This season of the Real Housewives of DC has had a theme, which is the phoniness of the gruesome twosome aka the Salahis. Whether it be the couple’s phony grapes, phony party invites, phony house hunting, and now phony cheerleading. If there’s one thing we have all come to know and “love” about the Salahis, it is that their phoniness knows no bounds.
This episode of the DC Housewives begins with the now separated Ommanneys browsing through photos for Cat’s book cover. The scene starts out as a cute scene between the couple, until Cat decides to ask Charles about his upcoming schedule, which gave us a glimpse into the couple’s marriage. Based on Charles’ schedule, it’s all but obvious these two are lucky to even spend a day a week together. Cat’s definitely not exaggerating when she states she sometimes feels like a single mom.
The hilarity begins in the next scene with the Salahis. We see Michaele shaking her phony pom poms in preparation for the Washington Redskins cheerleading alumni dance routine. Michaele arrives at the practice in a white SUV, and not the awful 80s white stretch limo, thank goodness. Immediately, we see Michaele looking rather lost and completely offbeat while attempting to do the routines. Judging by Michaele’s lack of rhythm, and her overly eager attitude, it’s all but obvious we’re watching a 44-year-old con artist live out her fantasy of being a professional cheerleader.
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The 4th episode of the Real Housewives of DC aired last night, and boy oh boy, did it tell us a lot about the Salahis.
The episode titled The Grape Stomp of Wrath was a perfect foreshadow to what is to come later on this season. I was going to wait until next week to start doing the DC recaps but after watching last night’s episode, I say let’s get right to it!
The episode starts out with Lynda cooking a meal for her family. In the kitchen with her is her younger boytoy boyfriend Ebong Eka. Something about this union just robs me the wrong way. I can’t decide who’s using who. Ebong’s 35 and Lynda’s 52. Lynda also mentioned in a previous episode that she has no desire to get married again or have any more children. At 35, does Ebong have any kids? If not, does he not want any? Has he ever been married? If not, does he not plan on ever marrying?
Is he with her for the money? Is she with him for the arm candy? It just seems like an interesting relationship. A little search on Ebong shows he was raised in Canada, born to Nigerian parents. He is also a Certified Public Accountant with a taste for designer fashion. Nothing out of the norm. Perhaps I’m just reading too much into things, and these are just two adults in a healthy happy genuine relationship. Only time will tell.
Next, we see Stacie having a get together with her sorority sisters. Stacie, who is adopted, explains she has found her birth mother, who just happens to be Caucasian. Stacie also reveals her birth father is of Nigerian nationality, and does not know of her existence. And this scene is a perfect example of why the DC franchise has a bit more substance than the others. Race, politics, and other “controversial” topics don’t seem to be off limit.
Stacie shares that her birth mom wants to keep her a secret and is not willing to tell her who her birth father is. As Stacie tells her story, we see her sorors, who all look very camera ready and aware that this might be on national television, occasionally chime in.
It’s the opening day for Celebrity Hair Stylist Ted Gibson’s DC salon. Mary is very proud of the monumental day, as she is tired of people referring to DC as the “Hollywood for ugly people.” And in case the Ted Gibson name rings a bell, it’s because Ted also happens to be the hair stylist for Kate Gosselin. Michaele makes her entrance and declares her love for Ted, who thanks her for sponsoring the event. Mary however makes in clear in her voice over interview that she is the one responsible for Ted’s big day, and Michaele is only responsible for providing the store bought wine. Something about Mary is giving me Jill Zarin. Will touch more on that later.
As she’s getting her hair washed, Mary chats it up with Ted, and looks for reassurance that she’s still his #1 favorite girl in the whole entire world. The event starts and the other housewives excluding Stacie are in attendance. Cat makes her mandatory rude comments, and we see Lynda chatting it up with Michaele following their not so nice words of exchange in a previous episode. Lynda makes it clear she doesn’t like to hold grudges. “I don’t hold bad energy, it’s just not worth it to me,” says Lynda, who prefers to get her attorneys involved in joking matters.
“It seems like Tareq and Michaele have used their wine as a bit of a bartering system to get into places and to get to know important people,” says Mary, who seems to have a pretty good read on the Salahis. I always find it interesting how certain couples just manage to find one another. You ever know a slimy person, who just happened to marry another equally slimy individual? The Salahis are a good example of this. They just seem made for one another.