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Jersey Shore

Last night’s episode of Jersey Shore was a hot mess of Mike hate and meatball madness. Pauly D manages to avoid Deena’s advances for “the sex,” while JWoww and Sam relish in their new found (and slightly surprising, given past seasons) friendship.

We rejoin the group with Snooki on the phone with Jionni discussing her smush session with Vinny. Jionni is pissed and Snooki is fanning her face to dry up her tears and while cocking her pink sequined ball cap to the side like a rapper. Jionni can’t handle her news, but he’s willing to continue talking to her. After they hang up, Vinny asks if Snooks wants to cuddle with him to make her feel better. He’s too funny.

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On last night’s episode of Jersey Shore, the girls and guys take separate mini-vacays. Things are off-again-on-again for Snooki with both her boyfriend Jionni and her biffle JWoww. The Situation stirs the pot, and Pauly D sits back and watches it all like he’s on my couch watching with me. I actually think that would be a blast!

Snooki wakes up discombobulated in Vinny’s bed, and she goes to wake up JWoww at the chipper hour of 7am. Jenni doesn’t know where Snooks slept, but Snooki reveals in her confessional that she would never cheat on Jionni. In fact, she specifically remembers telling him “we’re done” before hopping into Vin’s bed. JWoww reluctantly gets up and fills Nicole in on how she defended her to Mike the previous night.

Mike wanders into the ladies’ room after hearing a lot of yelling. Snooki starts screaming at him. Perhaps the lady protests too much. Snooki and JWoww head out for a breakfast of mimosas, and Mike calls his friend Unit (seriously?) who was diddling Ryder on the night in question. The Situation wants to make sure he didn’t make up the sexcapades in his head. Unit confirms Mike’s version of the story. Over their champagne brunch, Snooki admits to JWoww that she hooked up with Vinny but that they didn’t smush….that she remembers.

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Last night’s Jersey Shore was one hot mess of tears, douchiness, sex, and some absolutely horrible boots. The whole thing was just A. LOT.

Snooki wakes up the next day after Jionni leaves feeling awful, and still sporting her hot pink leopard swimsuit. Pauly D, along with Rawn and Deena, head to work, and Pauly is trying to be as loud and annoying as possible to exasperate his roommates’ hangovers.

Back at the villa, Snooki can’t get in touch with Jionni so she seeks the advice of her BFF JWoww. Unfortunately for Snooki, Jenni wasn’t blackout wasted the night before and she remembers all the kind and loving things her friend screamed at her in the streets. She decides to sleep in and ignore Snooki’s whining. Undeterred, Snooki puts on a hoodie (or is that a dress?) and her Ewok boots to go out day drinking alone. That is always a great idea!

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It’s like Christmas, Jersey Shore style with two new episodes airing within 72 hours of one another. And of course, MTV needs to capitalize on the VMAs by finishing the Rawn/Mike smackdown right before the awards show airs. Brilliant.

The show begins with Sammi stupidly placing herself between a roided Rawn and a flipping out crazy insane Situation. Mike loses it and slams his head into the concrete wall before crumbling to the ground. Intelligence just abounds on this show. JWoww attempts to get some sort of reaction from a dazed and confused Mike, while the ever gentlemanly Rawn mocks Sammi’s tears and blames her for not telling him about Mike’s gossip sooner. “Stawp Rawn!” Poor Sammi is able to get out the way before being manhandled by her sensitive (ex) boyfriend.

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Last night’s Jersey Shore was everything it should be and more. Oh so much more. There was a lot of cursing, a lot of falling, and a lot of inappropriate sausage references. Viva Italia and God bless the Shore.

Episode two of the new season, starts off where else? In the clerb. With the roommates watching, Deena lays one on Pauly D, and there is way more tongue than I need to see. She eats off his bottom lip and reveals her plans to have him as a cuddle buddy that night in hopes of gaining his Italian sausage later in the trip. Is it weird that when that time finally comes, I hope Pauly D comes bounding into the smush room singing “Saus-sege is heeya!” A girl can dream, right? Snooki, on the other hand, isn’t liking the Situation she’s in…you know, the one where the Situation keeps groping her.

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Well if you’re in the mood for some salacious Jersey Shore gossip, here’s your chance!

RumorFix is asserting Jersey Shore’s most-hated, Angelina Pivarnick, may have faked her pregnancy for attention, according to those “closest” to the reality star. Oh, dear…

CMT’s Sweet Home Alabama star Jeff Miranda, who once dated Angelina and appeared on Jersey Shore, comments: “The was no baby. She did it for publicity.” Ouch! Jeff continues: “People have told her that her time is up — she’s trying to keep her face in the press.”

Another source, who claims to be close to Angelina, further revealed: “I think she missed her period and started panicking thinking she was pregnant. Word got out. Then awhile later she got her period and she was stuck in a lie.” Nice friends you got there, Ang!

Angelina, who recently appeared on the Father Albert Show (what!?) to accuse the media and ex-finance Dave Kovacs of causing her miscarriage due to invasion of privacy and negligence, repeatedly declined RumorFix’s requests for an interview responding to the story.

Instead she took to her Twitter feed (where else?) to denounce the story: “Hmmmm guess I was never pregnantt!!!!@RumorFix @jeffmiranda. Gooooo fuck urselves!!!! http://twitpic.com/5wxuvl” Included in the Tweet is photographic “proof” in the form of a positive pregnancy test.

A photo of the positive test is below. Angelina further called out Jeff Miranda for his Jersey Shore aspirations, Tweeting: “I LOVE how ppl lie!!!!!! Hahahahahhaha. What a loser!!! Like he was ever even a jersey shore cast member!!! @jeffmiranda. Goooo fuck urself” No comment from alleged father Dave Kovacs – yet!

Do you think Angelina may have “faked” her pregnancy for publicity? Do you think Jeff Miranda was out of line to speak to the press about the situation?

Forget the grenade whistle, sound the litigation trombone! As Jersey Shore progresses, the gorilla juicehead gang seems to be more about lawsuits than bathing suits. The Situation finally comes to a resolution with his estranged father, but Pauly D has been strapped with a lawsuit to the tune of millions of dollars. It’s a total GTL situation: Guidos Turned Litigants. Hey-oh!

It seems Mike Sorrentino’s recent Situation with his father has become a lot more civil. You may recall the older Sorrentino was basically exploiting his son and using his son’s fame and popularity to gain notoriety and some extra cash with his website TheConfrontationSite.com. So wrong. If I were Mike, I’d be calling my dad the “Bitchuation” but that’s just me. Luckily, according to TMZ, the lawsuit Sitch brought against his father with claims of using the star’s name, image and likeness without permission is being dismissed much like a grenade after a late night hot tub session.

Frank Sorrentino was sued by his son after creating a website, now defunct, which bashed the Sitch. Frank believes he was the victim of a con artist, Robert Fletcher, who hoped to capitalize on the Sorrentino’s rocky father-son relationship. Frank is apologetic and claims, “I regret getting involved with Robert Fletcher and I am sorry that I participated, to the detriment of my son Michael.” It’s worth noting that the terms of the settlement required Fletcher to pay Mike $5000 while his father got off scott free with just an apology. Blood is apparently thicker than water at the Shore.

Meanwhile, DJ “Pauly DDelvecchio finds himself in $4 million worth of legal woes. The New York Post is reporting that Paul Lis, a DJ out of Connecticut, is suing Pauly D for his part in damaging his business. Years before Pauly D was lugging cases of Aqua Net across the turnpike, Lis had trademarked the name “DJ Paulie.” After forty years in the disc jockey industry, Lis claims that the Jersey Shore information with which MTV flooded (and continues to flood) the internet has made it a virtual impossibility (literally…bad pun) for potential advertisers and clients to find his site. Lis’ attorney elaborates, “He formally trademarked the name ‘DJ Paulie’ and then came the ‘Jersey Shore’ which basically wiped him off the face of the map.”

Lis has even sent a cease and desist letter to the network but got no response. During this time, Pauly D has applied with the United States Patent and Trademark Office to secure a copyright for his name, claiming it’s a very different business and there is no chance for likelihood of confusion with the original Paulie’s registered moniker. Shockingly, Pauly 2.0′s multiple applications were denied. As someone schooled in the excitement that is trademark law, I can say the USPTO doesn’t often deny applications for no reason.

Lis’ suit reaches beyond Pauly D to the deeper pockets of Delveccio’s employers, MTV and The Palms Resort and Casino in Las Vegas, claiming that by employing the young high-haired DJ, the entities are further burying the original Paulie’s name and livelihood. The allegations in the complaint assert that “[t]he reality television show [follows] a group of young adults pursuing a debauched lifestyle suggestive of loose morals, violence, intoxication and liberal profanity — the exact opposite of the reputation the Plaintiff, ‘DJ Paulie’ that[sic] he had spent decades cultivating.”

While I’m thrilled to report that the Situation and his father have buried the hatchet, I have just one word of advice for Pauly D. Give up your dream of being the next big DJ. Forget DTF (Dudes Trademarking Falsities) and RUN, don’t walk, to the USPTO to copyright “Cabs ah he-ah” and “T-shirt time.” Just putting those phrases on t-shirts, license plates and Mardi Gras trumpets will keep you comfortable, coiffed and hot-tubbed for the rest of your life.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE SITUATION SETTLING HIS DISPUTE WITH DEAR OLD DAD? DO YOU THINK DJ PAULIE’S LAWSUIT HAS ANY MERIT AGAINST DJ PAULY D?

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Even though a lot of people don’t seem to be fans of MTVs controversial show Jersey Shore, the ratings still continue to rise. Some companies including Domino’s and Dell have pulled their advertising, reports Usmagazine. However, one of the stars of the show isn’t keeping quiet amidst all the controversy, instead the Jersey Shore star Nicole Polizzi (a.k.a. “Snooki“) is saying people who aren’t interested in watching the show should stay away.

“I just have one thing to say to Domino’s, Dell, UNICO and all the other haters out there,” she yelled. “F*** you! If you don’t want to watch, don’t watch. Just shut the hell up! I’m serious… F*** you!”

The controversial MTV reality show follows a group of 20 something year old Italians as they live and work on the Garden State’s shoreline. The Italian-American organization (UNICO) claims that the show perpetuates negative stereotypes and should be pulled off the air. They also want sponsors to boycott the series.

“She is not an embarrassment to Italian Americans — she is actually an embarrassment to the entire human race!!!!” UNICO released in a statement.

In addition to UNICO and advertisers bashing the MTV series, the New Jersey beach town also released a statement saying it doesn’t “solicit” or “promote” the filming of Jersey Shore.

One thing is for sure, if ratings continue to increase like they have then this shore isn’t going off the air anytime soon.

In other news, the Jersey Shore cast received a makeover from Life&Style magazine. The photo of the cast is below –

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