Remember how Jacqueline Laurita reportedly ripped off her designer discount stilettos (girl's on a budg!) and whacked Johnny The Greek (aka John Karagiorgis) on the head, giving him like 10th degree brain damage. He couldn't tweet for one whole day, y'all!
In the latest installment of the feud that just goes and on and on my friend (this is the feud that never ends), Teresablogs about how the retreat went from bad to worse and then maybe better? Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps…
"There are no words. No words. I wouldn’t wish this situation on my worst enemy," Teresa begins.
"This was not a fun episode to watch mostly because I was hearing the things my family was saying about me behind my back for the first time," Teresa continues. "Richie, really? Melissa [Gorga], really? This is how you talk behind closed doors? You see how me and my husband talk. No bashing. Never have."
Discussing how it's hard to re-watch the drama after the fact, Kathy explains, "It scratches the surface again and that hurt keeps coming up. It’s hard to watch it because you’re like, ‘Oh my God—that’s what we look like.’ Sometimes it’s about the hurt and not about the actions that make is so bad. And we’ve come so far that you don’t want that to suck you back in."
She adds, "You have to rise above it and say, ‘Okay, I’m glad I’m not there anymore.’ It’s easy to add negativity because you now see what the other party was saying and you can easily start saying things and falling into that trap. You start reliving those patterns so you’re really not in a better place if you allow yourself to do the same things. Then you really haven’t learned anything."
Melissa says that last night's brawl was ten years in the making and herJoe just couldn't keep the floodgates from bursting open, "Ten years of hurt and anger in my husband just exploded. He had reached his breaking point. Joe Giudice immediately demanded an apology when his wife was called “scum.” I wonder how he would have reacted if his wife were called, say, “stripper,” “cheater,” “skank ass beotch,” or “horsey face.” The fight was about anger, frustration, and resentment. We held it in for so long that eventually we just broke down and couldn’t take it anymore. What Joe was trying to explain to his family is that when you speak negatively about his wife, it is disrespecting him."
Things begin with a sauced up and (spray on hair'd up) Joe Gorga charging the brother-in-law who destroyed his life, Joe Giudice. These people are the living embodiment of a soap opera, only not as devious and calculating. Except for Melissa… So anyway, Poison charges at Juicy and unfortunately Juicy immediately drops him and begins punching him.
Poor Melissa Gorga leaps on top of Juicy to try and pry him away from her precious little husbanito. "Teresa, help your brother!" she screams.
Teresa Giudice is gonna help alright – girlfriend is grabbing her purse, hightailing it out of there, and telling the producers to call the cops. Fire up that party bus cause mama is fleeing the coop! Just kidding, a panicked Teresa bellows to someone to call the cops. Doesn't Juicy have enough felonies?! Do not call the cops, but do get the mace! Or at least some Fabellini to subdue these people.
Back inside fight club, it takes all of the remaining Gorgadice (and Wallpaper) family members to pry Juicy off of Poison. Or Poison off Juicy – I really couldn't tell who was up and who was down at that point, except Melissa, who was shrieking and scratching.
Jacqueline sums up the issues and any hope between Teresa Giudice andJoe Gorga, "That's why there's so much intense feelings because there's so much hurt there, but so much love there, too."
On Joe Giudice's autism comments on last week's episode of RHONJ: "I know a lot of people got hard on Joe for the autism comment but I know Joe and i think he was acknowledging the brains and the intelligence in a lot of children on the spectrum but I think he just has a lack of knowledge of how much time and attention and focus it is and work in terms of raising a child with special need. I think he just doesn't really know but he just saw them as very intelligent which is very true but you know I think he just didn't realize what he was saying."
Good lord last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey was a rare and special breed of ridiculous, wasn't it? So the Gorgadice families went on some silly retreat to put their problems behind them and rebuild. Except it was more passive aggressive blaming and whining from everyone! Yay for something new and exciting.
Things begin over at Casa de Gorga, amid the crumbling faux marble and the collapsing gold-plate archways they are preparing for the big retreat. Melissa Gorga and Poison are doing their vacation dance ritual and getting into the groove by busting some J. Faux moves and encouraging their kids to dance. "Stripper in the house," Poison bellows as his three-year-old twerks, while daddy erratically humps and grinds the air. Yeah! Shake your moneymaker kids. Great parenting…
Antonia helps mommy pack and decides among the must haves are a bible and a stuffed unicorn. Makes sense, unicorns because it would be an absolutely fairy tale to imagine these families getting along. And a bible because you never know who may need an exorcism on a RHONJ trip. All signs point to Teresa!