Jax Taylor

Vanderpump Rules recap

Last night’s Vanderpump Rules celebrated Pride, but it was far from the jubilant affair it usually is in light of the Orlando nightclub shooting, which happened the day before.

I’m not sure how to write this recap for a couple reasons: 1) there was a lot of the usual f-ked up SUR drama surrounding Pride and the tragic events; and 2) Tom Sandoval made his ugly cry face but it seems wrong to make fun of it because he was crying about the Orlando tragedy. Conundrum. I also feel bad swooning over how glorious Peter looked. (Cause he did).

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DailyMail.com & Elite Daily Holiday Party

Booze, fools, tons of disasters – if that doesn’t perfectly describe Vanderpump Rules, I don’t know what does. Sadly, all that mess came about because Tom Schwartz decided to unwisely hook his malfunctioning penis to the wheel that’s Katie Maloney and everything spun very far out of control.

“It was a disaster. It was a beautiful mess. That’s how I describe this season, a beautiful disaster,” Tom warns. “It’s a blur in retrospect, but a lot happens.” Jax Taylor agrees, adding, “There’s some crazy stuff that happens.”

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NEW YORK, NY - DECEMBER 07: Dorinda Medley and John Mahdessian attend the DailyMail.com & Elite Daily Holiday Party with Jason Derulo at Vandal on December 7, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Rob Kim/Getty Images for Daily Mail)

It’s an all new edition of reality star sightings!

First up we have several reality stars hitting up the DailyMail holiday party, including Dorinda Medley and John Mahdessian, Ramona Singer, several cast members from Vanderpump Rules, including Lisa Vanderpump and more. And in case you’re wondering where Brittany has been while Jax is in NYC, she’s at home taking care of their new puppy.

Kyle Richards was seen in NYC doing press for the show (or her new series or Celebrity Apprentice or…who knows what exactly! She’s so busy lately!)

In the gallery you’ll also spy Heidi Klum, Courtney Stodden, Bethenny Frankel and more!

James

It’s a topsy-turvy world out there in SUR and last night’s Vanderpump Rules dove into its favorite subjects – cheating and Lisa Vanderpump‘s fabulosity!

Is there anything more confusing than a woman who is not only willing to have sex with James Kennedy, but do the sex in essentially a cot in the corner of his dorm room? Oh yes, there IS something more confusing – that this woman is willing to admit this sex on national television! The bright lights of LVP‘s sparkles reflected by Bravo cameras can cause a girl to lose her mind!

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Vanderpump Rules - Season 5

Lala Kent sat down with Jenny McCarthy to dish on all things Vanderpump Rules – from accusing her castmates of trying to sabotage her career, to the rumors that she’s dating a married man, to why she believes Jax Taylor is unfaithful to Brittany Cartwright!

True to form, Lala doesn’t hold back and isn’t trying to win friends. Carry on then…

First Jenny wonders why the girls seem to have it out for Lala. She thinks they’re jealous because Lala is so pretty, and has a more successful career (she just wrapped filming on a movie with John Cusak and Nicholas Cage.)

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Scheana

High school… these problems matter! These people are in high school like the original cast of 90210 were. Meaning the “kids” on Vanderpump Rules are 30 going on 13, and it’s ridiculous.

Last night, Katie Maloney, Bridezilla of West Hollywood (she may actually just be straight up Godzilla at this point because she does seem to think she’s God), demanded Scheana Marie never, ever have an opinion contrary to Katie’s, like, ever again, and if Scheana does like ever, ever, ever deign to think for herself, she will be dumped like room temperature white wine.

Katie is the one who needs to be bumped – by Tom 2 and everyone else. She and Stassi Schroeder deserve each other.

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Watch What Happens Live

Jax Taylor was a man on a mission – a mission to never get married. Until he met Brittany Cartwright, that is! Now Jax is changing his mind. A little opportunity called a ‘spin-off’ wouldn’t have anything to do with that, would it?

“Before Brittany I was not about marriage. I didn’t believe in marriage,” claims the perpetually cheating Vanderpump Rules star. Now Jax is not only faithful to Brittany (which is apparently more than she can say about herself!), he’s considering settling down for-ev-er.

Didn’t Jax profess his desire to marry Stassi Schroeder more than once? Apparently not, because no amount of love could convince Jax that marriage was for him.

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Tom Schwartz prank

When Tom Schwartz made a steak dinner for Jax Taylor and Tom Sandoval on the last episode of Vanderpump Rules, it just seemed like he was doing a sweet gesture to ask them to be groomsmen in his wedding, but it was actually a nasty prank.

After Tom asked the guys to take part in the wedding, he handed them both big envelopes full of photos that revealed that the steak and shrimp they ate had previously been in-between his butt cheeks. As if that wasn’t gross enough Tom also revealed that he ran that day and did not shower. Eeeeww.

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