Complex Magazine recently released a list of the so-called hottest ladies of Reality TV and we just don't agree with their version events. Kim Kardashian's surgically altered everything rolling in at number one? Um… yeah, No.
Melissa Gorga beating out Maxim's Hottest Joanna Krupa? Interesting, to say the least. Not that Melissa's not hot of course, but does she out-hot a stone cold fox of the supermodel variety? C'mon now.
And where, of course, were the guys on this list? Don't they get a mention? I mean no hottest list is complete without Joe Giudice's pregnant gut and Brooks Ayers' Hallmark thieving ways, amirite?
So anyway, Complex we'll take your hot list and raise you one of our own! Behold – Reality Tea's Hottest!
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Ewww. I guess I should know that if a post is going to involve Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis, I'm not going to be writing about rainbows and kittens…unless rainbows and kittens are involved with whatever sexual escapade he's describing. Of course, if that's the case, someone needs to call PETA stat.
This time around Joe makes a cameo on Real Housewives of Miami where he alleges that he slept with both Joanna Krupa and her sister Marta. Again ewww. How old is this guy again? Oh, that's right! He's thirty-nine…a perfectly acceptable age to still be bragging about sexual conquests like he's hanging out in his high school locker room. Ewww ewww ewww. Thankfully, we'll all get to witness the madness on this week's episode.
I'll be honest, when I first saw the headlines for this piece of gossip, I was more than slightly disturbed that Joe was implying he had a three-way with the sisters, but I am relieved that my assumption is incorrect. Small favors, right?
Last night on Real Housewives of Miami, drama was as plentiful as the uneaten food. Joanna Krupa may or may not have caught her fiancé in the throes of a passionate affair. And Adriana de Moura may or may not have accused Karent Sierra of being a desperate delusional famewhore to her face. Oh – and best of all Mama Elsa my or may not have threatened to beat a drag queen's ass. Yep, never a dull moment in the Sunshine State!
Things begin at Alexia Echevarria's party. Karent has come guns blazing after Joanna slipped and told her Adriana was planning to confront her about famewhoring. Karent is like I'll worry about that after photos! CHEESE. That girl was in her Mecca all over the step n repeat!
Inside the party the awkwardness is palpable right away and Adriana is following Karent with narrowed eyes just waiting to strike. Karent is also acting like nothing weird has ever happened with Ana Quincoces and Rodolfo as she keeps trying to yank her in for more photos. Girl – how many photos do you need?
Real Housewives of Miami star Joanna Krupa headed out to BOA Steakhouse with Romain Zago last night in Beverly Hills, wearing a see-through top with no bra. So, we gotta ask – is it trashy or high fashion? We're betting more than a few diners had a difficult time concentrating on their own dinner dates.
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I guess it's par for the course. If you go on a Housewives franchise, chances are people will dig up dirt on your past. Even better? If you don't have a juicy past, they'll make up some stories! Just ask Real Housewives of Miami'sJoanna Krupa. She was recently accused by The Dirty (because that's a legit site) of being a high priced call girl. As you know, the story was quickly retracted (or taken down…I doubt anyone at The Dirty knows the meaning of the word "retracted") when the supermodel threatened legal action.
So, what have we learned? The Polish beauty never accepted money in exchange for boring, rich, socially awkward men's attention. Color me shocked…not. However, the reason her name (and picture) was brought into this crazy gossip has finally come to light. It's basically the ol' bait and switch…some millionaire Madame shared Joanna's pictures on her website, and when men would request the leggy blonde, said madame would do her best to hook him up with a lookalike. That is not shady at all…said no one EVER.
Last night on Real Housewives of Miami, a very careful distinction was made. And that distinction was the differences between a regular, old, run of the mill famewhore, and an uber, professional celeb-stalking, paparazzi courting, namedropping famewhore. And guess who announced themselves a member of the latter category?Karent Sierra, dentist to the stars by day, photobombing pseudo-celeb by night!
Only Bravo could find these people and give them a platform for which to promote their ridiculous endeavors? As Adriana de Moura pointed out – "Doesn't she have teeth to drill?"
But before all that drama, Romain Zago is putting his foot down with Marta Krupa. It would appear that Marta, who has no reliable job to speak of, is seeming like a freeloader to Romain, who wonders just why she doesn't help out around the house? Romain spells it out – you're taking advantage of Joanna Krupa.
Marta's all like, 'Yeah, but I like mopped the floor that one time! I help! I put a new toilet paper roll on the holder. And ummm… I, like, put the clothes away that I borrow from Joanna!' Romain chastises her for not even grocery shopping – which makes sense considering she doesn't have a job so how exactly would she buy food? Anyway, Marta, who's a serious actress, announces she's moving in with Fembot Fakenstein. Romain is like don't let the door hit you – and take out the trash on your way out!