Last night Hurricane Jim hit the shores of Florida (well Boca anyway) and he destroyed all Real Housewives Of New Jersey stars in his wake. Teresa Giudice must have had advance notice that dirty secrets were going to be strewn far and wide which is why she stayed home to color pitchurs, mispronounce her own last name, and respond to texes.
Things started out innocently enough. The Florida division of the RHONJ ladies went swampin’ in their most appropriate of appropriate boat shoes: high heels. Those twins – they sure know how to work a look. #sarcasm On the gator farm, Dina Manzo meets her future pet soulmate: a tailless baby alligator whom she smuggles into her purse and clutches for zen-renity (zen serenity) throughout the night’s escapades.
It is well known that Dina is psychic she feels something is about to rock this boat. And Dina has a little inkling its last name is “Marchese” and it has to do with this little secret she was tasked with guarding and protecting. As the group was about to find out, the gators were the least dangerous thing they were to encounter in Florida.
Last night’s episode of Watch What Happens Live was slipped in on the end of the new Real Housewives of New Jersey episode – the one we all thought would be 90 minutes. Annoying. But anyway! Jacqueline Laurita was on along with Rita Wilson and it was a pretty low-key episode. Jacqueline shared some updates on Nick and says he’s doing good and progressing well. The only thing Jacs shared about the show in general was her friendship status with Teresa Giudice.
When Andy asked Jacs how she felt hearing/seeing Teresa saying that she could no longer trust her, she replied, “It wasn’t a surprise because I think I figured it out after we were done taping and we didn’t hang out afterwards. We both had agreed in Arizona that we were going to put our difference aside and we had a choice to either move on with the friendship or we leave it as acquaintances or whatever. We made a pact that we were going to move forward in the friendship and rebuild that and I kept my end and she didn’t.”
Jacqueline, who together with her husband Chris Laurita, filed for bankruptcy via their company Signature Apparel Group in 2009 but creditors accused them of knowingly defrauding creditors while spending a whole buncha so-called company money on themselves. As a result they were sued for $7.8 million dollars. According to reports the couple has now settled the lawsuit to their bankruptcy creditors and if approved by a judge their bankruptcy is over!
Court documents stipulate that Jacqueline, Chris, and a few other siblings including Chris’ brother Joseph, “agree to pay the total gross sum of One Million Dollars ($1,000,000.00)” to the plaintiff.
Jacqueline shared that she has no relationship with Dina – but it’s not her fault.
“Currently there is no relationship between us, but only because she chooses not to have one,” Jacqueline said about Dina. “It’s frustrating because I feel like it’s all petty, nonsense stuff, that all just seems silly and unimportant to me. I have other, more important things to focus on, although, I am always open to reconciliation with people that are willing and sincere.”
Last night the ladies of Real Housewives Of New Jersey headed to Florida, where things were all scary murky foreshadowing and things that go bump in the night – before next week when the ghosts jump out and attack!
Melissa Gorga is euphoric because she left her four children at home in the care of eldest Joe Gorga, who resents babysitting and is just letting the younger kids smack each other and eat junk food while he threatens to break the internet like it was Juicy’s face (we all saw how successful he was at that last season!). Meanwhile mama is getting sauced up under the Florida sun and flaunting what the good doctor gave her. Of course Dina Manzo planned the trip to Boca, where everyone is 80 (or how old Dina acts) and the house looks like something out of “Miami Vice” according to Teresssssa Aprea. She’s used to that – Don Johnson is clearly Rino’s fashion inspiration.
Still, Melissa took to her blog to share her thoughts on the episode, starting with the 9,000-square-foot home Joe Gorga plans to build. “A Joe Gorga house is impeccable,” Joe said on RHONJ. “When you open up those history books and you look in Rome, that’s what I build. I just have that gift. I’m the Michelangelo of New Jersey of building homes.” History books? I think he meant Beaver Habitats For Dummies.
The second half of the new season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey is going to be an explosive one! Shocking, right? This afternoon Bravo released a mid-season trailer to get fans excited about the upcoming episodes and it doesn’t disappoint.
First, we have the return of Jacqueline Laurita. Jacqueline will be there for Teresa Giudice as she faces the outcome and repercussions of pleading guilty to fraud in Federal Court and also to share more about her family’s journey with autism and the struggles (and triumphs) that accompany it.
Teresa deals with the aftermath of pleading guilty and her potential sentencing and also contemplates sending the Giudice head of household, aka Milania, off to boarding school. She’s kidding. We think.