Jim Bellino

It honestly may be Christmas in June. Thank you Real Housewives of Orange County!  A little nugget known as Jim Bellino’s chin blog has officially made my day.  In excerpts from a post written at the beginning of May, he interviews himself.  It’s brilliant.  Technically, he’s not the one who generated the questions, but he’s certainly answering them in pure Jimbo fashion.

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Alexis Bellino is everybody’s favorite ditzy, delusional, hypocritical Jesus Barbie and together with her husband Jim Bellino they have provided countless hours of amusement to us fans. Well, unfortunately, that may soon come to an end!

LA Late News is reporting that Jim and Alexis may be leaving Real Housewives of Orange County! Which would break my heart, I swear it! Jim has been repeatedly negative about the show: refusing to film, then refusing to appear with the other women on the show, then agreeing to film in diminished capacity while doing a weekly blog speaking out against the editing, the storylines, and the other Housewives.

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County it was all about Gretchen Christine. She’s got a zillion careers. One of them, is unfortunately singing, which she can’t actually do, and another one is dating Slade Smiley, which is really just an unnecessary side-job she should quit.

Well, Gretchen Christine is quite the fair-weather friend isn’t she? So, she arrives at Alexis Bellino‘s latest rent-a-mcmansion and plops her Gretchen Christine handbag on the counter and starts doing the QVC descriptor hands over the intricately designed leatherette flower, while Lex oooohhhs and aaaahhhs. This is taking the Bravo Home Shopping Network a touch too far. Quick question: Anybody out there sporting one of those jalopies? Yeah, didn’t think so!

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On Tuesday’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County, viewers were reminded of how delusional Alexis Bellino is with her Katie Kourig-ing, and why they don’t like Jim Bellino one bit! Well, now the Bible thumping couple is speaking out in defense of their marriage and insisting they’re right with each other and the teachings of Jesus.

Taking to his own blog, created purely to dispel the myth of Bravo editing (which is why he supposedly stopped appearing on the show in the first place), Jim explains that his marriage is actually very balanced and supportive.

“This dinner was more than two hours long, but what viewers will see is a two-minute segment put together for TV that doesn’t really show you the in-depth conversation and the detailed discourse that was had,” Jim begins. Adding that while he is “no theologian” the bible evokes that “a husband and wife shall be like-minded in life’s journey.”

“As the head of the household, I know that ultimately it is my responsibility to ensure that balance is always a priority, and that’s exactly what I was thinking about during my dinner with Alexis.” (Bolded By Jim for dramatic effect!). And Jim says his scrutiny over Alexis’ schedule was purely out of concern for her happiness.

“If you looked up one morning to find that your wife had three jobs and was running two companies, would you not want to address it with her, out of concern that she may become overwhelmed?;” he wonders. “Alexis is her own person, and I am not married to her to decide what challenges she takes up—I am here as her partner in marriage and in life to remind her of the big picture, just as she does for me.”

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County, Tamra Barney got her titties (not to be confused with tits) reduced, Vicki Gunvalson ran like the devil from a white trash harlot itching for a fight. Gretchen Rossi‘s singing caused me to pause the television so I could belly laugh for approximately five minutes. And Heather Dubrow hosted a bowling party … which got quite dramatic.

Things start out with our fair maiden Tamra visiting the manor atop a hill overlooking the sea. No this isn’t Once Upon A Time, it’s still RHOC and Tamra is merely visiting Heather‘s house. She muses about the view while gulping over the sheer abundance. See, unlike the ladies of RHOBH Tamra isn’t used to such opulence or actual wealth.

Heather calms Tammie Sue down by pouring wine down her throat and then announces she is hosting a bowling and champs party. Except champs is pronounced shamps. Heather finds this to be a clever thing to do and is quite amused with herself for coming up with another unconventional party to keep the ladies on their toes. She loves mixing the up with the down and the fun with the irregular – like taking a helicopter to LA for the day, for instance. She cited that as an actual example.

Heather reveals her true motivation is not to show off her quirky, yet classy, party planning techniques but to get the girls together to mend fences. And there went the class she was anticipating – out the window, over the cliffs, and right on into the Pacific. Maybe some lifeguard will pick it up down in Juarez (if the ocean current even runs that way – geography eludes me).

Tamra gulps back her wine, smiles a tense smile, and comments that, like, Vicki and Gretchen kind of hate each other. Heather smiles, nods, and is like ‘duh, that’s the point!’ in response. Heather has the oddest smile doesn’t she? It’s like the Chesire Cat grin with no teeth? I’m not the only one seeing this, am I? Maybe I shouldn’t drink wine and watch HW?

One other small snafu – Tamra will not be able to attend. She’s getting her titties reduced that week and will be out for the count. No bowling and champers for this girl. Too bad, cause I bet Tammie Sue had a mean strike back in ’85 when she was the hook-up queen of BFE, Idaho or wherever she’s from. All big hair and bigger balls. But not quite those big bazoonkas – those came later when she became the hook-up queen of ’98 in Orange County.

Tamra and Heather talk Brooks Ayers and Vicki. Tamra, proving she’s a good friend, is worried for Vicki because she thinks Brooks is a little like a shark who smells blood in the water and is swooping in for the kill. He senses that Vicki is vulnerable and tired of her love tank running on fumes, so he’s saying anything in his power to sweet talk the little rich desperada.

Proving just that, Brooks and Vicki do lunch and he opens the date with a card. Is this man keeping Hallmark in business or what? Does Vicki need a storage unit to house all those affirmations? Does she have a special box devoted to the cards that reassure her she does not look like Miss Piggy? Vicki says Brooks wants to move here, but is worried about leaving his children behind.

Anyway, Vicki and Brooks talk their love and it’s gross and I’m glad I wasn’t eating alongside them cause I would have surely asked for a doggybag and high tailed it out of there. Then Brooks asks Vicki what assets she’s getting in the divorce from Donn. That was so awkward. You know Bravo forced him to bring that up. She’s getting the big house, the house Jeana sold her that has tanked in value because Slave‘s stuff was hogging up the garage for close to a decade, and her retirement fund. Donn gets the beach house. And the dog.

Vicki tells us their love is a beautiful, fun ride down a winding scenic road and she is so thrilled that all her tanks are full. ALL her tanks? Is she the Starship Enterprise? She has reserve fuel now? Then she admits Brooks has access to all her accounts – email, banking, off-shore savings, whatever. A fun ride indeed – Vicki’s bank account is about to be as empty as her love tank. She loves that Brooks is romantical, unlike Donn who didn’t blow the mortgage payment on greeting cards. Loser. Tamra is right – this reeks of disaster!

Heather completes a Housewives rite of passage – the speakerphone invitation. Alexis can’t come ’cause she can’t bend over due to her nose job recovery. And Gretchen‘s voicemail insists you call Slave if you want to get a hold of her. So, lemme get this straight – Slave doesn’t work for Gretch, yet he fields her calls and deals with all her requests? Cause that sounds like what a personal assistant does? Is he her Slaveretary?

Alexis Bellino can’t bend over, but she can embarrass herself on the news. Seriously – was this Fox5’s idea of a practical joke? She does her make-up in the public restroom, then rushes out on stage and flubs one of the guest’s names. I kept waiting for her to mispronounce Adriana as areola or something. Then she kept interrupting the panel – which was on kids – and treating it as her own personal therapy session.

Surely this woman is not being paid? Alexis, proving that all the peroxide hair dying has destroyed the few brain cells she ever had, reveals that she wants her own show and she is, like, totally qualified because she took a journalism class in college. First of all – she went to college? AHA! AHA HA! Yeah, Not buying that! Second of all – remember all that stuff that was supposedly removed from her sinuses? I’m pretty sure those were actually her three remaining brain cells.

And all roads apparently lead to delusion tonight, because Gretchen is in the car with Slave driving to a voice coach for her Pussycat Dolls Appearance. Didn’t you know – they’re like a world-renowned dance troupe? Anyway, she’s on the phone telling someone that she strained her vocal chords screaming at Vicki and they’ve never recovered.

At the voice lesson she cannot even muster a chord. Nor is she allowed to speak to the vocal coach because Slave keeps interrupting to explain that Gretchen shouldn’t talk cause she’s straining her voice. Who else thinks he’s just trying to shut her up? Seriously – both of them please play the silent game. For the rest of the season.

Then Gretch starts practicing her scales. And all I can say is that vocal coach’s facial expressions made last night’s episode all worth it for me. That “singing” was like an American Idol reject audition. Oh, holy it was bad. Worse than bad. It was … wow – I don’t have words.

Alexis and her king do dinner. It’s date night! So Jim Bellino ruins it by telling Alexis her job is pathetic and she should basically stay at home in rent-a-mcmansion of the week and wash dishes. Right after Alexis gets done talking about how proud she is that she helped provide for her family in a bad economy while Jim’s scamming suffered and how she is so happy they could work together; Jim reminds her that when they married they became the same flesh. Except her half of the flesh does a lot of cleaning and not a lot of bread-winning.

He then tells her that while Alexis Couture is still pretty much a joke, it can stay if she continues running it from the basement, but Fox 5 needs to go. According to him Alexis only agreed to do it because she has a hard time telling people no. Clearly she would rather be at home hard-boiling eggs. Alexis is furious and retaliates by savagely chomping her poor french fry.

Oh Jim. Remember when you swore that you were not going to appear on camera because this show made you look bad? Well, perhaps you should revisit that proclamation because once again you are looking like a misogynistic ass. Although, a part of me believes he just wants Alexis to save herself the embarrassment of further faux newscastering. Good lord – she is awful! Maybe it was goodness and kindness and love that made him tell her to quit. Or maybe he was mortified by her weekly news cameltoe and cleavage display.

Poor Alexis squeakingly admits in her ITM that she doesn’t want to be a stay-at-home mom anymore. Then she looks around to check if Jim is lurking behind her eavesdropping. You make that money girl – you need it to pay for the divorce attorney!

Tammie Sue is getting her old titties yanked out in exchange for some natural-sized boobies. She’s nervous as heck, but it’s sure as hell better than keeping the boobs Simon forced her to get. I like her style. She can wrap up the old implants and send them to Simon for Christmas. Eddie has serious concerns about these new so-called small boobs, but Tamra is resolved.

And reason no 6,476 why I wouldn’t be on a reality show: being contractually obligated to participate in post-op filming. <<shudder>> After calling Vicki, who is too busy raising money to pay for Donn‘s alimony and Brooks‘ child support working, here comes Gretchy, sucking up. Gretchen could come ’cause she has no job to speak of. I thought she wasn’t allowed to talk? She reapplies Tamra’s lipgloss, which is apparently more necessary than water, and whips out a bottle of Penis Tequila.

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Gretchen Rossi is still desperately trying to convince people that she had nothing to do with leaking stories to the tabloids about Bravo manipulating co-star Tamra Barney‘s engagement. This week, Gretchen is saying Tamra merely jumped to conclusions and hurt her feelings by assuming she would sell a friend out.

“Obviously it hurts me that she immediately jumped to conclusions and made assumptions that I had something to do with it. I mean bottom line is the article actually says sources close to Gretchen it doesn’t say Gretchen said,” Gretchen tells 365Voice.

“It made me sad and it hurts me that she fired back that quick. And it was hard to hear her say that I was jealous of her thing because I’ve been nothing more than happy and supportive of her engagement.”

However, based on their less than cordial relationship in seasons’ past, Gretchen understands why Tamra was so quick to call a spade a spade react. “Tamra and I have had a very crazy past and I don’t blame her for reacting out of pain and hurt and jumping to conclusions,” she explains. “I texted her right away and I called right away and I let her know that this is ridiculous and that is not at all the truth. It seems as if by the end of the day she started to realize that and she kind of changed her tune on her twitter.”

Although, the Real Housewives of Orange County stars are not totally stable yet. Of course… “I think that unfortunately it’s going to take a few days for us to all kind of calm down from it and you know feel better about this whole situation. It’s really unfortunate because I really come to really enjoy my friendship with Tamra.”

Is anyone believing this friendship is actually legit? I mean, evidenced by the fact that Tamra so readily believed Gretchen responsible for talking to the tabloids, it’s pretty obvious this was a reality television stunt. Amirite?

Gretchen all but confirms that the friendship was inspired by ratings when she discusses the positive fan reaction to the ladies’ newfound friendship. “It’s really funny because it’s been such a great reaction from the audience, the audience has been so supportive and so happy about it and in reality Tamra and I have been very happy about it too,” Gretchen shares.

“Let me just say this for the record I’ve always liked Tamra I never had a problem with Tamra, she was always the one who had an issue with me. So I always from day one thought that she was a good friend of mine and I thought that she was really fun and I had a great time with her and you know, she kind of attacked me about things she didn’t have any knowledge about.”

Gretchen also continues to have issues with Vicki Gunvalson and promises that won’t be changing anytime soon! “Is she somebody that I respect and that I value and that I think is adding value to my life at this time? Not really,” Gretchen says of her feelings about Vicki.

“It’s disappointing to me that she continues to talk about things she doesn’t know about and I thought maybe she learned her lesson you know the first round and sees that everyone’s telling her she’s a hypocrite and she shouldn’t be talking about things she doesn’t know but then she goes right back on Watch What Happens Live and says that about something she doesn’t know again,” Gretchen fumes.

Gretchen also blames Vicki for the infamous Bunco fight. “I like to be a very upbeat person and I don’t really enjoy confrontation and I really have always tried to be empowering to other women and other cast members,” Gretchen believes. “If you actually look at who I’ve been the last two years on the show I’m never just talking crap about these women for no good reason.”

Moving on, Gretchen insists she doesn’t even want to be married yet because Bravo hasn’t offered her and Slave a spin off! “I’m in a different place in my life than Tamra is and you’ll see it unfold this season on the show that I’m not necessarily ready to be married yet,” Gretchen confesses.

And finally, Alexis Bellino and hubby Jim recently had a glamorous photoshoot for their family. A pic from that shoot is below!

Tonight is an all-new episode of Real Housewives of Orange County! The ladies get together for a muddy marathon for charity and Tamra’s divorce is finalized, causing some emotions she wasn’t prepared for! Also, Briana’s diagnosis is revealed and Alexis unveils her new nose! See a preview of the new episode below.

Real Housewives of Orange County airs tonight on Bravo at 9/10c.

THOUGHTS ON GRETCHEN’S INTERVIEW – IS SHE JEALOUS OF TAMRA’S ENGAGEMENT? IS THEIR FRIENDSHIP LEGIT OR FOR RATINGS?

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Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County was kinda boring, no? Alexis and Briana got surgery. Tamra discovered Simon is finally ready to let her be the free bitch she was meant to be – but she’s not sure she’s ready to live a life unfettered. Tamra and Vicki join Heather in LA where she is embarking upon a restaurant venture.

Things started out with Tamra paying a visit to her plastic surgeon, Dr. Ambae. Has anyone else noticed the Housewives always hug their doctors – who hugs their doctors? I’ve never hugged any of mine, but I guess if I were as reliant on my plastic surgeons as they are, it may be a different story. OR if my doctor was Paul, because I love him.

Anyway, Tamra wants to get her breasts reduced. Now that she is no longer beholden to Simon and his ideals about her body, she wants a smaller, less cumbersome rack. We get a close-up montage of Tamra’s old DDs and frankly, who wants to see a close up of wrinkled, spray-tanned cleavage? Dr. Ambae examines Tamra’s boobs and determines she has a lot of natural breast tissue so she can likely get the reduction done without adding smaller implants to fill things out. Tamra explains that those babies never stop growing! Third boobs, third marriage!

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Days after Alexis Bellino spoke out accusing Gretchen Rossi of disloyalty, Gretchen is fighting back against her former best friend and denying that she threw her under the bus. The Real Housewives of Orange County stars certainly do not appear to be the closest of friends any longer, as Gretchen has apparently moved on to another blonde with a plastic surgery habit!

And the issue that started the demise of their friendship was Nose Job Wars! Gretchen claims her reason for outing the nose job to Tamra Barney, was the mere coincidence that Alexis and Tamra were having plastic surgery on the same day! Only in Housewives land… “Tamra and I were talking about her going into surgery on Monday for her breast reduction (the bunko party was on Saturday night) that’s when I said ‘oh that’s funny Lex is going into surgery on Monday too.’ ”

“Then Tamra said for what? I said for her sinuses, and Tamra said you mean for a nose job, and I said, ‘Well I think she is also getting the bump taken off, but she is going in for her sinuses,'” Gretchen insists.

“This is when all hell broke loose,” Gretchen describes in her Bravo blog. “I mean for goodness sake’s were we really fighting about a nose job? How ridiculous was that? To me Alexis became very insecure and defensive.” Gretchen cites “feeling emotional” as a result of her earlier fight with Vicki as the reason she didn’t jump in to defend Alexis.

That argument signified the end of their made-for-TV friendship. Too bad – it seemed like a really sincere relationship. “Unfortunately, this is the night the dynamic between Alexis and I changed. I was very hurt by her actions towards me. She started accusing me of not having her back,” Gretchen muses.

“My friendship with Tamra had nothing to do with my friendship with Alexis, and I would never allow Tamra to influence my feelings towards Alexis. Alexis’ own actions towards me are what changed my feelings.”

And Gretchen is accusing Lex of not having her back either! “What I find most ironic about Alexis being so upset with me is that she sat there completely silent while I was in a fight with Vicki. Why is it that I had to get in the middle of her fight with Tamra but she could sit silent in my fight with Vicki [Gunvalson]?”

Gretchen also, of course, tackles that drama-filled fight with Vicki. “Bottom line Vicki’s rules apply to everyone but herself. She is what you call a hypocrite. Correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t her own daughter call her out on this (on the way to surgery) ‘Nothing is ever about anyone else but my mom,'” Gretchen snipes.

“The underlying part of this fight was her claiming we had no clue what it is like to have a sick child,” Gretchen explains. “What is it with these women that they think just because I haven’t popped out a kid between my own two legs, I have no clue what it is like to be concerned about a child? Last time I checked Slade [Smiley]‘s son has been sick for close to seven years now, and I have now had to embrace that fight with him for the last three.”

And Gretchen is STILL defending Slade, saying he never went to jail for child support issues and has always made “some sort” of payment. Slade went to jail for missing a court date related to not paying child support.

“Slade went to court and filed a modification three years ago. Unfortunately the media likes to perpetuate lies, and obviously so do some of my cast members. Gratefully after three years of fighting with his ex in court, the court granted his modification just a few weeks ago to match his current income.” His support was allegedly reduced to around $775.00 per month.

“Slade is working very hard to catch up on any back debt that is outstanding based on the arrears being adjusted from the modification,” she insists. “Moreso he refuses to allow me to help him with it — something I greatly respect him for.”

Gretchen is also adamant that Slade has a job, although neither she nor Slade are revealing what that so-called job is! “Slade does NOT work for me and never has! He has simply helped me with my businesses as any good partner would!; ” she clarifies. His job must be very flexible to allow for all that free filming, traveling around with Gretchen, and trailing behind her, hauling some pink Gretchen Christine junk bags. Too bad ol’ Slavey can’t write his own blog to explain his nonsense, but alas, he isn’t a real castmember! Just a hanger-on.

Also speaking out about Alexis’ nose and the Bunco night from hell is our esteemed hostess with the mostess-drama, Tamra! First off, Tammy Sue, insists Jim Bellino was indeed on the guest list, but he never RSVP’d.

“To hear Alexis say Jim was NOT invited just blows me away. He chose not to attend. You see me walk over to her and whisper in her ear. I was telling her that Jim was invited and he did not respond to the invite. I would NEVER invite all the men and not Jim, My God, I even had Slade and he just ripped on me.”

Tamra explains her perspective on the fight between Vicki and Gretchen, and is still in shock that it happened. “I was really put in a bad place and was not about to choose sides. I was actually speechless for once in my life,” she reveals in her Bravo blog. “I heard the screaming and the yelling but after a while it sounded like white noise. I can understand both sides.”

“I told Vicki that ‘I was removed because I choose to be removed.’ I just can’t take the back and forth fighting anymore. I figure If I am above it, maybe it will go away? Guess what, it did!”

And about Alexis’ sinus surgery/nose job; Tamra is still calling bull sh-t on Alexis’ claims of sinus trouble! “I am sorry but she has complained about the bump on her nose for years. No one has ever heard her talk about her sinuses.” True, true!

“The bottom line is, NO ONE at that table cared if she was getting a nose job. It was just the fact that she was lying about it, like she always does,” Tamra seethes. “Alexis (or should I call her Pinocchio) really should stop lying or that nose is going to get big again.” Buuuurn! And funny.

“I have never talked to Alexis about Gretchen and when we fought in the past she never challenged me on what was said,” Tamra claims. “I’m starting to think she just says what sounds good at that moment.”

Finally, in closing, Tamra claims she was harassing Slave about his deadbeatism because she cares about Grayson, and for Alexis or anyone to imply otherwise is heartless!

“Alexis made this statement on her blog and it sent chills down my spin ‘I don’t like how Tamra and Vicki treated Slade and Gretchen in the past about Slade’s child support, and how in the past neither Tamra or Vicki seemed to care that Slade’s precious son was so ill.’ I take great offense to this statement,” Tamra asserts. “The reason I was so vocal about Slade’s issues in the past is because I felt SO BAD about his son.”

In other news, Vicki turned 50 yesterday! “Tonight I am blessed to be celebrating my 50th Birthday with family and friends! This deserves a Woo Hoo!;” she tweeted. Tamra and Eddie will be included in the “friends,” as she confirmed on Twitter they’ll be present. No word if Alexis and Jim are also on the list! Make sure to wish the OG of the OC a Happy Birthday!

A photo of Vicki with her birthday cake is below!

WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON: GRETCHEN OR ALEXIS? DO YOU BELIEVE SLADE IS WORKING TO REPAY HIS OUTSTANDING CHILD SUPPORT OBLIGATIONS? WILL YOU BE WISHING VICKI G A HAPPY BIRTHDAY?

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON TO SEE VICKI’S PHOTO!

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