Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was a matter of love and death. In the complete and utter trainwreck that is watching Scheana Marie transcend from Stage Five Clinger to total stalker and future subject of Snapped (or her own Lifetime Movie Of The Week). Jax Taylor was literally drowning (*well kinda) but Scheana was drowning in her own delusion and Rob Valetta is not about to be dragged under with her.
Thankfully Rob can swim perfectly, and amazingly, and better than anyone in the whole wide word even Michael Phelps, and he can also save people with his boogey board of life! Just ask Jax!
There was so much relationship dysfunction last night that the thought of looking through a Choose Your Own Designer Vagina catalog seems like the lesser of evils. Yes, that is a thing, but you have to be willing to travel to Thailand to get it installed… Do they make any that are STD resistant?
As much fun as it is to be a Vanderpump Rules fan, it is a major commitment because there is a lot to keep up with. There are so many people in the cast, major plot developments in every single episode, and new rumors that emerge multiple times a day via social media and interviews.
A lot of the reality stars that you love (and love to hate- or at least love to make fun of) were very active on Instagram this week, but don’t worry about refreshing your feed. We have the most interesting photos from the past few days in this week’s edition of Instagram Roundup.
It feels like a lifetime ago since Kristen Doute couldn’t stand being in the same room as Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix. Now everything seems to be copacetic between Kristen, her ex, and his current girlfriend, so much so that she actually wants to get into business with Tom.
Well, not just Tom. Kristen thinks that she has a lot to offer to the Tom Tom restaurant that Lisa Vanderpump is trying to open with Sandoval and Tom Schwartz. That seems like a total stretch considering that Lisa is far from Kristen’s biggest fan, but maybe things change during the rest of the season?
Joining Carl andAndy Cohenin the clubhouse was Vanderpump Rules star Lala Kent. She discussed her newfound friendships with Katie Maloney, Kristen, and Stassi. She even commented on the speculation about James Kennedy and Logan Noh being more than just friends, and all of the other hot topics this season.
Oh man, all season on Vanderpump Rules I have really been loving James Kennedy … Until last night, that is! Down goes the Jack Daniels, and James’ decency follows suit. He was a horrible, ATROCIOUS drunken buffoon to LalaKent and Raquel Leviss when he should have reserved that treatment for Scheana Marie. If only so Rob Valetta could rush in to be knight in shining armor and fix it. I hear he’s good at those sorts of things!
Scheana Marie invited a select group ‘non-assholes’ to Rob’s cabin in Big Bear. After the Toca Madera cheating non-scandal, she’s desperate to prove that some of her non-friends are capable of behaving like decent human beings. Except slim pickings. She can’t invite the Three-Headed SheBeasts who are too busy bedazzling scooters while fake crying apologies after their birthday party breakdowns (plus they started the rumor), so Scheana was forced to choose Jax Taylor and James?! Scheana is a cesspool of failed logic and I really believe all the therapists on this show are being wasted on Jax. Absolutely he is in need, but um… spread the ‘py, because there’s a six car pileup of people needing psychiatric attention.
Unlike some Bravo shows that have lost a bit of their luster (yet we all continue to watch anyway), Vanderpump Rules is bringing it every Monday night. These people are really going through it. There is a new story line every. single. episode. I am just living for it.
The beauty about being on a show with 536,474 people in the cast is that no one should have to reveal too much about themselves. Nevertheless, these people are. Every last one of them is divulging very personal details about their lives-even Ariana Madix has been more private in the past seasons. Now she is discussing the possibility of a friendship with Stassi Schroeder and whether she would want her own spin-off show with Tom Sandoval.
Most of the people who tuned into the last episode of Vanderpump Rules got some secondhand embarrassment for Stassi Schroeder thanks to her now-ex-boyfriend Patrick Meagher. She admitted that he blocked her on everything so she would not “bother” him during his trip to Amsterdam. Who blocks his girlfriend to enjoy a vacation? The strong personality that we saw for years on this show was getting pushed around by this douche bag with a straggly man bun and it made me uncomfortable. Where was the Stassi that we have watched for years?!
Even worse, Patrick said he didn’t care if she had sex with other guys as long as she didn’t have an emotional connection with them – at her birthday party, surrounded by her close friends and family. Who does that!? Love Stassi or not, it was hard to watch and not be infuriated on her behalf. Thankfully, Stassi was on Watch What Happens Live the same night that Vanderpump Rules episode aired and confirmed that she has a new man in her life.