It’s that time again, where the Shahs of Sunset gather around a large spread of food and rip each other to shreds. If I were to sum up part one of this reunion, in a few words, it would be: evil eyes, extramarital affairs, and hair extensions. So. Many. Extensions. Asa Soltan Rahmati isn’t wearing them but she made up for her lack of fake hair in about sixty pounds of tacky jewelry.
Carole gushes over the Shahs of Sunset, “It is authentic; it is real. You guys really love each other, and when you hate each other, you really hate. It is the difference between great reality and…” MJ interjects, “Fluff.”
Andy plays the “Gloating while Boating” clip of Luann de Lesseps for Carole. Carole says she has never seen Luann happier. MJ, who is just as incapable of keeping her mouth shut as she is of keeping her boobs inside her clothing, says Luann is way over the top with the whole relationship. Carole admits she’s a little bit over the top, but adds, “But it was actually really sweet.”
The Shahs of Sunset reunion kicks off tonight and if the preview clips are any indication, I’m going to need lots of wine to get through it.
The reunion starts off with Mike Shouhed discussing his split from Jessica Parido. Andy brings up the nasty TweetsReza Farahan and MJ Javid both sent to Jessica once she went public (on social media) with a new guy. They both feel that Jessica thought Mike was going to be her gravy train (hahaha, as if!) and call her a gold digger. You gotta love how hard they’re trying to make us forget that Jessica left him because he’s a cheater.
If you thought this season of Shahs of Sunset was all about divorce drama and questioning someone’s health status, you are in the same cynical boat I’m in. But Shahs isn’t all doom and gloom and this episode (sort of) proves it with the perfect formula to rally bored reality show fans everywhere: an overly staged marriage proposal! OK, I still have to be mostly cynical when watching; it’s just the nature of the beast.
We start at Mercedes “MJ” Javid’s condo, where she is busy tidying up her clothing racks so she can have a yard sale. Shervin Roohparvar comes to watch, presumably because he has nothing better to do all day and hasn’t fulfilled his camera time for the week. MJ explains that she needs to make more room for boyfriend, Tommy Feight, who I thought was already moved in anyway? She goes through the hangers and takes us for a long walk down sad memory lane and describes how her clothes remind her of times in her life. Like the time she wore this dress, Vida was berating her at a table full of people and making her cry. Yeah, probably time to get rid of that one.
Tonight, Shahs of Sunset finally gave us all a much needed break from all the arguing and drunken booze-festing that our Shahs are known for. Instead of talking about illness and who is being a loyal friend, there was a lot of talk about personal growth and shoes. How do those things tie together? They don’t but never mind that, let’s pretend they do.
Reza Farahan goes to lunch with his mom. She’s thrilled about his recent marriage to Adam Neely. Despite her conservative upbringing, all she cares about is Reza being happy and besides, she loves Adam too. Reza wants her to come to Oklahoma to meet Adam’s family and she politely declines, saying she has been there once. I guess that was enough. Reza gets emotional just talking about how much he loves his mom and this is a really nice change of pace for Reza – he should do more bonding with his mother and less being a terrible friend to pretty much everyone.
OK, Shahs of Sunset fans (and haters), we had one whole week to recover from Mike Shouhed finally admitting to cheating on estranged wife, Jessica Parido, during vacation in Belize with the rest of the Shahs. While none of us viewers were really surprised, I wasn’t sure how this would play out on the show and was a little annoyed at Bravo for making me wait a whole additional week to find out. As if the local fireworks were even close to as entertaining as the fireworks going off within this group of numnuts!
As we rejoin the Shahs in Belize the next morning, Asa Soltan Rahmati and Reza Farahan are catching up on how the night ended. Asa reveals that after seeing Mike unravel, she went out clubbing with GG Gharachedaghi and Shervin Roohparvar, dancing until the wee morning hours. This fuels Reza’s assumption that GG is faking her rheumatoid arthritis. He’s also not done being two-faced and meddling in Mike’s marital business and slimes his way over to Mike’s room to tell him that he supports him. Mike falls for the fakeness and expresses gratitude that his friends are always there for him, even in bad times.