Good lord last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey was a rare and special breed of ridiculous, wasn't it? So the Gorgadice families went on some silly retreat to put their problems behind them and rebuild. Except it was more passive aggressive blaming and whining from everyone! Yay for something new and exciting.
Things begin over at Casa de Gorga, amid the crumbling faux marble and the collapsing gold-plate archways they are preparing for the big retreat. Melissa Gorga and Poison are doing their vacation dance ritual and getting into the groove by busting some J. Faux moves and encouraging their kids to dance. "Stripper in the house," Poison bellows as his three-year-old twerks, while daddy erratically humps and grinds the air. Yeah! Shake your moneymaker kids. Great parenting…
Antonia helps mommy pack and decides among the must haves are a bible and a stuffed unicorn. Makes sense, unicorns because it would be an absolutely fairy tale to imagine these families getting along. And a bible because you never know who may need an exorcism on a RHONJ trip. All signs point to Teresa!
On last week's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey, Jacqueline gave us more ammunition for thinking she made need sedatives when she freaked out on Teresa Giudice in a boutique and then announced that she thinks Teresa needs an intervention. Um… transference, much?
In her Bravo blogJacqueline laughs off her insanity. Am I the only one who's concerned? But she also talks about how she was feeling at the time and makes some valid points about Teresa's behaviors and motivations. Is the therapy paying off, Jacqs?
On Teresa's Family Issues & The Retreat:
"It just seemed odd to me that, miraculously, Teresa wanted to make an effort to resolve everything with her family, after I had been trying to make that happen for two years prior! Why now? I wasn't buying into the sincerity of it all," Jacqueline begins.
"After this episode, you will clearly see that I have obviously been established as 'the villain' of the season," Kim hints. "I’ll own it proudly! After all, things do just fall into my lap! [;)] " Anything for fame right, Kimmie BePosched?
Oh Real Housewives of New Jersey. I just don't know what to do with you. Like ever. Last night Melissa Gorga was officially accused of cheating by a former BFF who now doesn't like her. And since this is RHONJ some heavy betrayal was involved. Does anyone like Melissa in NJ? What did this girl do to make so many enemies? Did she give a lot of people unwanted sprinkle cookies?
Anyway, there was also talk of a retreat. I need a retreat from this show – am I invited?
Things begin with Wallpaper Wakile having a meeting of the minds in her brand new test kitchen. She's got her mixer all set up in one corner and the entire vast remainder of the industrial kitchen sits unused and empty. Pretty soon Kathy is going to start moving her bed, her dresser, all her clothes, etc in because if there's one things she's realized about ol' test kitchen – it's a great retreat from Richie. And one long overdue.
And speaking of retreats from hubbies, here comes Caroline Manzo. Is Al in the same country as her anymore? Caroline, Jacqueline Laurita, and Rosie the Rampager are meeting to talk about Rosie's big meet-n-drink with Teresa Giudice. Rosie reveals that the pounding on the table severely bruised the cartilage in her hand. Rosie needs serious help. Gross.
The Real Housewives of New Jersey cast has come a long way since their arrival on the reality TV scene back in 2009. You know, back when they were still dressing like NJ housewives and not pageant contestants. For some, the style transformation has been a positive thing and for others..not so much.
Tonight Teresa attempts to prove she's the bigger cannoli by planning a retreat to rebuild her family and end the Gorgadice bickering. Hopefully she can keep her Milania Weave on long enough to avoid any fireworks. We know it's all made for TV drama but it will be nice to see an end to all the fighting!
Our favorite reality TV stars can't get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here's a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
As you'll see in the gallery, The Real Housewives of New Jersey star doesn't stray too far from her fashion comfort zone – and it's worked well for her. Who has time for fashion when there's Tweeting to be done?
Take a look at the gallery and tell us which Jacqueline look you love the best.