Did I miss something on last night’s Vanderpump Rules? Did James Kennedy admit to hooking up “just a little” with Kristen Doute? Even more curious – did the cameras actually miss James and Kristen drunkenly hooking up?!
What I think I observed was a drunken game of telephone. Or whatever it’s called in the iPhone era. Probably something to do with Snapchatting and then sharing Snaps that were deleted and how you thought you were sexting your boyfriend SUPER ROB when in fact you were sending a disgraced Nigerian prince $300 to get his crown out of hock and on a plane to LA to bar tend into his future at SUR. I mean this could finally be the man for Scheana Marie!
Anyway! Using delightful time lapse, the episode opens hours early with Stassi Schroeder sitting on a beach with Katie Maloney and Kristen. The sand is soft and fuzzy – just like their drink-addled memories from every day the night before.
After two years of keeping the identity of her boyfriend Randall Emmett under wraps and admitting to lying for the sake of his privacy, Lala Kent has opened up about her relationship with her man and her relationship with his two young daughters. That’s right, Lala is a kind of, sort of step-mom.
Aside from gushing over her bliss with Randall, Lala threw some shade at her former BFF and one-time lover James Kennedy and his girlfriend Raquel Leviss. She owned up to her mistakes she’s made on the show and she even gave a status update on her friendship with Scheana Marie.
Every single cast member is really going through it during the current season of Vanderpump Rules. From making out with (and doing even more than that) with people outside of their relationships to arguing about pasta, almost every cast member has done something to instigate some backlash (and meme formation) from the fandom.
That’s why it’s tough to say who is “winning” this season. In a way, this could just go to the person who’s had the least amount of screen time because it would be someone with less opportunity for internationally televised embarrassment. Then again, not getting screen time, wouldn’t qualify as a “win” to most reality stars.
At the beginning of Vanderpump Rules Season 6, James Kennedy’s close friendship with Logan Noh was a hot topic of conversation. Logan admitted to having a crush on James and the two of them had a very affectionate rapport, so it was only a matter of time before the romance rumors started up.
And those rumors actually got started thanks to Logan himself, who drunkenly told Brittany Cartwright’s sister that he and James had been”f-cking.” James was devastated that his best friend resorted to lying to secure a story line about the state of their relationship.
I’m so tired of hearing about Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright‘s pathetic relationship. I’m so tired of it that I’m actually in agreement with Tom Sandoval on the matter: Brittany stupidly chose to stay with Jax knowing he’s a low-down, dirty scoundrel, so leave her alone to stew in her own Kentucky fried juices.
I personally think Brittany loooooves laying on that accent, thick as a beer cheese dipped chicken wing, and playing damsel in distress. Not to the guys – Jax already rescued her from a Hooters farm in ‘tucky – but to the girls on Vanderpump Rules. They see it as their responsibility to rescue Brittany. Maybe because those that can’t do a decent relationship, try to micromanage other’s disaster relationships. Or maybe they know they’re all a lost cause but sweet, innocent Brittany of the slow blinking My Little Pony eyes and Dr. Pepper flavored Bonne Belle chapstick – they can save her from the Jaxing that destroyed Stassi Schroeder and so many before (and during and after) her!
After a very rocky Season 5, things are going a lot better for Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz this year on Vanderpump Rules. Just like everyone else in the cast, they’ve had their own drama to deal with, but that’s utter child’s play in comparison to past seasons with drink throwing, rings on strings, and rage texting.
Even with a significant dip in the Tom and Katie drama, there are other cast members coming through with the public fights this season. We were blessed with James Kennedy and Lala Kent screaming at each other, storming out of a restaurant, and continuing the argument on the sidewalk just because Lala ate some pasta.
Remember in the beginning when the cast of Vanderpump Rules had actual goals? Future careers and the like into which they hoped to nestle once their debauched days at SUR (and their sex appeal) passed? Suddenly Jax Taylor is one of those people – those realists. Except now, instead of it being the right thing, it is oh-so very wrong. Because what of the future of bartending for life on reality TeeVee?
I personally think a spinoff in which Jax ventures out into the real world – getting up for work everyday, pulling his shit together, really working that reiki would be interesting. Apparently I am alone. Because friends before future, bro!
In the SURvile community of Vanderpumpian Forever Kids we are STILL celebrating Jax’s 308th birthday. The leprechaun of eternity has already danced his jig at Hooters, but now Brittany Cartwright, who is just so exasperating, has planned a group trip to Playa del Carmen. Play, play away forever young (at heart) in the Mexican sun. There’s two things wrong with this: 1) Jax doesn’t deserve it. He’s horrible to Brittany; 2) He doesn’t even want to go. Instead he wants to stay in LA and wallow in his midlife crisis. Especially in his reiki instructor’s arms.