Jersey Shore Recaps

Jersey Shore Recap: Snooki’s Kucka Hits the Cobblestone, Jionni Hits Road

by Lauren on September 23rd, 2011

On last night’s Jersey Shore, there was a guido/gorilla break up of juicehead proportions. Kuckas were flashed, tears were shed, screams were heard ’round Italia. It was pretty epic.

We rejoin the meatballs post-wreck. If Snooki thinks that this is the worst thing to happen to her while she’s in Italy, she needs only to wait a few days! Snooki gets a breathalyzer, and because she doesn’t have her license, she and Deena are being carted off by the Italian police. The guys arrive with her license just in time to see the house car being towed. The boys spend two hours in the waiting room at the station before they are able to free the meatballs.

Once home, Snooki calls Jionni to tell him of her recent escapades. Jionni tells her that Roger can’t come any more because he has to work. Snooki relays the news to JWoww, and she calls Roger very upset. It seems Roger’s leave from work has been denied. I think there has to be more to it, but I want to like the Roger I met at the shore.

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Jersey Shore Recap: Meatballs With a Side of Les-agna

by Lauren on September 16th, 2011

You can thank MTV for that lovely and not at all offense reference to Italian food and lesbians. Always keeping it classy, the gang on last night’s Jersey Shore takes a road trip to the Italian shore. Basically the entire cast plays supporting characters, while the stars of the ~~porn~~ episode are everyone’s favorite drunken meatballs, Snooki and Deena.

Ronnie, Snooki and Jenni head to work at the pizza parlor. JWoww and Rawn try to apologize for the previous night’s intervention while still insisting that Snooki deserves to enjoy her time in Italy. Ronnie’s job is yelling at potential patrons from the sidewalk with a megaphone. Their boss gives them a break to go shopping for their beach trip to Vertronni. Seriously, where? I can’t understand what they are saying.

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Jersey Shore Recap: F.P.C. (Fist pump. Push up. Chapstick) Enough Said

by Lauren on September 9th, 2011

Last night was Jersday for all you Jersey Shore fanatics (no shame in that game!). Mike is slightly immobile, Rawn and Sam get back together (no I’m not re-recapping last week), Pauly and Vin make fun of juiceheads who are juicier than themselves, and Snooki’s relationship with Jionni leaves the house up at arms.

So Mike will be sporting the neck brace for ten days, and it’s quite a situation as it’s rendered him unable to GTL. The horror! After Ronnie tore the house apart and shattered what (if any) was left of Sammi’s self-esteem and dignity the night before, he goes to her in the morning to profess his love. He hopes she’ll let him talk to her later. I am overwhelmed at his maturity…this relationship just may make it after all. They are so cute together and when it’s good, it’s great! In other news, I wish there was a sarcasm font.

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Jersey Shore Recap: Roid Rage Part Deux–Watch Out for that Wall!

by Lauren on August 29th, 2011

It’s like Christmas, Jersey Shore style with two new episodes airing within 72 hours of one another. And of course, MTV needs to capitalize on the VMAs by finishing the Rawn/Mike smackdown right before the awards show airs. Brilliant.

The show begins with Sammi stupidly placing herself between a roided Rawn and a flipping out crazy insane Situation. Mike loses it and slams his head into the concrete wall before crumbling to the ground. Intelligence just abounds on this show. JWoww attempts to get some sort of reaction from a dazed and confused Mike, while the ever gentlemanly Rawn mocks Sammi’s tears and blames her for not telling him about Mike’s gossip sooner. “Stawp Rawn!” Poor Sammi is able to get out the way before being manhandled by her sensitive (ex) boyfriend.

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Jersey Shore Recap: Double the Pleasure, Double the Drunk

by Lauren on August 19th, 2011

Jersey Shore’s “Twinning” aired last night with Mike winning twins. He loses one to Deena while losing his friendship with Snooks. Rawn and Sam make-up, while Vinny and Pauly, as always, entertain the masses.

The episode starts out with Florida chick trying to find her clothes while the Situation tries to find her a cab. Mike gets distracted on his way to the phone and feels the need to nap on the patio furniture where he proceeds to get attacked by a pigeon. Not once, but twice. How can you not believe in karma?

Ronnie can’t believe that after three seasons of this mess, he is just now realizing how alike he and Snooki are. They are both DTWO (down to work out), DTD (down to drink), DTP (down to party), and DTHAGT (down to have a good time)…I assume that DTF is implied, although hopefully not with each other. Neither are DTRAM (down to read a map) so when they can’t find the gym, the pair opts for cocktails at a local bistro. Snooki seems to be the only one in the house who hope Rawn and Sam reconcile because the drama Snooks brings pales in comparison to their relationship.

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