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Javi Marroquin

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Last night the ladies of Teen Mom 2 complained a lot, made future plans, and in some cases displayed a delusion so deep the Pacific Ocean way out in California couldn't engulf it. 

Kailyn Lowry is never happy – even when there's cake. Even when there's caramel + cake. She literally is the Snuffleupagus of reality TV. She's stressed by wedding planning and Jo not doing what she wants, then Javi has to go and stress her out more by surprising her with keys to the new house! 

Instead of celebrating, Kail snuffles about how much it would suck if they had to move because of Jo. Say it with me now: should have thought of that BEFORE buying a house! Javi, sweet Javi, marvels that he's twenty, a homeowner, and a father. Say it with me now: Should have thought of that BEFORE hooking up with Kail!

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Last night the ladies of Teen Mom 2 forged ahead – some in a positive direction, some in a delusional direction, and some were just Jenelle Evans who will go in any direction that seems the stupidest at any given time. 

Leah Calvert is still reeling from Ali's diagnosis. The girls are at Corey's for the weekend and she is home alone with Adalynn while Jeremy is working in PA for a month. Three little kids. Alone. A month. I would develop a drinking problem. And yes, I have two little kids. 

Leah's mom comes over to check in and they discuss Ali's future. Leah is positive they'll have to move because their house has too many stairs to accommodate Ali's wheelchair. Leah's mom's heart is broken over the situation. I love this family. I love them so much I forget Leah has a purple muppet wig on her head dangling into her frosted silver eyes. Later Leah tells Jeremy she's found a farm, but it's in a different county, 40 minutes away, but Ali will benefit from equine and water therapy so they want to have a space where she can have a pony. 

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Last night's episode of Teen Mom 2 temporarily humanized our snarkiness as Leah Calvert learned the realities of Ali's muscular dystrophy. 

Kail Lowry heads to an ultrasound appointment sans Javi Marroquin because Jo Rivera won't let her move out of state with Isaac and now she's all allllloneee! Apparently she's been emotionally eating to drown her sorrows because the doctor warns her that gaining a pound and a half per week isn't a good idea. "Lay off the fettuccine alfredo," he instructs. 

Everything looks healthy but Kail is waiting until Javi can be there to find out the sex. Kail calls Javi from the car and complains that she's soooo stressed planning a wedding while pregnant. Maybe postpone the wedding until after you've had the baby then? Just a thought – especially since they're already legally married for the benefits and stuff. 

Then Kail and Jo have a major custody blowup. Kail is now refusing to bring Isaac to Jo's parents' if he's not home. On their custody exchange day, Kail learns from Jo that he's running late so she calls Javi - in front of Isaac – to whine about what a terrible, negligent parent Jo is. Nice Kail.

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Last night the ladies of Teen Mom 2 continued to mope through the agonies of motherhood – well except for Jenelle Evans who promptly stored 'have a child' in the largely non-functioning corner of her brain (right beside 'multiple arrests, including a felony') and went on as if she had not a care in the world. 

Kail Lowry is feuding with Jo over their custody agreement with Isaac. Kail just doesn't see the logic in anyone disagreeing with her, but is meeting in court before a judge. Javi warns her to keep her temper in check. Kail, who spent the day therapeutically painting pottery coasters for the house she hates but is forced to live in because of Jo's selfishness, promises Javi she'll be calm on the stand. 

The two meet in court where Kail is hoping her fabulously constructed donut bun will sway the judge in her favor (her dress is cute, so props for that!), but unfortunately due to a jurisdiction error the case was transferred and now will take a couple more months.

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Ready or not, Teen Mom 2 returns next Tuesday. The fifth (and possibly final) season will follow the huge messy train wreck that is Jenelle Evans, as well as Kailyn Lowry, Chelsea Houska, and Leah Calvert.

Season five will feature Jenelle dealing with husband Courtland Rogers and boyfriend Nathan Griffith, as well as three pregnancies, Chelsea coming to terms with Adam Lind having a second child, and Kail attempting to co-parent with ex-boyfriend Jo Rivera and welcoming a new baby with husband Javi Marroquin. Also, even though Leah and Corey Simms are each remarried to other people now, they come together a lot for the sake of their two girlssesss. 

The Teen Mom 2 cast met up in New York City over the weekend to promote the new season and film their reunion show. Check out a few photos from the weekend below – and a new trailer courtesy of OK! magazine. 

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This year it was a reality TV weddings bonanza! Stars from all walks of the reality TV universe tied the knot in some truly tacky (and some surprisingly gorgeous) ceremonies! 

Thankfully they love to share their love – and any attempt to extend their fifteen minutes, so we also got tons of twitter updates, photos, spinoffs, and bridezilla drama to satiate our palates! 

Above, NeNe Leakes and Gregg wipe the slate clean and go through with this wedding like it's the first time they ever said 'I do!' 

[Photo Credit: Bravo]

CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR THE 2013 REALITY TV WEDDING ROUNDUP! 

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It's a boy for Kailyn Lowry and Javi Marroquin!

The Teen Mom 2 couple welcomed baby boy Lincoln Marshall, who weighed 8 pounds, 6 ounces, Saturday afternoon. Kail chose to keep the baby's gender a secret until he was born.

Kail told Us, "I am exhausted, but we are so excited and surprised by our new baby boy." Baby Lincoln joins big brother Isaac, Kail's son with Jo Rivera

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Kailyn Lowry and Javi Marroquin were married (again) over the weekend. 

Kail married Javi's military benefits last year at the courthouse. "We wanted to have a wedding last year when we were married, but obviously with him in the Air Force, we weren't able to,"  shared Kail.  "Now we got to do it in front of our family and friends." 

This time the Teen Mom 2 couple wed at Adventure Aquarium in Camden, NJ. 

We found only a few pictures of Kail and Javi's big day to share. While most reality TV stars willingly share details and photos of their lives with their fans via Twitter, Kail thinks way too highly of herself and would never stoop so low.

Earlier today, Kail tweeted, "Keep your eyes open this week for my exclusive interviews with In Touch and Life & Style magazines for all your wedding details." Oh yeah, the next time I'm at Target, I'll be sure to buy Kail's wedding exclusives a popcorn and a large soda. #sorrynotsorry

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