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Jeremy Calvert

Jenelle Evans Gets Ultrasound

On last night's episode of Teen Mom 2 relationships changed, promises were made and marriages may have broken. 

Jenelle Evans is on the pregnancy wagon again. After 16 seconds of dating, 14 seconds of them spent trying to get pregnant, she has finally conceived the spawn of Nathan Griffith: Instagram underwear model, timeshare hawker, and DUI accomplisher and now BIBLE reader. Nathan is dressed like Ned Flanders and staring listlessly at the Bible when Jenelle shoves a positive pregnancy test in his face. He labors over the screen for some time trying to figure out what it says before it dawns on him – he's gonna be a daddy. Again. 

"Are you happy?" Jenelle monotones, expressionless. Nathan is overjoyed – he just has to get through the next nine months and 18 years of paychecks are his! He picks Jenelle up (barely) and spins her around, dollar signs flash in his eyes. To celebrate he dyes his hair platinum blonde. 

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Teen Mom 2 Jeremy Leah Calvert

Leah Calvert is not happy unless she has something to complain about – and Jeremy Calvert's job is the current thorn in her side.

In case you're unfamiliar with the Teen Mom 2 stars, Jeremy is Leah's hubby. He has an excellent paying job – albeit away from home – and he had a chance to make $40,000 in five weeks on the most recent episode.  Instead of being grateful, Leah chastised Jeremy for not putting his family first. Yes, he works a dangerous job to pay for the three kids, one with special needs/medical bills, new house, horse farm, new cars, endless trips to the salon, etc., but he is not putting them first. Leah wants Jeremy at home so she can nag at him 24/7.

Following the episode, Leah took to social media to address the backlash and deny divorce rumors. 

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Chelsea Houska Graduates Teen Mom 2

Last night on Teen Mom 2, some girls celebrated happily wedded bliss (again) and other girls headed towards happily unwedded unbliss (again) and some girls cried all the way home from jail (again). 

Let's start and end with a positive! To start, Chelsea Houska finally accomplished something other than dumping Adam Lind. Which speaking of positives: he was NOT presents on last night's episode. Go, MTV! Anyway, Chelsea graduated with her 600 hour aesthetics certificate and is on her way to getting her very first job. "I know I had Aubree young, but I've still accomplished what I wanted," Chelsea says. Good for her. 

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tm2-recap-leah

On last night's episode of Teen Mom 2, relationships were put to the test and bacon caused a marital breakdown. 

Leah Calvert has made nagging and whining a full-time job. Usually I like Leah – aside from that mop of crazy she insists is hair (we don't believe you, member of the Dolly Pardon Wig Club!) – but last night she was working my last nerve. Look girl from WV, you can't have you pepperoni roll and eat it too!

Five minutes after the twins go to Corey Simms' for his weekend, Jeremy surprises Leah by letting her know he's headed to PA to work for a couple weeks. Leah is not happy. She tells Corey his job makes her feel like a single mother and that while he's gone she gets really overwhelmed. She's also frustrated that he doesn't validate her feelings by listening to an extended whiny-fest about how haaaaard lyyyyyyfe eees when he's gone. She thinks they should go to counseling to strengthen their marriage, but Jeremy is against it. He ain't payin' nobody his hard-earned money to tell him what's wrong with him. 

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tm2-recap-jenelle

I'm not sure what MTV is playing at by trying to make Nathan Griffith look decent, but they are failing spectacularly all thanks to one formidable (and awesome!) Barbara Evans!

Babs is rocking her warpaint this season of Teen Mom 2, which means she has hit the MAC counter hard, and she is ready for battle. She is done with Jenelle Evans' deadbeat surgically implanted boobs and excuses and 'I can't pay for my abortion but here's a big screen TeeVee and a beach house and yet another loser boyfriend who is more important than my son.' And don't you just love when Babs puts somebody on blast?!

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tm2-recap-adam-paislee-aubree

Yesterday on Teen Mom 2 there was wedding drama, bad hair, baby daddy drama, and Jenelle Evans continued to be delusional. You know, same old! 

Kailyn Lowry is having wedding drama and is a complete bridezilla. She's also a wifezilla, a babydaddyzilla and probably any other kind of 'zilla you can think of. Combining 'zilla tendencies with Snuffy moping nonsense makes Kail unbearable. Stay off my TV until you've had this baby because you are an emotional wreck, Kailzilla! 

Kail has like 9 bridesmaids – one for each month she's pregnant! – including Javi's sister and his sister's friend. Unfortunately since Javi's family probably doesn't like Kail, Javi's sister and friend aren't super motivated to participate in wedding planning. Why would you have your husband's sister's FRIEND in your bridal party? Weird. Kail claims they don't want to spend any money on wedding stuff and they don't want to do super-fun stuff like sit in someone's kitchen to test hairstyles while Kail Snuffys along. 

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tm2-recap

Last night Teen Mom 2 seriously churned my stomach. Thanks Jenelle Evans!

While everyone else appears to be growing up, planning for the future and attempting to compromise (albeit accompanied by hysterical sobbing), Jenelle gets stupider by the day. Instead of ultrasounds she needs a brainscan for this amazing condition she's developed of never being able to make a rational choice - EVER! 

So let's start with Jenelle, shall we. Get your barf bag ready! 

Jenelle just took a pregnancy test and it said "pregnant!".  Babs is teaching Jace to count while Jenelle is scrutinizing the pregnancy test trying to count the lines – one is a very faint pink. Her friend Tori (of the bright red hair) is there to deliver the Come To Jesus lecture and help Jenelle decipher the test. As if Jenelle who's been pregnant as many times as Michelle Duggar can't figure this out. Maybe the second pink line is caused by the reflection of Tori's hair?

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teen-mom-2-jenelle

Last night the ladies of Teen Mom 2 complained a lot, made future plans, and in some cases displayed a delusion so deep the Pacific Ocean way out in California couldn't engulf it. 

Kailyn Lowry is never happy – even when there's cake. Even when there's caramel + cake. She literally is the Snuffleupagus of reality TV. She's stressed by wedding planning and Jo not doing what she wants, then Javi has to go and stress her out more by surprising her with keys to the new house! 

Instead of celebrating, Kail snuffles about how much it would suck if they had to move because of Jo. Say it with me now: should have thought of that BEFORE buying a house! Javi, sweet Javi, marvels that he's twenty, a homeowner, and a father. Say it with me now: Should have thought of that BEFORE hooking up with Kail!

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