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Javi Marroquin

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I'm not sure what MTV is playing at by trying to make Nathan Griffith look decent, but they are failing spectacularly all thanks to one formidable (and awesome!) Barbara Evans!

Babs is rocking her warpaint this season of Teen Mom 2, which means she has hit the MAC counter hard, and she is ready for battle. She is done with Jenelle Evans' deadbeat surgically implanted boobs and excuses and 'I can't pay for my abortion but here's a big screen TeeVee and a beach house and yet another loser boyfriend who is more important than my son.' And don't you just love when Babs puts somebody on blast?!

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Yesterday on Teen Mom 2 there was wedding drama, bad hair, baby daddy drama, and Jenelle Evans continued to be delusional. You know, same old! 

Kailyn Lowry is having wedding drama and is a complete bridezilla. She's also a wifezilla, a babydaddyzilla and probably any other kind of 'zilla you can think of. Combining 'zilla tendencies with Snuffy moping nonsense makes Kail unbearable. Stay off my TV until you've had this baby because you are an emotional wreck, Kailzilla! 

Kail has like 9 bridesmaids – one for each month she's pregnant! – including Javi's sister and his sister's friend. Unfortunately since Javi's family probably doesn't like Kail, Javi's sister and friend aren't super motivated to participate in wedding planning. Why would you have your husband's sister's FRIEND in your bridal party? Weird. Kail claims they don't want to spend any money on wedding stuff and they don't want to do super-fun stuff like sit in someone's kitchen to test hairstyles while Kail Snuffys along. 

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Last night the ladies of Teen Mom 2 complained a lot, made future plans, and in some cases displayed a delusion so deep the Pacific Ocean way out in California couldn't engulf it. 

Kailyn Lowry is never happy – even when there's cake. Even when there's caramel + cake. She literally is the Snuffleupagus of reality TV. She's stressed by wedding planning and Jo not doing what she wants, then Javi has to go and stress her out more by surprising her with keys to the new house! 

Instead of celebrating, Kail snuffles about how much it would suck if they had to move because of Jo. Say it with me now: should have thought of that BEFORE buying a house! Javi, sweet Javi, marvels that he's twenty, a homeowner, and a father. Say it with me now: Should have thought of that BEFORE hooking up with Kail!

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Last night the ladies of Teen Mom 2 forged ahead – some in a positive direction, some in a delusional direction, and some were just Jenelle Evans who will go in any direction that seems the stupidest at any given time. 

Leah Calvert is still reeling from Ali's diagnosis. The girls are at Corey's for the weekend and she is home alone with Adalynn while Jeremy is working in PA for a month. Three little kids. Alone. A month. I would develop a drinking problem. And yes, I have two little kids. 

Leah's mom comes over to check in and they discuss Ali's future. Leah is positive they'll have to move because their house has too many stairs to accommodate Ali's wheelchair. Leah's mom's heart is broken over the situation. I love this family. I love them so much I forget Leah has a purple muppet wig on her head dangling into her frosted silver eyes. Later Leah tells Jeremy she's found a farm, but it's in a different county, 40 minutes away, but Ali will benefit from equine and water therapy so they want to have a space where she can have a pony. 

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Last night's episode of Teen Mom 2 temporarily humanized our snarkiness as Leah Calvert learned the realities of Ali's muscular dystrophy. 

Kail Lowry heads to an ultrasound appointment sans Javi Marroquin because Jo Rivera won't let her move out of state with Isaac and now she's all allllloneee! Apparently she's been emotionally eating to drown her sorrows because the doctor warns her that gaining a pound and a half per week isn't a good idea. "Lay off the fettuccine alfredo," he instructs. 

Everything looks healthy but Kail is waiting until Javi can be there to find out the sex. Kail calls Javi from the car and complains that she's soooo stressed planning a wedding while pregnant. Maybe postpone the wedding until after you've had the baby then? Just a thought – especially since they're already legally married for the benefits and stuff. 

Then Kail and Jo have a major custody blowup. Kail is now refusing to bring Isaac to Jo's parents' if he's not home. On their custody exchange day, Kail learns from Jo that he's running late so she calls Javi - in front of Isaac – to whine about what a terrible, negligent parent Jo is. Nice Kail.

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Last night the ladies of Teen Mom 2 continued to mope through the agonies of motherhood – well except for Jenelle Evans who promptly stored 'have a child' in the largely non-functioning corner of her brain (right beside 'multiple arrests, including a felony') and went on as if she had not a care in the world. 

Kail Lowry is feuding with Jo over their custody agreement with Isaac. Kail just doesn't see the logic in anyone disagreeing with her, but is meeting in court before a judge. Javi warns her to keep her temper in check. Kail, who spent the day therapeutically painting pottery coasters for the house she hates but is forced to live in because of Jo's selfishness, promises Javi she'll be calm on the stand. 

The two meet in court where Kail is hoping her fabulously constructed donut bun will sway the judge in her favor (her dress is cute, so props for that!), but unfortunately due to a jurisdiction error the case was transferred and now will take a couple more months.

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Ready or not, Teen Mom 2 returns next Tuesday. The fifth (and possibly final) season will follow the huge messy train wreck that is Jenelle Evans, as well as Kailyn Lowry, Chelsea Houska, and Leah Calvert.

Season five will feature Jenelle dealing with husband Courtland Rogers and boyfriend Nathan Griffith, as well as three pregnancies, Chelsea coming to terms with Adam Lind having a second child, and Kail attempting to co-parent with ex-boyfriend Jo Rivera and welcoming a new baby with husband Javi Marroquin. Also, even though Leah and Corey Simms are each remarried to other people now, they come together a lot for the sake of their two girlssesss. 

The Teen Mom 2 cast met up in New York City over the weekend to promote the new season and film their reunion show. Check out a few photos from the weekend below – and a new trailer courtesy of OK! magazine. 

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This year it was a reality TV weddings bonanza! Stars from all walks of the reality TV universe tied the knot in some truly tacky (and some surprisingly gorgeous) ceremonies! 

Thankfully they love to share their love – and any attempt to extend their fifteen minutes, so we also got tons of twitter updates, photos, spinoffs, and bridezilla drama to satiate our palates! 

Above, NeNe Leakes and Gregg wipe the slate clean and go through with this wedding like it's the first time they ever said 'I do!' 

[Photo Credit: Bravo]

CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR THE 2013 REALITY TV WEDDING ROUNDUP! 

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