Last night was the much awaited season finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey. And I mean much awaited because we are all desperate to escape the meandering Gorgadice feud storyline which has dominated the show for three seasons.
With majorly dropping ratings this season, we're hoping next season is a season of change. But until then, our favorite existing Jersey stars weigh in on last night's episode.
Teresa Giudice did not comment – clearly her appearance on WWHLsaid enough. As for Melissa Gorga she used the opportunity to promote her various endeavors – currently a controversial "marriage bible" – and retweeted that this season had the "perfect ending". OooooKaaaay.
Last night was the season finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey. I don't know why they bothered taping one this season since it was pretty much a complete rehash of last season's! Of course things ended on a much better note, so there's that – and it seemed as if Teresa Giudice and Joe Gorga had finally taken the steps towards the slow, treacly path to rebuilding… But then we saw WWHL. So, anyway – Deja-Jersey!
Apparently all things Jersey must end with Posche. #Posche4Life. Kim D has some magic clutches on the producers of RHONJ – I mean how on earth has she roped them into filming her event three seasons running?! It starts with Penny Karagiorgis squaring off against Teresa. Did Teresa tell Penny all about the misdeeds of her sister-in-law Melissa Gorga? Penny says yes, Teresa says no. I say (as does Joe Giudice): "Who cares?!"
Penny reveals she has Teresa's phone number in her phone but there's no proof they've communicated as she doesn't save "texez" – or "Texas" if you're Teresa. Then Johnny, Penny's large, not in charge, husband appears to defend his wife and take Poison down to size (invisible?), or something. He's got texas and tweets galore and he's also got Poison breathing down his neck like a steroid-engineered gnome. Little man feisty. Little man get mad. Little man attack. Rawr!
Caroline Manzo has already landed a spinoff aptly titled 'Manzo'd With Children' and in light of that has opted to leave the show. At least temporarily while she shoots a pilot for her new show! Some sources say Caroline may come back pending the spinoff's success, others say she is officially done!
My Magic Hate Ball predicts 'Try Again', Caro! I'm sorry while I think they're a sweet family, they just don't have much charisma or presence. I think that will be super boring to watch.
With the case summarily dismissedJacs hopped on twitter to celebrate! First of all, despite witness accounts, she denies hitting Johnny on the head with her shoe. "Disgusting that He lied about me hitting him w/a shoe!It never happened!I didn't do that! Raw footage proves that!" Yes… let's see this raw footage that likely exposes what a whole producer manipulated set-up this entire shenanigan was!
Even though we have another week yet before the first part of the Real Housewives of New Jersey season 5 reunion show airs, Bravo has released oodles of photos for us to gawk at in the meantime.
In fact, there were so many pics, I have to break this up into two posts because our poor slideshow gallery (it's new and improved and awesome!) could only handle so much RHONJ in one sitting and made me split it into two.
Jacqueline Laurita ponders the mental health of Johnny the Greek and tells the Twitter haters off.
As Real Housewives of New Jersey comes to an end this week, I'm a little sad that this is the last of Jacqueline's blogs. Her reflections on the episodes have been the highlight of the season for me because she's so "whatever, you're all insane, I've had some wine and I'm gonna type this up quick so I can get back to Twitter, bitches" in them.
This week Jacqueline explains that she did not remember ever meeting Penny Karagiorgis, "Kim D. told me I had actually been in Penny's presence a couple of times in the past in quick passing at her store and at one of her events, but for some reason, I couldn't remember her AT ALL. I certainly don't know the girl, and we have never been formally introduced. I am sure I would have remembered her if she had been rude to me in the past, so she must have been nice to my face. Even when Penny was pointed out to me at Moxie, she didn't look familiar at all to me. Maybe I was distracted by her hair, but I didn't recognize her face. Come to think of it, I have met lots of people, and nobody has actually been rude to my face upon meeting them. I guess most rude people just talk behind my back or hide behind their computers like cowards."
According to North Jersey, a deal was brokered between the lawyers of the stars and Johnny Karagiorgis' attorney this week and part of that agreement was dropping the charges. A judge signed off on the deal in court this afternoon and ordered the charges dismissed.
For those not in the know, the co-stars were being charged with assault and making terroristic threats after the epic brawl at the Posche 2 grand opening party.
Jacs just Tweeted, "I don't know any man that would lie about a woman hitting him with a shoe! #neverhappened".
I'm just gonna say it – I'm over this crap. Yep, I just called Real Housewives of New Jersey "crap" so nana-nana-boo-boo. Look I'm as mature as the castmembers now!
So last night was part one of the so-called "epic" season finale. It was pretty much rehashing of last season's season finale except there will be actual fist fighting. So they took last season and made it more trashy! Lovely, Bravo. Really just lovely.
Before all that, we were rendered temporarily deaf by Melissa Gorga attempting to sing. While I was holding my head and cringing, Bravo threw Penny Karagiorgis, her Wal-mart extensions ripped off from a Barbie Halloween costume, and Teresa Giudice shrieking at each other in my face.
It's a miracle I did not spontaneously combust right here on my non-made-of-marble sofa while drinking my non-fabellini alcoholic beverage. Maybe next week…