Heidi Montag

ray-j-3

Well tonight looks like the night the niceties vanish and stuff gets real on Celebrity Big Brother.  Firstly we have the viewer warning and then the trailers of arguments and new additions (and if the rumors are to be believed, Speidi are not going to know what’s hit them).

So on with the show.  Straight off, Stacy’s doing that breaking into song thing again.  Which is getting really tired now.  One minute talking, next minute booming out a note.  If she’s not doing that, she’s talking about Whitney Houston.  Again.  At least this time she’s actually talking to Ray J about it rather than about him.  Thankfully she stops blasting her tunes long enough to have a deep conversation about Whitney’s death and Ray J admits he blames himself, as he had gone to get shoes for a night out and took too long so was running late.  A sad conversation which thankfully the housemates treated with respect, decency and tact.  Ray J is clearly upset afterwards and seeks solace in the diary room, visibly distressed.  Such a shame.

cbb day 2 rayj

Day 2 in the Celebrity Big Brother house and Ray J is waking up on the sofa because apparently it’s disrespectful to a spouse to share a bed with someone. Has this guy seen the show? Or get any warning what Big Brother entails whatsoever? He needs a word with his manager…if sharing a bed with male or female is this much of an issue, he has some shocks coming his way while he’s here.

We’re still at the stage of the game where everyone is feeling each other out, and weighing each other up. Bianca Gascoigne has a very deep and meaningful conversation about her father with Nicola McLean and Jasmine Waltz (who has been suspiciously quiet so far – the whole thing is like Jenga, when you prod and tease at the blocks to see which is the easiest to bring the whole thing down).  Unfortunately, the meaningful conversation is wasted on me as Bianca appears to have metal spikes down the parting of her hair. Like, what the…?! Does she sleep with that in?? Does it not snag?? Does she wake up in a pool of feathers and a ripped pillow cases?? How bizarre.

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Celebrity Big Brother

Here we go, day one of the Celebrity Big Brother antics and the teasers are showing Speidi (Heidi and Spencer Pratt) up to their normal camera-stealing, attention-loving, drama-craving tricks. Oh, wait… Am I meant to be neutral and unbiased? Oops.

So we left yesterday with beige tracksuit-wearing Stacy Francis being sent to the garden, whilst the All-Stars returned to the house to meet up with the remainder of the Newbies. The house is abuzz with the news that Ray J and Stacy have a history (although unknown as yet what that is), and if she doesn’t have enough reasons to justify her tears and bird-giving, Spencer and Heidi enter the garden to tell Stacy to sit on the specific ‘edited out’ chair and other ‘comforting’ pearls of wisdom (must be neutral…must be neutral…think happy thoughts…).

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Celebrity Big Brother

So Christmas is over, New Year’s resolutions are still in those baby stages of not being broken, and it is that time of year where you guys send over your finest (?!) celebrities to put in the Celebrity Big Brother mixing pot for thirty days to simmer, annoy, and show us Brits how to do Reality TV.

I have had the pleasure of watching Big Brother for many years (although I’ve still not forgiven you for the offense-to-the-ears intrusion that was Perez Hilton), and we seem to have more and more input from our friends on your side of the ocean, so I thought it only fair I keep you updated on the activities on our side.

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Landon Clements

If you thought that Landon Clements looked familiar when she first joined Southern Charm, you might have caught on to something. No, you’re not going crazy. You might have actually seen her before on another TV series. Pre-Southern Charm, Landon appeared on the iconic reality series The Hills.

Wait. What!? She was on the show because she was friends with both Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag. Not only that, but Landon also worked for events producer Brent Bolthouse, where Heidi also “worked.” 

The people at MTV even approached Landon about being a full-time cast member, but she turned them down. Umm, come again?! The Hills was such a major television phenomenon. How could she not be into that? Well, it turns out that Landon had some pretty valid reasons to decline the offer.

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the mother/daughter experiment

On last night’s the Mother/Daughter Experiment, Dr. Debbie challenged the moms and daughters to participate in mock-funerals for each other. Oh goody! Most of the moms and daughters were deeply and profoundly moved by the experience – not Kim Richards

Courtney Stodden is back from the hospital, and she recognizes that she had a physical reaction to dealing with Krista Keller‘s chronically spewing BS

Heidi Montag and Natalie Nunn are treating therapy like a non-stop party and open the session with morning mimosas. 

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Krista Keller & Courtney Stodden

Last night’s episode of The Mother/Daughter Experiment was supposed to be about resentment, but the focus was all about delusion. 

Courtney Stodden and Krista Keller are such an extreme level of dysfunction it’s practically nullified the other moms/daughters, uniting them in their shared astonishment at the of f–ked uppityness. Everyone overtly gawks at the crazy. The collective question everyone wants an answer to: Why would Krista would allow her 16-year-old daughter to marry a 51-year-old? No one gets a straight answer, just a lot of subterfuge and obfuscation around the point. 

Heidi Montag and Natalie Nunn have bonded and make it their mission to get to the bottom of this. 

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The Mother Daughter Experiment kicks off!

Last night was the premiere of The Mother/Daughter Experiment, where six mother and daughter duos sought televised therapy to mend their complicated emotional issues. Becuase that always turns out well, right?!

Some of these participants, like Courtney Stodden (Couples Therapy) and Natalie Nunn (Marriage Bootcamp), have already done made-for-TV therapy. Judging by the results of Courtney’s boob job – seriously, are those things actually helium balloons??? – I would say round one was a failed experiment. Let’s hope round 2 improves things! 

Kim Richards and her daughter Kimberly Jackson arrive first. It’s clear that Kim is putting on an ‘I’m so not about drama’ act in the hopes that no one watching this show has also seen Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills (We have.). It turns out the moms and daughters have to share a room, which isn’t too weird for Kim and Kimberly who usually share a bed. Kimberly seems sweet and like she was bamboozled into doing this. 

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