Last night was the season finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey. I don't know why they bothered taping one this season since it was pretty much a complete rehash of last season's! Of course things ended on a much better note, so there's that – and it seemed as if Teresa Giudice and Joe Gorga had finally taken the steps towards the slow, treacly path to rebuilding… But then we saw WWHL. So, anyway – Deja-Jersey!
Apparently all things Jersey must end with Posche. #Posche4Life. Kim D has some magic clutches on the producers of RHONJ – I mean how on earth has she roped them into filming her event three seasons running?! It starts with Penny Karagiorgis squaring off against Teresa. Did Teresa tell Penny all about the misdeeds of her sister-in-law Melissa Gorga? Penny says yes, Teresa says no. I say (as does Joe Giudice): "Who cares?!"
Penny reveals she has Teresa's phone number in her phone but there's no proof they've communicated as she doesn't save "texez" – or "Texas" if you're Teresa. Then Johnny, Penny's large, not in charge, husband appears to defend his wife and take Poison down to size (invisible?), or something. He's got texas and tweets galore and he's also got Poison breathing down his neck like a steroid-engineered gnome. Little man feisty. Little man get mad. Little man attack. Rawr!
Melissa Gorga's new book "Love, Italian Style" hit shelves last week and has been getting an avalanche of negative press, not just for the bad writing, but for the terrible advice, too.
Among the pearls of wisdom Melissa andJoe Gorgadispel is that your man needs sex whether you want it or not and if your woman isn't in the mood, just rip her clothes off and make her in the mood. Some critics of the book felt that Melissa's husband calming tactics promoted marital rape! Not only that they called into question Joe's aggressive temper and wondered if it pointed to abuse. Oh my…
Since the Real Housewife of New Jersey star has a book to sell and teenaged girl fans to appease she quickly dismissed the criticism and claimed that her words were twisted by the media for some press. "That word is so disgusting to me and that's horrible," Melissa seethed to E! News.
Even though we have another week yet before the first part of the Real Housewives of New Jersey season 5 reunion show airs, Bravo has released oodles of photos for us to gawk at in the meantime.
In fact, there were so many pics, I have to break this up into two posts because our poor slideshow gallery (it's new and improved and awesome!) could only handle so much RHONJ in one sitting and made me split it into two.
According to North Jersey, a deal was brokered between the lawyers of the stars and Johnny Karagiorgis' attorney this week and part of that agreement was dropping the charges. A judge signed off on the deal in court this afternoon and ordered the charges dismissed.
For those not in the know, the co-stars were being charged with assault and making terroristic threats after the epic brawl at the Posche 2 grand opening party.
Jacs just Tweeted, "I don't know any man that would lie about a woman hitting him with a shoe! #neverhappened".
Bethenny dives right in, asking Melissa what the whole "treat your man like a king theory" means to her. The Real Housewives of New Jersey star says, "If you treat your man like the king, you will be his queen. If he's happy, if he's satisfied, he feels like he's got everything he needs. It's not just about happy in the bedroom, it's about respect, honesty, treating him like he runs the show but yet I'm really runnin' the show."
She continues, "It's about loyalty, it's about complimenting him, he compliments me back."
When Melissa Gorga "wrote" (as in scrawled with pink glitter pen in her trusty Lisa Frank Trapperkeeper) her book Love Italian Styleabout keeping your marriage to a poison-shrouded mini oaf hot and sexy, she had no idea that some of her very traditional, shall we say, advice may be called out as disrespectful. I mean it works for Melissa right – she gets to keep POISON! GAAAAAAG
Among the beliefs Melissa espouses, one central theme is: "Husbands want their wives to submit; wives want our husbands to dominate." That is a direct quote from her book. And husbands want to dominate in all aspects of the marriage – from sex, to the home, their wife's wardrobe!
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Melissa Gorga is so over these cheating rumors and the Twitter brigade that's out to tear her down. She shares this week that she's tired of it all and is moving on, hoping these people will get a hobby and live their own lives.
Melissa shared, "UGH! I don’t know about you, but I am so over the he said, she said. It’s getting very old if you ask me. The fact is I came onto the RHONJ scene talking about sprinkle cookies and re-done homes. How we got to gold-digging, stripping, and cheating is beyond me."
The Real Housewives of New Jersey star explains why she is not focused on the actual rumor itself, "For me it’s not so much about the actual rumors, because they are ridiculous and almost laughable. The people that came on the show to spread them when confronted and asked for proof have NONE. The people that shout from the rooftops on Twitter and in blogs, promising to “Bring the Truth” never do! Know this: if you were in my past, you remain in my past for a reason. Contrary to what some may say, I’m not spending my time talking about you, and I honestly wish everyone well."