Last night on the season premiere ofReal Housewives of Miami, Bravo tried to make lemons out of lemonade by teasing us with a fancypants literary reference and dangling feuds and jealousy in our faces. Aaaah, a Tale Of Two Miamis it is not – at least not yet. No, it was more like a tale of bored Housewives doing what they do best: show off, bicker, drink, and surgically alter themselves. Keep on being you, senoritas!
Alas, things begin with a kicky opening montage of the new girls describing how Old Miami is a thing of the past (you think?) and new Miami is all them. Thus far, Old Miami looks a lot like New Miami and New Miami seems like they want to be Old Miami – if that makes sense. We jump into things by meeting the new girls and checking in with the old ones. And up first is Marysol Patton and and oldest of th Miami bunch, Mama Elsa.
Marysol had a tumultuous year. Unfortunately she separated from her husband Philippe (whom we saw her getting married to on a mountain in Aspen) and he has since moved out. So… storyline wedding? Or storyline divorce? Anyway, Mama Elsa thinks it's for the best. In other Marysol updates, she has been seeing a new psychic behind Mama's back and that psychic saw her RHOM contract and informed her she would be meeting a whole bunch of new girls that would cause drama. Gee.. I think I would ask for a REFUND.
Real Housewives of Miami is kicking things off tonight! Following a supremely lackluster response to the first season, a complete cast overhaul happened to spice things up.
Well, apparently it worked! The ladies are making the rounds to promote the show and they promise it is very, very dramatic and fans will not be disappointed. I'm slightly afraid by that proclamation. I sometimes like boring. I know, I know…
Anyway, season one survivor Lea Black vows this season is a totally new ball game. "I think a lot's different," she told the Today Show. "I think the mix of the new girls has made it hot, spicy, wild, crazy, fun and … a few other things have gone on."
And just what "other things" have gone on? Oh, you know the usual Housewives antics. "More drama than ever," Lea revealed, playing coy. "And it heats up as the season progresses."
We're just two days away from the premiere of season 2 of The Real Housewives of Miami! The cast and other celebs kicked things off with a Season 2 VIP Launch Party held at The Forge Restaurant in Miami Beach, Florida last night.
In a few short days the second season of Real Housewives of Miami will come crashing onto our TV screens harder than waves of Hurricane Irene.
After a lackluster first season Bravo is doing everything in it's power to make sure the drama is full-force and there will be no fans left disappointed. As part of their major overhaul the network added three new Housewives to the cast. Dr. Karent Sierra, a dentist to the stars is one of those new ladies – and she assures viewers the ladies of Miami will definitely be making some waves!
First of all, Karent assures the Miami Hearald that none of the drama captured between the cast is staged – and unlike some series of Housewives they are all 100% authentic! I'm not sure if that's refreshing or downright scary. “A lot of people who watch reality TV will think that it’s fake, but there’s nothing fabricated on this show,’’ Karent promises.
I can't. I just can't. The Real Housewives of Orange County may be the original housewives (although most aren't, in fact, wives), but sometimes they are also the most ridiculous. Let's take Gretchen Rossi, for example. She's not a wife–and with Slade Smiley as her beau she may never be one–but, like her counterparts, she loves to talk about whatever it takes to keep her in the spotlight.
For example, last week, Gretchen was yapping about how former best friend/current nemesis Alexis Bellinocopied her hairstyle…because that's news. This week, Gretchen is sharing with us her workout routine while applauding herself for overcoming bulimia. Wait…didn't Alexis say she struggled with bulimia growing up when the ladies took a quick trip to Texas during season six? Who is the copycat now, Gretch?
Last season Real Housewives of Miami was widely panned for being completely boring. Bravo apparently heeded the advice of viewers and decided to spice things up to jalapeno levels! After firing two castmembers and reportedly signing on Joanna Krupa, Karent Sierra, and Lisa Hochstein – things are getting crazy down in Miami. So much so that the CBS Miami reports there was quite the altercation at a recent fashion show!
At the show, which was hosted by shoe designer Lisa Pliner at the home she shares with her husband Donald J. Pliner, the ladies of Bravo behaved every way but civilized – per their contract stipulation! Apparently, things got heated with drag queen/emcee Elaine Lancaster started harassing Marysol Pattonfor her overly puffed face over an issue they had years ago and the two got into it! Marysol couldn’t take the heat and became very emotional, causing a scene and threatening to quit the show, according to the Miami Herald Blog!
A hysterical Marysol was overheard freaking out to Bravo producers and threatening to walk out, before a producer reminded her about that iron-clad contract she signed! When party-goers noticed the drama, Marysol pulled it together and insisted all was fine, but she needed to get back to work.
Speaking out about the event, Elaine Lancaster claims it was no big deal; chalking it up to “tension” and “dealing with a bunch of catty women and egos.” Laughing it off, she added, “In fact, I try to emulate the best that women have, unfortunately, that’s a bad quality that some women have.”
Lea Black told reporters she had no idea what the ruckus was about, but it didn’t spoil anyone’s good time. “I think there was a little conflict among a few girls that maybe they could have handled it at another time, at another place but it happened here.” And indeed, it wouldn’t be a Housewives franchise without some inappropriately timed and placed drama, would it?
Moving on, newbie Housewife Joanna has decided she is something of an anti-fur advocate. First, she led a protest against the Kardashian owned DASH boutique, which appeared to be Lisa and a couple of her girlfriends staging an event for the paparazzi before grabbing some lunch. Whatever the case, it seems she nabbed PETA’s attention and now the animal-rights group has unleashed her as their newest spokesmodel.
The new campaign features a topless Joanna sporting a halo, angel wings, and a cross. It’s classy, of that I can assure you! The advertisement is supposed to help you remember to rescue animals as she is also standing (floating?) on the heads of several small dogs with the caption: “Always adopt, never buy.” In another photo she is snuggling a yorkie to her naked chest.
“We’re spreading the word that breeding your dog or cat isn’t the way to go,” Joanna explained to the New Times. “Somebody needs to put their foot down and stop this breeding and these hideous puppy mills. Dogs’re [sic] in these little tiny cages for life. It makes me so angry, and if our government doesn’t do anything about it, I have to.”
Well, ok – I’m not one to take away from a good cause. Oh, what am I saying – I’ll snark on anything. The photos of Joanna saving animals is below. Too bad no one told her she should save herself the embarrassment of participating in a reality show!
[Photo Credits: Johnny Lewis/WENN.com]
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