You know what? Every week I snark on the women of Love & Hip Hop for being huge dolts and letting the idiot men in their lives make them look like fools on national television. I'm not going to stop now. Wake up, Tara Wallace! See the light, Amina Buddafly! All this drama over Peter Gunz? I'll never understand it, and this is coming from a girl who has had her fair share of winners in the dating lottery and made several of the mistakes these ladies continue to make. No, I've never secretly married another woman's boyfriend and tattooed his name on my rib cage (yet), but I have certainly believed a liar or three.
Speaking of another L&HH damsel who keeps finding herself in the same predicament is Tahiry Jose. The poor girl tries to stand up to Joe Budden, but the nutty professor is always able to lure her back and somehow make her feel guilty for his bad behavior. It's diabolical…he should be a politician!
Last night's Love & Hip Hop episode was as ratchet as ever. I love that each show ends with a mini-brawl. It's by far the most high brow show I'm watching these days…um. Of course, last night made me fall in love with Peter Gunz all over again. Swoon. Damn. I couldn't even type that without gagging a bit.
Peter is trying to figure out which lady in his life deserves more attention. He decides that he needs to focus on Amina Buddafly…after all, she is the potential breadwinner. Peter admits to her that Yandy Smith won't let Rich Dollaz sign her to their label because of her and Petey's messy situation. While she understands, she isn't happy about it. She is his wife now, not his side chick! Keep telling yourself that, hon. She's ready to live as husband and wife now that Tara Wallace knows the truth, but Peter is still spending the night as his kids' house and "working late." Here's a tip, sweetheart. He's not spending the night with his kids, but rather with their mother who may be as stupid as you are. Oh, and that working late thing? Remember when he used to "work late" with you? He's doing that with someone else. However, it's super sweet that Amina believes Peter when he tells her they can't wear wedding rings until he can afford a ring worthy for her. That will happen in about three weeks to never!
It was another drama fueled evening on last night's Love & Hip Hop. The men showed what true class acts they are with Saigon being physically restrained from going after his child's mother and Peter Gunz vowing to do whatever it takes to make sure he keeps both his wife and his girlfriend in his back pocket. At least Rich Dollaz remains his normal doormat self. Thank goodness for small favors!
To get out her aggression, Tara Wallace turns to boxing with Yandy Smith at her cousin's gym. Let's hope he doesn't take any Instagrams of the ladies like last season! Tara shares her own Instagram gold mine where she found Amina Buddafly's videos of Peter. Three glasses of wine later and she's cutting up all of his belongings. Three glasses? I would have only needed three sips to wreak havoc on Peter's gross behind. Tara asks Yandy about the management situation with Amina, and she seems to understand that it's just business. If Yandy wants to sign Amina, Tara knows that it is what it is. However, Yandy doesn't want the mess that signing Amina brings, and she assures her friend that Amina will not be a part of her label.
Saigon wants to get to know Erica Jean better since, oh, you know, they have a CHILD together. He takes her on a painting date to learn more about his baby mama on a deeper level. They chat about how great being parents is, and I have to applaud them for remembering their lines because this is the most fake conversation ever. Paging Jane Seymour–these two are poised to be the next spokespeople for Kaye's Open Hearts Collection. Their kiss seems about as forced as their small talk.
Welp, that break-up didn't last long. Just kidding, we all know that Love & Hip Hop is totally scripted, so Tahiry Jose taking Joe Budden to task over allowing a "female" friend wipe her face all over Tahiry's bedroom was just drama courtesy of Mona. I'm sure in "real life" the pair have a normal, healthy, stable relationship. No, I couldn't get through typing that without laughing…
The couple recently appeared on VH1's Big Morning Buzz Live with Carrie Keagan where they discussed current projects, the status of their relationship, and–what else?–selfies. Just so you're informed, Tahiry loves selfies of herself but thinks that guy selfies are "corny." Professor Budden opines, “Men can’t take selfies, ‘cause we’re men.” Brilliance in its truest form.
As for how they are keeping busy now that filming has wrapped, Joe shares that he's just finished his third studio album while Tahiry is the new owner of a club called Suite 135 in Harlem. Does this mean she can quit waiting tables? Make sure to check out the buzz and learn Joe's Rules for Selfies! #themoreyouknow
So, let's just dive right into last night's Love & Hip Hop, shall we? After all, that's what Mona wants us to do! The episode begins asPeter Gunz' two lady loves have been pulled apart, and Tara Wallace is still trying to figure out her next move as Amina Buddafly laughs hysterically in the corner. I'm so confused. Rich Dollaz calls Peter to warn him of the debacle. It's messy, and messy isn't good for the label. Yandy Smith puts Tara in a car after promising to support her friend. So, is Amina still going to be the label's rainmaker?
Saigon is having a birthday party Joe Budden style. He's gotten back the results of the DNA test, and he's waiting to open up the envelope. Erica Jean is giggling and falling all over Grill Master Saigon until he's ready to Maury Povich himself. For some reason Erica Jean is nervous, but once it's determined that he is the father, he's over the moon. Saigon isn't ready to commit to Erica Jean until he knows he's mature enough to be honest and faithful, but he's happy to date her until that day comes. He starts screaming "The Boy is Mine" all Brandi/Monica style to the entire birthday party. So much for keeping the DNA testing discreet!
Tara waits up all night for the coward Peter to come home. Of course, he waits to confront Tara in the daylight after she's put his shoe collection out on the sidewalk. He's sorry he messed, but he doesn't want to be embarrassed by having his shoes thrown at him. Peter thinks that Tara was wrong for hitting Amina, and Amina was wrong for telling Tara about their marriage. Is this guy for real? He hates that Tara found out that Amina is his wife because it pains him to see her hurting. Yeah, keeping the marriage a secret should have been the way to go…not, oh, you know, refraining from marrying your side chick!
Well, what do you know? Promises were kept on last night's Love & Hip Hop…although said promises caused some major blow-ups. Peter Gunz assured Amina Buddafly that he'd tell Tara Wallace about their relationship, and he does. Nya wants to keep her word to help out Erica Mena. Of course, that will certainly end well–everything with Erica always does!
After thwarting Amina's plans to tell Tara about her wedding to Peter, ol' Petey boy calls up Rich Dollaz for advice. They are having a meeting of the creeps, but just because Peter is a creep doesn't mean he's a bad person. He's just indecisive as to who he wants to have sex with on a regular basis. Speaking of creeps, Joe Budden is meeting with Nya at the strip club. They've developed a true friendship as only a stripper and hookah smoking patron can be. Professor Budden tries to dissuade Nya from collaborating with Erica Mena, but I am totally distracted by the dancer in the background whose arse is literally about to eat some gentleman's face. Thanks for the nightmares, VH1. Thanks a lot.
Peter stays true to his word for once and keeps his "tomorrow" promise to tell Tara about Amina. He invites her to come by the studio and halfway tells her that he's been diddling his artist for a little while. When she gets upset about the fact that he's cheating (yet again), he says she may need to shoulder some of the responsibility since the pair hasn't been getting along. Is he serious? She's slapping him every which way to Sunday before throwing his guitar and storming out of the studio. Tara feels so stupid for thinking that Peter had changed his cheating ways…as she should!
Well, we're back for another classy installment ofLove & Hip Hop which begins with Amina Buddafly bragging to Rich Dollaz about her marriage to Peter Gunz. She is a horrible actress as she tries to act like she's sick of being considered his side-chick. Peter can't believe she's spilling their secret. After all, he told her that no one could ever know about their little wedding. Mona, I'm insulted. This is what passes for "reality" these days? This is about as real as my relationship with Ryan Gosling.
K. Michelle and her friend Paris are meeting Yandy Smith for gossip and cocktails. They discuss the dating scene in New York City, and K. Michelle reveals that she won't date another man with a hairless cat. Before I can get totally grossed out by K's weird sexual references, she explains that she once dated a guy who actually had a Grandma Whiskers. Yandy decides to plan a ladies' night out to welcome her friend to the Big Apple.
We're introduced to Nya who is a stripper turned rapper (sound familiar?), so of course Rich feels inclined to stop by the studio to check out her sound. Nya isn't keen on having a manager who is known for sleeping with his artists. She's already got enough to overcome with the whole stripper gig. Rich is insulted. Google him. He makes dreams come true. This is either the worst first meeting between "business people" or a prelude to a sexually charged manager-artist relationship. I've learned only one thing from this flipping franchise, and that is the studio time costs money. This entire exchange just seems like a big ol' waste of cash to me.