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Jacqueline Laurita

rhonj5

Last night's Real Housewives of New Jersey was all very…orange.  From Caroline Manzo's hair as she bossed around her family and tried broker a treaty between Jacqueline Laurita and Teresa Giudice to Joe Gorga's billboard extravaganza, orange was definitely the color scheme.  Thankfully, it's a color I like.  What I don't like is all the underhanded quips and lack of accountability, but I've learned that behavior is par for the course with this crowd!

Melissa Gorga takes her boys to visit Joe at the job site and he gets a call asking him to model on a tanning salon billboard. Mel doesn't want to join him in his highway advertising debut because Tre once did a commercial for the same salon. What a throwback!  Melissa doesn't want Teresa to assume she's copying her yet again.  She's content just to drive the bulldozer. All of the bouncing and shrieking and "make it stop" is probably something Joe is used to hearing in the bedroom.

Teresa is hosting the first family dinner in ages. She has her girls help her prepare the table, and they are excited to see their cousins. Teresa asks the always entertaining Melania if she plans to cook for her husband when she grows up.  Um no.  Melania's husband will definitely be cooking for her.

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Danielle Staub

What is it with the ladies of Real Housewives of New Jersey?  Not only are they living above their means, but when they are forced to declare bankruptcy, they get accused of lying to hide assets.

On the heels of the news of Teresa and Joe Giudice's multiple indictments, Tre's former co-star and table flip victim Danielle Staub is making sure the same thing doesn't happen to her.

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Celebrity Sightings In New York City - May 30, 2013

With news of Teresa Giuidice's indictment sweeping across the twitterverse naturally friends and foes alike are going to react. 

Teresa has been garnering support from some unlikely sources – including Real Housewives of New Jersey co-star Jacqueline Laurita

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Melissa Gorga agreed, "@JacLaurita amen. Enough already." Our source told us that Melissa and Poison had not reached out to Teresa after the news broke. 

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ng jersey housewives 230511

There are two things the ladies of Real Housewives of New Jersey love: an opulent party and the inside of a courtroom! Lucky for Teresa Giudice - she gets to experience both. And she's not the only one! With bankruptcies (and rumors of them) galore, the ladies make no effort to stifle their spending. 

With news of Teresa and Joe Giudice being indicted for money fraud this week we thought we’d explore the fabulicious (and fabulously over-the-top) events of the RHONJ.

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rhonj-recap

So last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey was, dare I say it, fun! And positive. I was clearly watching the wrong show. Or I fell into the Twilight Zone.

While Teresa Giudice and Poison are practicing their "I Feel" statements with Dr. V in the anti-psychotic chamber, the rest of the crew (with Caroline Manzo now in attendance!) is discussing Jacqueline Laurita. Yes, Teresa blames Jacqueline for the Mayan Calendar failing to drop a house on Melissa Gorga's head. And yes, Jacqueline blames Teresa for her spontaneous combustion which left nothing but some wine corks and a pile of old tweets on Chris' pillow. 

So anyway, Jacqueline is here in spirit. Evil spirit!

After Dr. V convinces Teresa and Poison they need to like spend time together not arguing and everyone hugs, Melissa comes in. I was really confused about when Tammy Faye Baker was cast on RHONJ, but there she was sitting there with Dr. V and Poison tearing up and refusing to take responsibility for anything. Huh… OH – wait – that was just Teresa with the worst, most ridiculous eye makeup ever. Seriously, she is so much prettier without the crazy eyelashes and the bad weave. 

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rhonj-recap-fight

Hey – remember a few months back when a big ol' brawl erupted when the Real Housewives of New Jersey stars were filming at the opening of Kim D's (KIM D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) new boutique, Posche 2? 

Remember how Jacqueline Laurita reportedly ripped off her designer discount stilettos (girl's on a budg!) and whacked Johnny The Greek (aka John Karagiorgis) on the head, giving him like 10th degree brain damage. He couldn't tweet for one whole day, y'all!

And then Joe Gorga and Chris Laurita like attacked him. We've seen Poison fight, so I imagine Chris did most of the beating down. And then someone threw a sink… 

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rhonj-dr-v

Oh brother… last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey was, well… it was a hot, sticky, ridiculous, mess! 

Things begin with a sauced up and (spray on hair'd up)  Joe Gorga charging the brother-in-law who destroyed his life, Joe Giudice. These people are the living embodiment of a soap opera, only not as devious and calculating. Except for Melissa  So anyway, Poison charges at Juicy and unfortunately Juicy immediately drops him and begins punching him.

Poor Melissa Gorga leaps on top of Juicy to try and pry him away from her precious little husbanito. "Teresa, help your brother!" she screams. 

Teresa Giudice is gonna help alright - girlfriend is grabbing her purse, hightailing it out of there, and telling the producers to call the cops. Fire up that party bus cause mama is fleeing the coop! Just kidding, a panicked Teresa bellows to someone to call the cops. Doesn't Juicy have enough felonies?! Do not call the cops, but do get the mace! Or at least some Fabellini to subdue these people. 

Back inside fight club, it takes all of the remaining Gorgadice (and Wallpaper) family members to pry Juicy off of Poison. Or Poison off Juicy – I really couldn't tell who was up and who was down at that point, except Melissa, who was shrieking and scratching.

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Jacqueline Laurita Doesn’t Think She Needed To Be At The Retreat; Says Teresa And Melissa Both Have Fault In Situation

Jacqueline Laurita was the guest on tonight's episode of Watch What Happens Live, which followed the crazy episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey (which Mary will be recapping for tomorrow's reading pleasure). 

Jacqueline sums up the issues and any hope between Teresa Giudice and Joe Gorga, "That's why there's so much intense feelings because there's so much hurt there, but so much love there, too."

On Joe Giudice's autism comments on last week's episode of RHONJ: "I know a lot of people got hard on Joe for the autism comment but I know Joe and i think he was acknowledging the brains and the intelligence in a lot of children on the spectrum but I think he just has a lack of knowledge of how much time and attention and focus it is and work in terms of raising a child with special need. I think he just doesn't really know but he just saw them as very intelligent which is very true but you know I think he just didn't realize what he was saying." 

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