Well, well… what have we here. Is it Melissa Gorga appearing on the cover of a tabloid, which she undoubtedly got paid to be on, bashing co-star Teresa Giudice? I mean no big right – except for the fact that we just spent an ENTIRE season of Real Housewives of New Jersey discussing how Teresa was a terrible person for doing just that!
Oh my how the tables have turned. Spin, spin, spin Melissa – gotta get that story out. Now, I fully (and I mean FULLY) expect Teresa to be next with some bigger badder media (Extra?, 20/20? People? OPRAH?) hopping out there to do the same, but I just find it very ironic after all Melissa's lambasting about how Teresa was using her friends and families to make money and get attention. Hypocrite or is Teresa just getting what she deserves?
Me thinks Melissa's real annoyance with tabloid-gate was that no one wanted to put her pretty face on the cover of a magazine. Well, except for that free New Jersey weekly. Lady Gorga, anyone? Anyway, now here she is! She's got a story and now she's got a cover. So let's see what Lady Gorga has to say, shall we.
CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR MELISSA'S TAKE ON STRIPPER-GATE!
Oh Lord. I am terrified to write this blog post because I know how things go when one speaks of Teresa Giudice from Real Housewives of New Jersey. Here's my disclaimer: I think Teresa is a whole lot smarter than she lets on, and I think she has the ability to be extremely manipulative when it works for her. But guess what? I think the same thing about Melissa Gorga as well! In fact, all of these women seem hell bent in taking down one another in the press.
Here's the thing, Teresa can't have the keen business sense she possesses and be as ditzy as she appears. She knows fully what her fan base expects her personality to be…but it is the same with each of the ladies. Carolina Manzo is the Mama Bear, and Jacqueline Laurita is the airhead. This isn't their first rodeo! I actually find myself feeling sorry for Teresa. Her marriage seems to be in shambles, and her husband is grossly disrespectful. It's not fun to watch, it's pathetic. Of course, Teresa's fatal flaw is that she never can (and probably never will) actually admit when she is in the wrong. Oh, she'll flippantly say it in the tabloids or in her blog, but it is always followed by a qualification of how things aren't really her fault. Though she claims otherwise, Tre has perfected the art of playing the victim…and people buy it hook, line, and sinker.
That said, do I think Teresa set up Melissa with stripper-gate? No! Teresa says there is no way she could pull off that stunt given that she's a horrible actress. False. She is a wonderful actress, but I have watched enough Bravo to know that it has its own agenda and story line. The network is the ultimate puppet master, and we all know Kim D. would do anything to be one of those puppets. So, let's recap before we get into the meat of this post: I think Teresa is capable of masterminding stripper-gate, but I honestly think she has some sense (twisted as it may be) of family loyalty. Paired with Melissa's obvious desire to replace Teresa in popularity with the viewers, it makes for a perfect storm of drama. So, while Teresa has clean hands in this situation, it doesn't mean she isn't culpable for other things, like selling stories to the tabloids or pretending to think digging at Caroline's kids in her cookbook was an innocent joke. Disclaimer complete!
Sometimes Real Housewives of New Jersey is the gift that keeps on giving. And sometimes it's the white elephant present that gets passed round and round at the party cause nobody wants to take it home. After last night's episode I have come to deduce two things: 1) That Kim D and the producers are crazy, maniacal, and will do anything for drama – hence setting up both Teresa GiudiceANDMelissa Gorga OR 2) Teresa is the world's best actress, has truly missed her calling, and needs to get on Broadway ASAP.
I'll do my best to remain neutral in this recap because I have my own opinion on what's going on – regardless of what the other members of the RHONJ are attempting to spin. So it's just check my sanity at the door here and suspend my rational thoughts – you know like any good Jersey Housewife!
And I'll also do my best to remain positive, because when it's all said and done this wasn't a bad episode. For the most part everyone was nice to each other, respectful, and got along. Well, except for Richie Wakile who is doing his damnedest to stay relevant and carve himself a niche in the show. More on him in a minute.
Following Monday's crazy St. Barths finale I have a feeling the Real Housewives of New York still haven't recovered from the vacation no one ever needed (or wanted!). Thanks Bravo.
Heather Thomson managed to be in a small minority (re: party of two) of people who didn't embarrass the hell out of themselves and lose their sanity (or their underwear), which is commendable given the environment. Again, thanks Bravo!
When asked if the show has changed her life – or her business – Heather agreed that there was definitely a "big change".
"When I first signed on for the show, I expected it to be a really four solid months of my life. It's not. It's a year, it's a full-time job. It never stops. I mean, from filming the show to the talking heads, the interviews, appearing on Andy [Cohen]'s show, to the press that you do to support the show and the cast — and of course I'm not going to not do all of that — so it's always on my agenda, every week. Even when we're done filming."
Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey there was a lot build up for it to go splat! But there were a lot of nice moments too. All in all, it was a great simmer episode to sandwich between two extreme crazy ones. And I guess next week we'll see just how much Teresa Giudice is to blame for all the stripper rumors.
Anyway, it's the first day of school and while it would appear that none of the adults have attended that archaic institution for, like, learning, the actual children are all off. Milania is going into kindergarten and Antonia starts first grade.
Poison Gorga is making pancakes and I think the only ingredientzes is Country Crock margarine because they must have showed us about 60 close-up shots of the tub. I wonder if this means the Gorgas are going to be busting out a cookbook and stepping on Chef Tre's toes? Uh-oh! Oh no, wait that's just Kathy Wakile! Because in the whole world only one person at a time can write a cookbook…
In the Giudice house Teresa is rushing around waking up all the girls. She gets out their tutus while Juicy makes lunches – he packed red wine, sausages, salami, and some uncooked pasta noodles – oh, and provolone. I love Milania's tutu! Milania is my homegirl and she's off to terrorize some far less wily 5-year-olds.
Aaaahhh… Real Housewives of New Jersey – just when I thought this season would never end and we'd be trapped in a labyrinth with Melissa Gorga popping up around random corners to sing at us and Teresa Giudice chasing us down calling us "prostitution whore!" comes word that the reunion for the eternal fourth season has filmed.
So there is light at the end of the tunnel. I won't be recapping RHONJ until the end of eternity. To quote a certain NJ lady, "Thank you Jesus!"
Yes, that's right this weekend the RHONJ reunion filmed to insane reviews. Just ask anyone who was there. Taking to twitter the cast reacted to what was surely a PTS inducing nightmare of screaming, accusations, hysteria, and one very afraid and powerless Andy Cohen shrieking randomly for people to shut-up. Oh, Andy… why you so useless?
Aaaahhh… love. Enough to warm the cold, cold heart of this soulless reality TV blogger. In celebration of well, some people's happiness, we've decided to put together a list of our favorite reality TV couples. Trust me – that's a lot harder to do than putting together a list of the couples we can't stand! Stay tuned for that one.
Anyway, MelissatellsRyan: “I’m really excited about this one. I love it, it’s my absolute favorite. I think I have a hit here. There’s a male vocal that comes in on it…I’ve been looking for an opportunity to do something where a male vocal would come in."
Melissa collaborated with Santino Noir who sings on the track. And she also shot her first music video. Somehow I imagine a lot of discount Brittney Spears-esque grinding circa 2002? "I just shot an amazing video for it that’s going to be released next week. So, I’m just excited about the whole thing,” Melissa gushes.
You can hear a clip of I Just Wanna… below. It hits iTunes September 9th! I know what I'm saving my money for…