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Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Holiday Special

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There is nothing like the Shannon Thompson crew sporting tacky Christmas sweaters for yet another Here Comes Honey Boo Boo holiday special.  It's a tad depressing to be watching all the Christmas preparations almost two months after the fact, but I am sure I will soon be thanking my lucky stars that I didn't spend my Christmas being sneezed on by any member of this family!

The episode begins with the June, Sugar Bear, Uncle Poodle and the girls decorating for Christmas and preparing for the crew's annual canned food and toy drive.  I must commend them for their charity work.  Last year, they were able to help 108 families in need, and this year June's goal is to raise $10,000 in donations.  Sugar Bear is in charge of decorating the yard with countless light up plastic candy canes and nativity scenes, and I'm sure there will be some giant inflatable snow globes in the mix…a girl can dream at least.  In the days leading up until Christmas, the family will spend their evenings standing in the overly decorated yard with Sugar Bear dressed up as Santa.  Folks will come from miles around to see the debacle and donate items to the charity.  They locate the plastic baby Jesus in the shed, but alas, his toes have been chewed off by some animal.  I can barely get the phrase "forklift foot" out of my mouth before Chubbs steals my thunder.

Some of the decorations have seen better days, but June refuses to throw anything away.  She attempts to fix a light-up white tree to no avail, declaring it the "Leaning Tree of Pisa."  Alana shares that her mother is a hoarder and is also "bat poop crazy" when it comes to Christmas decorations.  Hey, at least she said "poop," right?  June is quite the handy woman with a roll of duct tape.  Alana stays out of the way…singing a lullaby to the plastic baby Jesus before sneezing on him.  I knew it was coming!  I have to give it to June, she goes all out with the decorations, and she takes a lot of pride in their yard as it shows their Christmas spirit.

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I would like to personally thank whoever at TLC had the briliant idea to put June Shannon, Sugar Bear, and family into Pilgrim garb for the opening sequence of their Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Thanksgiving special.  It was amazing. 

We begin the special in the hospital, where Mama June and Sugar Bear are talking to a groggy Pumpkin.  Unfortunately, the key catching incident from Halloween was worse than they originally thought, and Pumpkin had to have emergency surgery for a detached retina.  Poor girl!  Sugar Bear plays the doting father figure (seriously, how sweet a guy is he?), while June plays with her daughter's belly fat.  A drugged up Pumpkin just slurs her disdain.  Back at home, Pumpkin is on strict bed rest, so June gives her a metal bowl and spoon to bang if she needs assistance.  They are like a family of fat McGyvers! 

TRAIN!  Alana is working on a project for school about the first Thanksgiving.  She knows there were turkeys and that the Indians Native Americans ended up getting screwed over with a crappy meal and some casinos.  She also knows that the Pilgrims came over on the Mayship the Flowership the Mayflower.  According to Chubbs, this happened in 1942 (near the time of Pearl Harbor) when Christopher Columbus discovered the new world.  Close, Chubbs.  Very close.  The first Thanksgiving meal was held at the Piedmont.  Wait, no.  Kribbet's Rot.  Make that Plymouth Rock.  I'm getting much dumber by watching these two minutes of television, but it is totally worth it.  And TRAIN…twice!

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Alana Thompson and her redneckognizing family are back with a slew of holiday specials.  First up?  It's Halloween!  If the group's time at Shhh!  It's A Wig is any indication, we are in for a wild, wild ride.  I have not been quiet in my love for all things Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, but last night was overkill.  Don't get me wrong, I still love this family, but TLC needs to differentiate between thirty minutes of hilarious redneck reveling and an hour of dragging out poor Sugar Bear in a wheelchair.  Although, how awesome was he with baby Kaitlyn?

Oh Lord, I don't even know what to say.  Two minutes into the special we are treated to June napping haphazardly across her bed and Pumpkin emerging from the crawl space beneath the house (just how close does that train come to their home??) with some nastiness she's found.  Pumpkin ties said nastiness to a 2×4 and dangles it over her mother's face.  I can only imagine what the remaining fifty-eight minutes have in store.  As for Chubbs, Chickadee, and Smoochie, they love Halloween for the sweets.  As Alana so eloquently sings/raps, "Halloween is all about the treats…treatin' myself to candy!"  She's practically autotuned!

Poor Sugar Bear is in a wheelchair due to a recent surgery, and Pumpkin wants to dress up Chickadee's baby as a cheese ball for Halloween.  The baby is precious!  June shares that Halloween is a special time for her family, given that the girls love to dress up (well, duh, they are a pageant fam!), and they love to eat candy.  I'd say that's a fair assessment.  The family is decorating the yard for Halloween, and I have never seen such an assortment of pumpkin inflatables.  There's that darn train again…I'd make spotting the train a drinking game, but I fear that I wouldn't be able to make it through this recap!  June and Sugar Bear gather up the girls to head to the pumpkin patch.  I'm so happy to see they already have their Christmas lights up on their house.  That should make preparation for the yuletide holiday special that much easier. 

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