Even though we have another week yet before the first part of the Real Housewives of New Jersey season 5 reunion show airs, Bravo has released oodles of photos for us to gawk at in the meantime.
In fact, there were so many pics, I have to break this up into two posts because our poor slideshow gallery (it's new and improved and awesome!) could only handle so much RHONJ in one sitting and made me split it into two.
Jacqueline Laurita ponders the mental health of Johnny the Greek and tells the Twitter haters off.
As Real Housewives of New Jersey comes to an end this week, I'm a little sad that this is the last of Jacqueline's blogs. Her reflections on the episodes have been the highlight of the season for me because she's so "whatever, you're all insane, I've had some wine and I'm gonna type this up quick so I can get back to Twitter, bitches" in them.
This week Jacqueline explains that she did not remember ever meeting Penny Karagiorgis, "Kim D. told me I had actually been in Penny's presence a couple of times in the past in quick passing at her store and at one of her events, but for some reason, I couldn't remember her AT ALL. I certainly don't know the girl, and we have never been formally introduced. I am sure I would have remembered her if she had been rude to me in the past, so she must have been nice to my face. Even when Penny was pointed out to me at Moxie, she didn't look familiar at all to me. Maybe I was distracted by her hair, but I didn't recognize her face. Come to think of it, I have met lots of people, and nobody has actually been rude to my face upon meeting them. I guess most rude people just talk behind my back or hide behind their computers like cowards."
According to North Jersey, a deal was brokered between the lawyers of the stars and Johnny Karagiorgis' attorney this week and part of that agreement was dropping the charges. A judge signed off on the deal in court this afternoon and ordered the charges dismissed.
For those not in the know, the co-stars were being charged with assault and making terroristic threats after the epic brawl at the Posche 2 grand opening party.
Jacs just Tweeted, "I don't know any man that would lie about a woman hitting him with a shoe! #neverhappened".
I'm just gonna say it – I'm over this crap. Yep, I just called Real Housewives of New Jersey "crap" so nana-nana-boo-boo. Look I'm as mature as the castmembers now!
So last night was part one of the so-called "epic" season finale. It was pretty much rehashing of last season's season finale except there will be actual fist fighting. So they took last season and made it more trashy! Lovely, Bravo. Really just lovely.
Before all that, we were rendered temporarily deaf by Melissa Gorga attempting to sing. While I was holding my head and cringing, Bravo threw Penny Karagiorgis, her Wal-mart extensions ripped off from a Barbie Halloween costume, and Teresa Giudice shrieking at each other in my face.
It's a miracle I did not spontaneously combust right here on my non-made-of-marble sofa while drinking my non-fabellini alcoholic beverage. Maybe next week…
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here's a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
Above: Jenni Pulos shared, "Just died and went to heaven and Hello Kitty is flying me there!"
So last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey the producers teased us with progress, yet again, but then we all ended up right back where we started with some sort of family drama nonsense.
Gaaawd. Gawwwwwd. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaawd. It's all sooooo boring. We don't care. And you know what, it doesn't even seem believable anymore. Ugh. That's like all I have to muster. Recap over. Bye! Just kidding, but I'm gonna go ahead and say the highlight of last night's show was Penny Drossos-Karagiorgis' 10 foot long ponytail extension from the My Little Pony Weave Collection! Seriously that synthetic tail she was sporting was the color of Kraft Mac & Cheese and looked like straight up plastic Easter grass. As RuPaul would say: 'Grrrrrrrrllllll…'
My other favorite part of the episode: Melissa Gorga's "singing". Her music career is about as believable as Penny's hair. Alright let's dive in!
So Teresa Giudice is pimping out Skinny Italian foods. She's got some sort of "store" where she has all the packages displayed. Is it edible? Apparently she's saving pasta from being boring by dumping a bunch of love in some pre-packaged rigatoni. Whatever. The real point of this meeting is so she can discuss the Melissa drama with her mom and mother-in-law. I'm not gonna snark – the mommies are adorable. They encourage Teresa to invite Joe and Melissa for a family lunch. Alls good now… for less time than it takes to boil a pot of spaghetti!
The Real Housewives of New Jersey star hit up Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week with her daughters Milania and Gia. The Giudice girls were all smiles in the front row for the Just Dance with Boy Meets girl by Stacy Igel fashion show during Style360 Spring 2014 at Metropolitan Pavilion.
All kidding aside, Gia filmed a video message about cyber bullying for the brand. Gia writes, "My #BMGLiveOutLoudMoment was dealing with cyber bullying by social media. Knowing that this is a hard thing to deal with I want to inspire kids to let them know everyone is special in there own way and that they have a voice to stand up to bullies." Her video is below.
A Franklin Lakes man named Mark J. McGuire was arrested last week for fraudulently representing himself as Jacqueline and Chris Laurita's attorney!
The man in question, who was charged with unauthorized practice of law, spent 45 minutes posing as the Laurita's counsel while they were being interviewed by police over their participation in the Posche 2 Salon Brawl. You know the one where wackin' Jacqueline allegedly smacked 'Johnny The Greek' with her stiletto!