENDED BY SLADE’S COMMENTS?

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County, Slave took the stage, in what he presumed was a hysterical commentary on Housewives in their natural habitat, including the wrath of Miss. Piggy. Who really does not deserve to be unfairly compared with a certain lady of last night’s entertainment. Miss Piggy is actually well dressed as we know!

Things begin with Tamra showing up at Vicki‘s to make breakfast. Tamra looks cute – I love her shirt. Vicki immediately launches into what’s the deal with Gretchen? Are they besties, what happened, when, and why wasn’t she informed? Vicki is disappointed Tamra never confided her new friendship and warns Tamra that’s she going to have a brown nose because it’s so far up Gretchen’s mmmm. That close up of Vicki was a little frightening, no? Thanks editors!

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