Back in my last life when I taught first grade, I used to read "Which Witch Is Which" to my students around Halloween. For some reason, when I watch this season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the same question resonates in my head! Is it the actual Wiccan Carlton Gebbia? Kyle Richards for her comments? Brandi Glanville? I just don't know anymore. Of course, Carlton thinks there is no bigger bwitch (my new hybrid word) in 90210 than Splits and Joyce Giraud. I think someone needs to Escape from Witch Mountain! Who's with me? Kim? (Sorry, couldn't resist!).
In her Bravo blog, Carlton has had enough of the judgment and hypocrisy, so she goes and does the proper amount of judgment towards Kaftan Kyle herself. Perhaps these ladies should be friends as they seem to act in the same general manner!
Everything Housewives gets "gated". And here on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills we have graduated from cheating-gate, and hair-gate, and lastminutecancellation-gate, to necklace-gate; and most excitingly: you'recursed-gate. It's been a while since we've had a good curse on Housewives #Season1CamilleGrammer #Pernicious.
So that's what we're dealing with here and like sand through the hourglass these here are the days of our caftans. Cause you know, Kyle Richards was on Days of Our Lives for a splits richards second.
Anyway, Brandi Glanville has a problem with her tongue and her mouth and her speech and her general planet trashiness was affected by wonky aspirin. Which is a good thing because she also has a problem with *gasp* Lisa Vanderpump. Appprrrrrntly, Lisa holds within her bejeweled hands the power to deport people, destroy their lives, poison their aspirin, and dig up their ex-husband's long-dead mistress from the grave to release her from her coffin on the very moment when you walk into a Bravo-sponsored season finale party at her restaurant. Or something like that that. Cause if anyone knows how to work a good curse it's not plastic tits on a tan witch Snarlton Gebbia, but Giggy-loving Lisa!
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here's a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
Above: Jenni Pulos shared, "Happy Valentine's Day! Love conquers all!"
Many, many seasons ago Splits Richardswas the queen's lady-in-waiting, but she aspired to be the queen. She teamed up with an evil stepsister named Adrienne and was exposed for talking ish about the queen and conspiring to tear her down. She even compared the queen's ruling to a mad, mad game of chess!
The queen was hurt so she built a beautiful fortress high in the hills surrounded by roses, which are very beautiful and fragrant but guard their beauty with thorns. Meanwhile the lady-in-waiting wilted and wilted until all the was left was a sad mass of yesteryear's hair. She desperately wanted a place in the sun again and begged the queen for forgiveness. The queen reminded her that she had looked into her crystal ball – Swarvoski crystal, hand-cut and cast, mind you – and realized that the friendship had never been true because once people show themselves to you, the giggy is up.
The cast didn't share too much info yesterday during filming, but Andy and the crew did share a few snaps along the way. Above (now below) is Andy with the always fashionable Giggy. He captioned the pic, "Oh LORD we JUST wrapped #RHOBHReunion – it is a DOOZY. very emotional." Andy also shared about the day, "Still shooting #RHOBHReunion – all I can say is I would've made a damn good therapist."
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Joyce Giraud is fed up with Carlton Gebbia and her shenanigans. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star slams Carlton, calling her a hypocrite, accusing her of trying to stay relevant and more! Joyce shares in her Bravo blog this week that she's not sorry one bit for missing another dinner party from hell and she gives more insight on her lunch with Carlton.
Joyce starts off explaining that we didn't see the whole lunch date conversation between her and Carlton. "I wish you could have seen a little more of my hour-long luncheon with Carlton. Let me fill you in on a VERY IMPORTANT part of our conversation: The first thing I told Carlton and made very clear is that I personally DO NOT believe her negative energy can get to me because my God protects me from all of it. As you saw, I told her I respect every religion. I believe we can all respect each other's beliefs and we don't need to force our faith on anyone. I'm not asking Carlton to leave her witchcraft and to believe in Jesus Christ — so she should give me the same respect and not expect me to believe in her negative spells."
Last night Carlton Gebbia really let the witch out of the bag – flying broomsticks, evil spells, creepy crystal floral talismans and all!
Kyle Richards andLisa Vanderpump are friends-ish again. Well at least for the sake of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills purposes. Since Ken and Mauricio truly are friends, Kyle and Lisa decide to get together with Kevin Lee (!!) to throw a joint birthday party. Oh Kevin Lee… let's discuss what's going on atop your head: part Brillo pad, part tasered porcupine: too much hair gel, mmmkay.
As Lisa and Kyle divvy up the guest list Kyle gets all porcupiney – she just wants to know why there's gotta be teams allocating who invites whom.
UGH – let's just take a moment to discuss Kyle. Listen, Kyle was annoying me the whole episode: she kept making her little snarky comments, making everything into a bigger deal than it was, and sneaking in shade while acting like everything was fine – basically she was Splits-ing. But then CARLTON! Snarlton… SNARLTON with her Wicked Witch of The Valley complete with California Raisin face had to go all wicca-wacka and made me feel bad for Kyle. There's more to Kyle's witchiness than her fondness for flowing robes, but compared to Snarlton, Kyle is a sweet innocent.
Joyce was doing a photoshoot for an upcoming issue of the digital magazine Naluda. I've never heard of the mag, but it's described as "a free, fresh monthly publication covering topics on lifestyle, fashion, travel, social events and activities, at Naluda we aim to provide our readers the most interesting, useful and up to date information."
Joyce Tweeted about her day of shooting, which featured this see through dress/skirt and black sequined bustier. "It's a wrap! @naludamagazine @paulanthonylove @thestyleguide @lafashionweek I loved today! The team was simply amazing can't wait to see the pics." You can see more pictures of her day below.