I still don’t know what the hell happened on Real Housewives Of New York! One minute Bethenny Frankel was crying, the next she was hugging, the next she was building flimsy walls, the next she was eviscerating, the next she was arguing, the next she was conducting a high-powered business summit, the next she was running away, then she was apologizing. Dare I say – with all her emotional turmoil – she was acting like Kelly from Scary Island. I feel like everyone needs an instruction manual for how to operate Bethenny.
Back in the Berkshires at Dorinda Medley‘s birthday dinner, Bethenny is having a sobbing meltdown because Heather Thomson tried to smother her with a meatball like some sort of depraved Upper East Side momogul version of Aqua-Teen Hunger Force. Get the memo, Heather: Bethenny doesn’t eat! Bethenny is allergic to fish – and, also Xanax!
Then Bethenny is running around to Heather’s side of the table, eyes shining with tears (or maybe it was Skinnygirl Sparklers; who knows) hugging Heather and apologizing for the walls she’s has because everyone is trying to put her in a Skinnygirl box. “I’m over myself!” Bethenny snaps. “I just don’t want attention!” Except for the times I’ve talked to the media and put myself on reality shows!
It’s that time of the the week again, the time when we sit back and relax with the Real Housewives of New York epic fantasy novel that is Sonja Morgan’sBravo blog. But, alas! This week’s intern post is a bit more lucid than normal, so perhaps that psycho-pharmacologist has finally balanced Lady Morgan’s VitaMeataVegamin cocktail a bit better these days? Or maybe the Swami priestess is influencing this new, more rational perspective? In any case – light your abundance candles, people, because we’re diving in!
“You’ve got to love how a dinner party at which two girls cried is considered tame for my group of friends,” begins Sonja. Ha! Expressing her love for Dorinda Medley’s house, hostessing skills, and her expert handling of the den of vipers she invited for the weekend, Sonja comments, “Overall Dorinda was an amazing hostess to all of us crazy ladies, and I am so grateful to her for extending her warmth and hospitality by sharing her birthday with us nuts.” She also knows that Dorinda must have achieved all of her happiness through watching The Secret on repeat whilst lying around in a dirty robe, just like Sonja does! “I loved the story Dorinda shared about wanting to own that beautiful house. Positivity, visualization, and tenacity are the ultimate keys to success. I have learned that through my decades of hard work and experience, and it has really served me well. Everything I have dreamed has come true. Furthermore, I bring the fun, not the drama,” says Sonja.
Luann de Lessepsthinks Heather Thomson needs to be cool, not all uncool. In this week’s Bravo blog, the Real Housewives of New York’s resident Countess reviews the etiquette of Googling people’s dates, wearing elbow-length gloves to dinner, and offering meatballs to psychologically unstable dinner companions. Luann begins by praising Dorinda Medley’s beautiful home, and the sweet story of her father that went along with it. “The Berkshires in the winter is gorgeous, and Dorinda’s home is as vibrant as her personality,” she says, “I took a car from New York with Ramona [Singer], and I have to admit, it wasn’t all that bad! We’ve been through so much together that when we have a tiff, it’s more of a fender bender than a 95-car pileup. Boy, have things changed!”
Luann questions whether Ramona is ready to close the Mario chapter also, reflecting that “I think Ramona enjoys her business partner’s company and that is why she invited him to Dorinda’s party, yet I don’t feel like she’s completely moved on from Mario–they aren’t even divorced yet. They’ve been married for so long that it’s going to take time before she feels comfortable in the dating scene.” Next, Luann questions Kristen Taekman’s sanity in bringing up John’s handsy behavior to Dorinda. (Doesn’t she know that kind of smack talk is done firmly behind our friend’s back? What are we here, animals!?) Luann asks, “Is Kristen nuts bringing up how she feels about John with Dorinda? You can see in the flashback video that Kristen was getting her groove on with John and didn’t seem to mind grinding on the dance floor in front of the girls and her husband. Her explanation that shimmying in the back isn’t the same as the front seems a little hypocritical to me. John makes Dorinda happy, and she’s opened up her heart to him, so her friends need to accept John for who he is…a kind, sometimes slightly inappropriate man who should heed Dorinda’s warning that these girls are looking to throw him under the bus.”
Game, set, match. Or…dinner, meatball, cry? In her Bravo blog, Heather Thomson responds to her continuous Clash of the Titans epic brawl with Bethenny Frankel on this season’s Real Housewives of New York. Heather begins by giving us all a history lesson on the Berkshires, of which she is honorary Second Assistant to the Co-President of the Volunteer Historical Preservation Association. Or she just owns a summer house there. Anyway she explains, “Dorinda [Medley’s] house is special, and I love the history of it for her with her father. I’ve met him, and he himself is special. There is so much history in the Berkshires, and the architectural history has always fascinated me. During America’s Gilded Age (1865-1901) our country saw unprecedented economic growth and prosperity, allowing some of the nation’s wealthiest families to construct these massive estates.” Heather goes on to describe several estates (complete with photo evidence!) that she “drives by” all of the time. Are you riveted yet? Me neither.
Moving on to other Berkshire hot spots, Heather tells us, “Speaking of historical spots in the Berkshires, the Red Lion Inn (built in 1773), is where my husband and I got engaged!” adding, “Normally dinner at the Red Lion is special, but immediately the group started discussing Bethenny and all the usual topics…custody arrangements, her childhood, and opinions on her friendships and her integration into the group, or lack thereof, and the mood changed. It’s clear I was getting frustrated with the context of the conversation, and I can admit to being tough and having an irreverence for bullsh–, but I was not attempting to ‘compare’ people’s struggles.” Defending her comment of losing her nanny of 9 years as being comparable to surviving an abusive childhood, Heather retorts, ” I was not comparing one particular problem with another (but thanks for the tip, Countess). My point was that everyone has different issues, and at any given time they can be less or they can be more…I am not a judgmental person and certainly not unsympathetic to people’s challenges, misfortunes, mishaps, or sh–ty deals. That is for damn sure. Life has tough breaks, and unfortunately some of us have it worse than others, and some better, but circumstances can change in the blink of an eye… Everyone is entitled to a bad day, a good cry, and the absolute right to feel sorry for ourselves. And, we all are also entitled to a good hug, a good friend, a good turn of events and some good luck! I like to stay of the mind-set that life is good, and mostly, it is what you make of it.”
After busting in on the Real Housewives of New YorkBerkshires weekend hosted by Dorinda Medley this week, Bethenny Frankel has a lot to say in her latest Bravo blog. Even though she “came from a place of yes” in forcing herself to go to Dorinda’s in the first place, not all of the ladies were filled with glee to hear the *Ding-Dong!* of her arrival. “Oh the Berkshires…there is a lot of talk about the Berkshires. Fortunately, you won’t have to endure many more tears from me after this,” begins Bethenny. Although she originally intended not to attend Dorinda’s birthday weekend because it was her time with daughter, Bryn, Bethenny explains she had a change of contract heart. “So what did I do?” explains Bethenny, “I booked a limo with blankets and pillows and princess movies and came to the dinner after bedtime. I came from ‘a place of yes,’ and it worked out. That said, I was, as Carole [Radziwill] puts it, ‘wound tight’ having tried to pull it all together.”
One high point of the trip was getting to see Dorinda’s fab house, and the ridiculously overdressed women who inhabited it. Bethenny comments, “It was a beautiful house and so wintery, and I walked into a scene from Knots Landing with the way these women were dressed. I felt like I was overdressed. There is no more casual place in the world. That definitely made me giggle.” But giggling was cut short by the school principal at dinner that night! Bethenny explains her feelings aboutHeather Thomsonbutting in to her private giggle-fest with table neighbor, Sonja Morgan. “Well, I just wanted to chill and laugh, and I felt that Heather was on my jock again. We definitely have different styles when getting to know each other,” says Bethenny.
The Real Housewives Of New York traveled to the Berkshires to celebrate Dorinda Medley‘s 50th birthday. After spying all the luxury, wealth, and fabulous splendor around her, Ramona Singer had a change of heart – both about the Berkshires and about Dorinda’s boyfriend John.
Ramona learned that people of the Berkshires are not uncivilized heathens gallivanting around bra-less (well unless they’re Sonja Morgan!) – without air conditioners, wine fridges, and personal valets. Last season the horror of a home without a heliport nearly did Ramona in along with the terrible fright of experiencing trees in their natural habitat. Thankfully Dorinda opened Ramona’s eyes and Ramona recognized being prejudiced and stereotyping is not OK!
Speaking of things being OK, Luann de Lesseps was trapped in a car with Ramona the entire way there as Ramona feverishly searched for the number of the AC company she called last year – just in case. As Luann swanned out of the town car, in a fur-trimmed cape, she paused to look at Dorinda’s massive splendorous spread and she said, “Dahling – we aren’t in Connecticut anymore. And yes, I survived the cruel joke of a car ride with Ramona!”
Ramona Singer is becoming this season’s Real Housewives of New York professional apologizer (and for good reason!). And in her latest Bravo blog, she brushes up on her skills. “Well I guess I put my foot in my mouth big time at Dorinda [Medley’s]birthday dinner at Petrossian,” admits Ramona. “Instead of taking the compliment graciously that Heather [Thomson] gave me and Luann [de Lesseps] agreed with, I turned it around into an argument when I said they both never got me the way Dorinda did.”
Wishing she would have kept the Ramonacoaster ride strictly in “park” that night, Ramona explains, “My punishment for that was served up coldly–or should I say hotly–by Luann when she angrily started in about a conversation we had about John and Dorinda.” Ramona declares, “OMG, when will I learn to keep my mouth totally shut?! I should have just been stuffing it with caviar.”
She’s bringing Uptown a whole new Smackdown! In her Bravo blog, Dorinda Medley gives us her take on this week’s Real Housewives of New York, covering the gamut of poor housewifery dinner behavior, not-so-sneaky Kmart digs, and awkward therapy sessions. Dorinda begins by revisiting the dinner conversation she had with Ramona Singer about divorce: “Fireplace and vodka…that cures everything. I knew we needed a little drink to warm up to the divorce chat. And like I’ve always said about divorce, it’s a process. There is no one meeting or one decision and certainly not one conclusion. It’s the dismantling of a long, loving relationship that involves many years and a beautiful child, so it has to be handled with caution, respect, and grace…if possible.” She adds that “Ramona seems to be on track, her confidence is booming, and she seems ready for the next step. The fact that Mario and Avery are even speaking, let alone are on good terms, makes me so incredibly happy. Avery’s a great girl, and quite frankly, Mario’s always been a great father. What happens with Ramona and Mario does not and should not ever change that fact.”
When it comes her very polarizing main squeeze, John, Dorinda says she knew bringing him up at dinner with Ramona would “get a reaction out of her,” but as “Bethenny [Frankel] has said before, ‘The heart wants what the hearts wants,’ and I want John, so guess what folks—I get to have John. He makes me happy, simple as that.” But it’s not all praise for Bethenny as Dorinda snipes, “Oh! That therapy scene with Bethenny…how exhausting, right? I feel like we’ve been living that confrontation with her stepfather for the past month. I mean, therapy can be exhausting, sure, but enough already! That damn can of worms just needs to be avoided at this point.” Although she calls Bethenny “brave” for exposing her vulnerability in front of the cameras, Dorinda admits, “It’s made me tense watching it all unfold, and I so wanted to just make it go away.”