Well, we're back for another classy installment ofLove & Hip Hop which begins with Amina Buddafly bragging to Rich Dollaz about her marriage to Peter Gunz. She is a horrible actress as she tries to act like she's sick of being considered his side-chick. Peter can't believe she's spilling their secret. After all, he told her that no one could ever know about their little wedding. Mona, I'm insulted. This is what passes for "reality" these days? This is about as real as my relationship with Ryan Gosling.
K. Michelle and her friend Paris are meeting Yandy Smith for gossip and cocktails. They discuss the dating scene in New York City, and K. Michelle reveals that she won't date another man with a hairless cat. Before I can get totally grossed out by K's weird sexual references, she explains that she once dated a guy who actually had a Grandma Whiskers. Yandy decides to plan a ladies' night out to welcome her friend to the Big Apple.
We're introduced to Nya who is a stripper turned rapper (sound familiar?), so of course Rich feels inclined to stop by the studio to check out her sound. Nya isn't keen on having a manager who is known for sleeping with his artists. She's already got enough to overcome with the whole stripper gig. Rich is insulted. Google him. He makes dreams come true. This is either the worst first meeting between "business people" or a prelude to a sexually charged manager-artist relationship. I've learned only one thing from this flipping franchise, and that is the studio time costs money. This entire exchange just seems like a big ol' waste of cash to me.
Don't lie. You've missed the crew from Love & Hip Hop. Yeah, I know. I couldn't type that with a straight face any more than you could read it with one. With the Basketball Wives reunion kaput, VH1 treated us to the season premiere of a more yawn-inducing version of the feisty L&HH: ATL. While I'll try to reserve my judgment, I don't think that K. Michelle can save this sinking ship any more than the newbies. It's not that I don't like Yandy Smith and Mendeecees Harris, but they are almost too likeable. I didn't believe Rich Dollaz and Erica Mena's relationship was anything more than camera candy, so I never invested much thought in them, and don't even get me started on the dysfunction that is Tahiry Jose and Joe Budden. So, about that reservation of judgment promise…I'm not doing so well, eh?
With the Medicine Man still incarcerated, Yandy has continued to take Little Mendeecees during his dad's custodial times. Both she and Mendecees have decided to tell the boy that his father is serving time…in the army. I don't even have the chance to type how adorable this child is before Mona Scott Young goes and throws a curveball…she is totally exploiting Little Mendecees by having him share a secret with his soon-to-be stepmom. He reveals that he has known his dad was in jail for months.
You know you've missed the cast of the original Love & Hip Hop, haven't you? What has the manipulative and ridiculous Joe Budden been doing with his time? Is he still playing Tahiry Rose? And what is the volatile Erica Mena up to now that she's lost her boyfriend/manager Rich Dollaz?
Well, I'll give you a hint. One is potentially prego, one is busy being a d-bag on Twitter, and the third? Well, I'm jealous. The third is hanging out with my favorite Jersey Shore alum Vinny Guadagnino on his new endeavor The Show with Vinny. Care to guess who is doing what?
VH1 is sharing some not-so-cray-cray-Erica times on the recent show, and I'm kind of sad I didn't watch it. Shhh…..don't tell anyone! As a guest on Vinny's new family dinner inspired talk show, Erica was apparently anything but the fiesty, drink throwing, foul mouthed cheater we get to see on L&HH.
The original Love & Hip Hop needs to realize that no one ever cared about it once Love & Hip Hop Atlanta came into existence. It just ended last week, and I'd be hard pressed to name all of the cast members (although, in my defense there were oodles of them!), and I had to watch it every week!
Now, in an effort to remain relevant (never gonna happen), the casting rumors for next season are already starting to swirl. I find this hilarious given that the season hasn't even been renewed yet! First on the chopping block is Consequence and his Christmas tradition loving girlfriend and baby mama Jen Bayer. Surely Mona Scott-Young has to love the racially and religiously charged drama they bring to the show…
I'll be honest, I didn't think there was any need for another hour of reunion footage for Love & Hip Hop after watching the first half last week. However, Mona Scott-Young proved me wrong (it's not the first time either!). Consequence and Professor Joe Budden reveal a hidden feud that causes Cons to totally sucker punch Joe. It's ridiculousness at it's finest. Rich Dollaz and Erica Mena continue to show the world just how dysfunctional their relationship is/was, and Yandy Smith opens up about Mendeecees Harris' arrest.
The evening begins with Mona introducing the cast, and Joe, Tahiry Jose, Yandy, Erica, and Rich are joining her on stage. Mona shows a clip of the ladies' dressed in their bootilicious finest, and it's T&A all over the place. Rich and Joe take a fan video question which wonders if the naked pictures of them on the Internet are, um, accurate. Joe claims his phone was stolen at a strip club, and, while it's his body, the pic was photoshopped. Rich says that his photo is true to form from the waist up, but someone downplayed his man bits. A bitter Erica disagrees…she snips that it's a true depiction of Rich's business.
Mona highlights Jen Bayer and Consequence's struggle with religion. Jen still wants her one day of tradition, but Cons isn't willing to compromise. Rashidah Ali, who is also Muslim, feels for the couple's situation. Mona questions Jen about her comments to Raqi Thunda about being white, and before she can explain, Raqi starts mouthing off to Cons. Rashidah tells Raqi that she's a disgrace to Islam, and the two women go at it. Rashidah takes off her shoes, and the scrapping begins. Joe is filming it all on his camera. Once they are separated and scolded by Mona, Raqi exits to compose herself.
Dear Mona Scott-Young, You will never be Andy Cohen, and VH1 will never be Bravo. You don't need to draw out your reality show seasons with multiple reunions. One is sufficient. Heck, most of the time with Andy's ladies, one is enough. Sincerely, Lauren. P.S. Please give Andy some tricks on how to stay in control of the reunion. Kthanksbubye!
On last night's Love & Hip Hop reunion, Mona introduces the ladies, and it's actually the only time they have all been in the same place at the same time. Poor Winter didn't make the stage, but she barely made any scenes either, so I'd say she's lucky to be on the front row with Professor Budden, Olivia Longott, Rich Dollaz, and Consequence. Mona can't wait to play Joe's favorite game of Truth or Truth after reminding us about the serious topics the show tackled like screaming, throwing drinks, being hos, and ripping out weave drug addiction, jail time, race, and religion.
We're treated to quite the violent montage, and then Mona asks Rashidah Ali why she called Mendeecees Harris a clown. Mona is clearly sticking up for her protege Yandy Smith, and Rashidah starts going off on how she used to sleep with Mendeecees, and he used to talk about Yandy behind her back. The always classy Yandy requests that Rashidah keep Mendeecees out of her accusations since he isn't around to defend himself. Rashidah agrees to stick with facts…Mendeecees has the smallest penis she's ever seen. Yandy doesn't justify her comments. Instead, Yandy blames Winter for going back and stirring the pot with Rashidah.