Sometimes Real Housewives of New Jersey is the gift that keeps on giving. And sometimes it's the white elephant present that gets passed round and round at the party cause nobody wants to take it home. After last night's episode I have come to deduce two things: 1) That Kim D and the producers are crazy, maniacal, and will do anything for drama – hence setting up both Teresa GiudiceANDMelissa Gorga OR 2) Teresa is the world's best actress, has truly missed her calling, and needs to get on Broadway ASAP.
I'll do my best to remain neutral in this recap because I have my own opinion on what's going on – regardless of what the other members of the RHONJ are attempting to spin. So it's just check my sanity at the door here and suspend my rational thoughts – you know like any good Jersey Housewife!
And I'll also do my best to remain positive, because when it's all said and done this wasn't a bad episode. For the most part everyone was nice to each other, respectful, and got along. Well, except for Richie Wakile who is doing his damnedest to stay relevant and carve himself a niche in the show. More on him in a minute.
Now, believe me when I tell you, I think all of these ladies are a big ol' piece of work. Unless Teresa's involved, it usually takes two people to create drama and tension (I'm looking at you Manzo sisters!), and it is, in my experience, much easier to always turn the other cheek. When I was in college, my mother gave me the best advice when I was stuck in the throes of a manipulative friendship. She said, even if people don't realize it now, and even if it takes several years and you no longer care, crazy always catches up to crazy. She couldn't have been more right.
I generally like to keep my problems away from water, but I guess that’s not the case with the Real Housewives of New Jerseywho took their fighting to a Rock of Love level when things got dramatic in and around the hot tub of horrors. Sadly Bret Michaels did not arrive to bust into a hair metal anthem. #why? Luckily there were sequins. As one of our twitter followers pointed out, you can cut a bitch with a sequined bikini. Where do they buy these things?
So there they all were in some insanely hideous bikinis, hair and make-up done up to the nines, guzzling wine by the gallon, and shrieking at each other like mongooses so that it echoed through the vineyards of Napa and awoke a dreaming Vivendi Wine owner in his sleep. ‘Oh, no… ‘ he thought… ‘The meerkats have gotten into the grapes again.’ Nope, just some delusional women embarrassing themselves on national TV! Grapes are fine, viewers of RHONJ not so much! Pack your alibis and let’s go!
Our favorite reality TV stars can’t get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to give us an hourly play-by-play of their lives. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
Above: Snooki is down to her “final days” of her pregnancy! She shared, “My family ❤”.
After this past episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey, I am sure Napa was beyond ready to bid farewell to the crazy crew. From name calling to doing the dirty grape style, it was all just to much for me. Also, I never needed to see Joe Gorga in nasty, tight boxer briefs. Have these people no shame?
We all know the main drama occurred when Juicy Joe Giudice had some choice names for his wife Teresa while on the phone with “a business contact.” Not surprisingly, Teresa takes to her blog (and the cover of In Touch–go figure!) to share her pain.
Ahhhh… New Jersey, where class goes to die. Oh, I joke! What I should say isReal Housewives of New Jersey– where class goes to die. So Chris Laurita tried to be all sophisticated-like and invite these imbeciles to a vineyard he is hoping to sign a business deal with. So, just read that sentence back to yourself again and then pause – no logic, right? Well, I guess he needed Bravo to expense his business trip.
This episode had a lot going on from friendship and family drama to marital discord, but the important thing, the crazy thing, the most ridiculous thing was Joe Giudice andAlbert Manzo‘s highly intense discussion about KFC. Was there or was there not a KFC on some street, in some random Jersey suburb?! There they are on a bus bitching about biscuits. This warrants a very terse and snippy discussion peppered with F-bombs and lots of ‘I ate extra crispy every day dammit, I know where the bleeping KFC is dumb a$$.’ “You’re a loser!” Albert yells. Yeah… grown men over there!
Tonight is an all-new episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. We’ve been hearing for weeks about Joe Giudice‘s explosive phone call when he is captured on film referring toTeresa Giudice as his “bitch wife” among other things. Well, tonight it finally makes it on air!
Teresa recently appeared on the cover of In Touch Weekly, where she vowed to leave Joe if he was caught cheating and claimed Le Juicy one is “sorry” for his actions. Anyone see any pigs flying lately? Oh yeah… me either!
Well Reality Tea’s source tell us EXCLUSIVELY that Joe’s is anything but sowry and is tired of being second fiddle to Teresa’s RHONJ success. Those Giudices really make a lot of insincere apologies, don’t they?
CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR THE REST OF RT’S EXCLUSIVE!
Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey, the ladies (and their omnipresent hardworking spouses) proved that when push comes to shove and contracts are on the line, they can get along like really, really well. In fact the only people not pasting on their happy faces were Caroline Manzo and husband Albert – who I was surprised to hear speak last night.
Things begin with a wake-up binge drink-a-thon amongst the men. The gang decides they are going surfing despite the freezing cold water and their inebriated state of mind. Everyone except Caroline and Al. They prefer whine to wine. Jacqueline Laurita is also sitting this one out because she feels too fat to wear a wetsuit. Didn’t she have this problem last vacation?
Never willing to spare anyone’s feelings both Teresa Giudice and separated at birth sister-in-law Melissa Gorga both strap on some of their more bodacious, sparkly, and revealing bathing suits. ‘LOOK! I’m not fat!’ they both practically shout. The guys are wiping out left and right when Teresa and Kathy Wakile decide to try out their surfboard skills. Melissa is staying ashore to “keep it sexy,” which apparently equals bedazzled. Very, very bedazzled. Like blindingly so.