Jax laughs during a clip of Kristen saying that the night she and Brittany kissed was a blur, but he is going to refrain from commenting because he keeps getting himself in trouble over it. “Listen, whether it did or did not happen, it’s in the past. I was more mad because I couldn’t get into the house! I was so mad, trying to call Brittany, I was coming home from SUR, I had a couple drinks and I was just angry because she wasn’t answering her phone. So when I got in, I could care less if she was sleeping with girls or not, I was just so mad because I couldn’t get in the house, so I kind of took it out on her. What I saw really didn’t help but..”
Welcome back to Vanderpump Rules, where people miraculously age in reverse – but only in their personalities and maturity levels.
Despite our year-long hiatus, little has changed at SUR, the illustrious sur-vers and their counterparts. Kristen Doute and Stassi Schroeder are back in the full-time rotation, to reign supreme over the dysfunction, with Scheana Marie and Katie Maloney their tittering accomplices. Tom 2 is a mere accessory to their life of crime, the teeny dog shoved in a purse to nip and yap occasionally. And everybody still hates Lala Kent!
I don’t know guys – are we really in for another season of mean girls justifying their own behavior by calling the other person mean? It’s like Vanderpump Rules is just an audition for Real Housewives, a job Stassi presumably believes will be hers as soon as she convinces a Hollywood mogul, or rich business man to marry her. Maybe when Lala’s ‘boyfriend,’ the married guy with 35,022 kids who is passing out free Range Rovers on Halloween, ditches that wife of his Stassi can swoop right in?
What did Lisa think of Tom Sandoval‘s new highlighted hair? “I didn’t like it.” Andy then plays a Kristen montage and asks Lisa if Kristen will ever be able to convince people that she isn’t psycho? “I don’t know, I think we’ve got too much evidence that she is.” Will Kristen’s relationship go the distance? “It’s gone on a lot longer than we thought, right? But I mean we have a little hiccup this episode, isn’t that kind of relevant?”
Vanderpump Rules returns for its fifth season tonight. That means we’ve endured four seasons of binge drinking, bar fighting, cheating scandals, bad boyfriending, bad girlfriending, bad friending, b’atrocious fashions from bad employees who are slinging shots while slinging mud whilst trying Lisa Vanderpump‘s patience! But success tastes like a Pumptini after a long day at Bravo, so before we head into season five – which promises another wedding with another bad wedding gown – let’s refresh our drink-addled memories with a toast to all the craziness from last season!
Because as unrealistic as it is to imagine 30-something bartenders and waitresses who have not evolved at all in their lives and are still bickering over the same puerile topics, we’re all kinda obsessed with the show. Below is a rundown of Vanderpump Rules biggest dramas and scandals from season 4!
Whenever I watch Vanderpump Rules, I can’t help wondering how they always party so hard. I would love to see what it’s like going with the cast. I have no idea if I would actually survive, but I am genuinely curious. Well now people in New York City have a chance to go out with the SUR staff during a bar crawl.
Wait. What? This is a dream come true. I just keep flashing back to Season 1 when Jax Taylor showed up to an event and immediately took seven shots. There have been so many drunken antics on that show. I would die to be a part of or merely witness it all go down in person.