Last night on Real Housewives of New York the ladies continued to terrorize Montana like a plague. The beautiful surroundings of wild Montana shrank beneath the force of their bickering, bad behavior, and crying orgasms. And Cowboy Paul stroked his gun lovingly and thought, thank goodness I've got this to protect me in the apocalypse.
In the luxury accommodations, Tweedle Drunk and Tweedle Do Me are bored and suffering from cabin fever. Carole Radziwill is suffering from being too long in the asylum – serves her right for trying to observe crazies in their native environment. To assuage her boredom Sonja Morgan invites the sexy (and very young) ranch hand over to clean out the kitchen while she swans around in a negligee swatting at him with a toilet brush. I am positive she molested him by the seductive light of the fridge. Carole lost her breakfast.
Sonja is bitter that they'll be spending another night at the ranch instead of out in the town sizing up the locals – there could be hot and swarthy cowboys ready for a Mrs. Robinson adventure with a big city gal. Sonja apparently thinks Reese Weather-spoon is out there, just waiting to have fun. Instead Kristen Taekman has planned a chef to come and make dinner for the girls. Sonja is over personal chefs – she does this everyday! With what budget? I wasn't aware that Groupon offered this?
The Real Housewives of New York co-starsLuAnn de Lessepsand Heather Thomson (our favorites this season!) sat down with Buzzfeed to dish about everything from their shoe size to Jacques breaking his nose in tae kwon do! The ladies hit on many of their Housewives-related favorites and it has us questioning their sanity a little.
LuAnn is first to dish that Melissa Gorga is her favorite singing Housewife! When asked what her favorite original song was, LuAnn responded "The girl from New Jersey, Melissa Gorga. She’s not bad. If I have to pick one." Heather remained loyal to Lu and said, “Money Can’t Buy You Class”! I mean, who can beat “Money Can’t Buy You Class”?? Any LuAnn de Lesseps song, she’s the only singing housewife for me."
Admittedly, I do this every time a newbie joins a franchise. I fall in major like with the fresh face only to come back and bite my words a few seasons later. Real Housewives of New York is no different. I love Kristen Taekman. I adore that she's friends with Carole Radziwill and (Holla!) Heather Thomson. She's even a good sport with LuAnn deLesseps (who I like more now that she's in smaller doses) and Sonja Morgan. Best of all? She finds Aviva Drescher to be a total nut job…and, truth be told, I was quite the Aviva fan her freshman season. Hey, at least I realize my shortcomings, right?
Beginning her Bravo blog, Kristen jokes, "Yup, the 'new girl' is taking all these fancy NY Ladies to Montana. Naturally, Carole and I need a wax. Funny, so Carole and I spoke that morning and go figure, we both had waxes that day at the same place so we decided to go together! Don't all girlfriends go to hold their friend's hands while they get their kitty waxed? Ha ha! I roll in wax for real. I wax everything! Arms, legs, mustache, brows, kitty…TMI I know — but after all, this is a reality show! So we are waxed and ready for Montana! PS. Carole is a natural blonde who knew?? #shhhhhhhh" Bwahahaha! TMI, Kristen. T.M.I.
Last night on Real Housewives of New York the ladies headed to the wild, wild west in Montana. Kristen Taekman organized the trip and like the over-eager rookie she is, she expected everyone to be jumping with glee at the prospect of spending a week at a dude ranch far, far away from any actual dudes. Now you know Sonja T. Morgan was going through withdrawal something terrible – something that even a pair of cotton granny panties couldn't cure.
Before the ladies left Aviva Drescherdecided she needed a little attention. Because you know - Meviva. Aviva had suddenly came down with a rampant case of asthma. She's allergic to horses, and hay, and long plane rides with women she does not like, and best-selling books, and being away from Saint Reid, savoir of upper east side princesses with daddy issues. Clearly Aviva is not allergic to asses – I mean she's able to be around George.
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here's a roundup of some of our favorite photos from this week! Enjoy!
One of Bravo's original franchises may suffer from lackluster ratings but it certainly hasn't suffered from lack of drama. I'm not sure why viewers haven't connected to the storylines because I've found the combination of the ladies interesting, and the storylines – for the most part – amusing.
Ramona Singer took to twitter today to post photos of her behind-the-scenes hair and makeup and also reveal her look. It's quite different from the Ramona satin cocktail dresses of yore – and that's a good thing. Thankfully, the bang curler is still present. It's her signature look!
Kristen Taekman also prepared for her first ever Housewives reunion – it should be an experience. Photos are below!
The ladies are still in Saratoga where Sonja's drunken meltdown culminates with a half-hearted attempt to flee wearing a shirt that does not count as a dress and absconding LuAnn de Lesseps' limo driver. Unfortunately a coveting of wine momentarily distracts her and Sonja decides to enact her payback by dropping some wine farts before forgiving the other ladies and hitting up the club.
I just want to get out of the way that Aviva Drescher's father George is disgusting. Now Ramona Singer is no slouch when it comes to inappropriate comments and unfathomable rudeness, but at least Pinot mostly restricts her mouth to inserting her pinot-soaked foot in it and spilling out gaffes of astonishing social ineptitude. George, on the other hand, takes it to the level of grotesque and I am frankly insulted that Bravo expected viewers to enjoy that.
In the midst of George and Ramona's argument last night on Real Housewives of New York, she was matched level-for-level with him in trashy, inappropriate comments, although Ramona's comments are as inappropriately lewd in terms of insulting rudeness as George's are in insulting sexual harassment. I'm not going to really repeat what was said save for the fact that if I were Ramona I'd be contacting the EEOC about harassment in the workplace! Yuck and yuck and more yuck!
It would have been nice if one of these two self-righteous hubris-obsessed blowhards could have taken the highroad instead of mutually sinking to an abhorrent level, but alas… not gonna happen right? In other news Sonja Morgangot drunk – send a press release!