I would like to personally thank whoever at TLC had the briliant idea to put June Shannon, Sugar Bear, and family into Pilgrim garb for the opening sequence of their Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Thanksgiving special. It was amazing.
We begin the special in the hospital, where Mama June and Sugar Bear are talking to a groggy Pumpkin. Unfortunately, the key catching incident from Halloween was worse than they originally thought, and Pumpkin had to have emergency surgery for a detached retina. Poor girl! Sugar Bear plays the doting father figure (seriously, how sweet a guy is he?), while June plays with her daughter's belly fat. A drugged up Pumpkin just slurs her disdain. Back at home, Pumpkin is on strict bed rest, so June gives her a metal bowl and spoon to bang if she needs assistance. They are like a family of fat McGyvers!
TRAIN! Alana is working on a project for school about the first Thanksgiving. She knows there were turkeys and that the Indians Native Americans ended up getting screwed over with a crappy meal and some casinos. She also knows that the Pilgrims came over on the Mayship the Flowership the Mayflower. According to Chubbs, this happened in 1942 (near the time of Pearl Harbor) when Christopher Columbus discovered the new world. Close, Chubbs. Very close. The first Thanksgiving meal was held at the Piedmont. Wait, no. Kribbet's Rot. Make that Plymouth Rock. I'm getting much dumber by watching these two minutes of television, but it is totally worth it. And TRAIN…twice!
This was a good week for our favorite reality shows! It seems that everyone is getting back into the swing of 2013, and with a routine comes our favorite old habits…watching some of the most fantastically trashy television series known to man.
Pick on June Shannon and her family all you want, but you have to hand it to this reality TV mom for having a good financial head on her shoulders.
June has said in the past that she won't change the way her family lives just because they're earning good money on reality TV. June is frugal and wise, knowing that Here Comes Honey Boo Boo won't last forever, so she saves every cent she can. The celebrity mama is squirreling away all that TLC money for her daughters' futures.
Alana Thompson and her redneckognizing family are back with a slew of holiday specials. First up? It's Halloween! If the group's time at Shhh! It's A Wig is any indication, we are in for a wild, wild ride. I have not been quiet in my love for all things Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, but last night was overkill. Don't get me wrong, I still love this family, but TLC needs to differentiate between thirty minutes of hilarious redneck reveling and an hour of dragging out poor Sugar Bear in a wheelchair. Although, how awesome was he with baby Kaitlyn?
Oh Lord, I don't even know what to say. Two minutes into the special we are treated to June napping haphazardly across her bed and Pumpkin emerging from the crawl space beneath the house (just how close does that train come to their home??) with some nastiness she's found. Pumpkin ties said nastiness to a 2×4 and dangles it over her mother's face. I can only imagine what the remaining fifty-eight minutes have in store. As for Chubbs, Chickadee, and Smoochie, they love Halloween for the sweets. As Alana so eloquently sings/raps, "Halloween is all about the treats…treatin' myself to candy!" She's practically autotuned!
Poor Sugar Bear is in a wheelchair due to a recent surgery, and Pumpkin wants to dress up Chickadee's baby as a cheese ball for Halloween. The baby is precious! June shares that Halloween is a special time for her family, given that the girls love to dress up (well, duh, they are a pageant fam!), and they love to eat candy. I'd say that's a fair assessment. The family is decorating the yard for Halloween, and I have never seen such an assortment of pumpkin inflatables. There's that darn train again…I'd make spotting the train a drinking game, but I fear that I wouldn't be able to make it through this recap! June and Sugar Bear gather up the girls to head to the pumpkin patch. I'm so happy to see they already have their Christmas lights up on their house. That should make preparation for the yuletide holiday special that much easier.
Do you think former Real Housewives of New York star Jill Zarin ever really listens to what is coming out of her mouth? I don't mean that to sound ugly, but I honestly don't think she hears herself…or if she does, she has to be one of the most self-confident, yet always victimized, women in reality show history. It's almost comical.
Perhaps I shouldn't have watched her again on a Watch What Happens Live rerun, but I'll admit I got sucked into it. It's as if Jill was watching an entirely different show than the rest of us! When you read her recent interview after the jump, you'll get an even better taste of what I mean. She touts Kim Kardashian's work ethic (she's almost as hard-working as Jill herself!), and pretty much poo poos poor people…or at least people who like to shop at K-Mart. Perhaps she's never seen some of Sofia Vergara's line!
Santa Claus had better redneckognize! My favorite precocious six-year-old is very excited about this time of year, and she's anxiously awaiting a visit from the jolly, bearded guy in a red suit…and I don't mean Sugar Bear in July!
The breakout reality star may have catapulted to super stardom this year thanks to her hit show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, but Alana Thompson is just a regular girl when it comes to celebrating Christmas, and Mama June has made sure to keep her youngest daughter very grounded. On the heels of being named one of Barbara Walters' Ten Most Fascinating People, Alana is focused on the same thing that all children are excited about this time of year–the holidays!
I know I've said it before, but I love, love, LOVE the Robertson family. If I didn't think Jase and his wifey were so adorbs, he would totally be my dream guy. Yes, I'm talking about that little gem on A&E known as Duck Dynasty. Sure, the situations they get into are definitely scripted, but the love and hilarity is so real. Duck Dynasty is what reality programming should always be like…it's the same reason I watch Here Comes Honey Boo Boo and Jersey Shore. They all truly care for one another.
Yes, they're hairy and silly and don't shower that often, but they are all very intelligent and kind. Did you know that Phil is a former school teacher who declined the NFL draft while playing first-string quarterback at Louisiana Tech? The second-string quarterback when Phil played was NFL Hall-of-Famer Terry Bradshaw. All of his boys went to college, and they all became Duck Masters except for Al who used to be a minister…he's also the only one sans beard. Okay, okay, I'll stop with the ridiculous Robertson trivia. I just love them…and now they've given me yet another reason.
The Robertsons typically live under the radar (minus the whole reality show thing), but now they are using their popularity for the greater good. I am not at all surprised. These are good people, y'all, and if you've never watched, I highly encourage you to do so. It's drama-free fun…and cute burly men!
As 2012 draws to a close we can reflect on the good times. And by that I mean the good TV! 2012 brought a plethora of new reality shows; some good, some bad, some horribly addicting even if they suck, but we'll tak'em all.
Below is Reality Tea's list of the most addicting best new reality shows of the year.