You have to love what constitutes a star these days…especially in the eyes of ABC execs when they are casting Dancing with the Stars. You can't really blame them though…whenLindsay Lohan turns down the show, it may be time to call it quits.
As always, rumors are swirling about who may foxtrotting across the ballroom. Some of the names being tossed around are more believable than others, and some would be pure television gold if the gossip proves to be true. Likewise, the speculation is often more exciting than the dancing itself. ABC's Bachelorette darling Emily Maynard's name has been thrown into the mix, as well as Here Comes Honey Boo Boo matriarch June Shannon. How amazing would that be?
There is nothing like the Shannon Thompson crew sporting tacky Christmas sweaters for yet another Here Comes Honey Boo Boo holiday special. It's a tad depressing to be watching all the Christmas preparations almost two months after the fact, but I am sure I will soon be thanking my lucky stars that I didn't spend my Christmas being sneezed on by any member of this family!
The episode begins with the June, Sugar Bear, Uncle Poodle and the girls decorating for Christmas and preparing for the crew's annual canned food and toy drive. I must commend them for their charity work. Last year, they were able to help 108 families in need, and this year June's goal is to raise $10,000 in donations. Sugar Bear is in charge of decorating the yard with countless light up plastic candy canes and nativity scenes, and I'm sure there will be some giant inflatable snow globes in the mix…a girl can dream at least. In the days leading up until Christmas, the family will spend their evenings standing in the overly decorated yard with Sugar Bear dressed up as Santa. Folks will come from miles around to see the debacle and donate items to the charity. They locate the plastic baby Jesus in the shed, but alas, his toes have been chewed off by some animal. I can barely get the phrase "forklift foot" out of my mouth before Chubbs steals my thunder.
Some of the decorations have seen better days, but June refuses to throw anything away. She attempts to fix a light-up white tree to no avail, declaring it the "Leaning Tree of Pisa." Alana shares that her mother is a hoarder and is also "bat poop crazy" when it comes to Christmas decorations. Hey, at least she said "poop," right? June is quite the handy woman with a roll of duct tape. Alana stays out of the way…singing a lullaby to the plastic baby Jesus before sneezing on him. I knew it was coming! I have to give it to June, she goes all out with the decorations, and she takes a lot of pride in their yard as it shows their Christmas spirit.
Love them or hate them, the Shannon Thompson family has catapulted to international stardom for nothing more than being their normal, everyday selves. Sure, the majority of people think that their normal, everyday selves are unhealthy and a bit gross, but nonetheless, they truly seem to love and accept one another.
Now the crew from Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is facing some sad news, but something tells me the family is going to pull through it even stronger. Sugar Bear's brother and Alana Thompson's beloved Uncle Poodle, Lee Thompson, has just announced that he is HIV positive. In an interview Poodle explains that he wants to use his diagnosis as a platform to put an end to bullying.
I would like to personally thank whoever at TLC had the briliant idea to put June Shannon, Sugar Bear, and family into Pilgrim garb for the opening sequence of their Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Thanksgiving special. It was amazing.
We begin the special in the hospital, where Mama June and Sugar Bear are talking to a groggy Pumpkin. Unfortunately, the key catching incident from Halloween was worse than they originally thought, and Pumpkin had to have emergency surgery for a detached retina. Poor girl! Sugar Bear plays the doting father figure (seriously, how sweet a guy is he?), while June plays with her daughter's belly fat. A drugged up Pumpkin just slurs her disdain. Back at home, Pumpkin is on strict bed rest, so June gives her a metal bowl and spoon to bang if she needs assistance. They are like a family of fat McGyvers!
TRAIN! Alana is working on a project for school about the first Thanksgiving. She knows there were turkeys and that the Indians Native Americans ended up getting screwed over with a crappy meal and some casinos. She also knows that the Pilgrims came over on the Mayship the Flowership the Mayflower. According to Chubbs, this happened in 1942 (near the time of Pearl Harbor) when Christopher Columbus discovered the new world. Close, Chubbs. Very close. The first Thanksgiving meal was held at the Piedmont. Wait, no. Kribbet's Rot. Make that Plymouth Rock. I'm getting much dumber by watching these two minutes of television, but it is totally worth it. And TRAIN…twice!
Pick on June Shannon and her family all you want, but you have to hand it to this reality TV mom for having a good financial head on her shoulders.
June has said in the past that she won't change the way her family lives just because they're earning good money on reality TV. June is frugal and wise, knowing that Here Comes Honey Boo Boo won't last forever, so she saves every cent she can. The celebrity mama is squirreling away all that TLC money for her daughters' futures.
Alana Thompson and her redneckognizing family are back with a slew of holiday specials. First up? It's Halloween! If the group's time at Shhh! It's A Wig is any indication, we are in for a wild, wild ride. I have not been quiet in my love for all things Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, but last night was overkill. Don't get me wrong, I still love this family, but TLC needs to differentiate between thirty minutes of hilarious redneck reveling and an hour of dragging out poor Sugar Bear in a wheelchair. Although, how awesome was he with baby Kaitlyn?
Oh Lord, I don't even know what to say. Two minutes into the special we are treated to June napping haphazardly across her bed and Pumpkin emerging from the crawl space beneath the house (just how close does that train come to their home??) with some nastiness she's found. Pumpkin ties said nastiness to a 2×4 and dangles it over her mother's face. I can only imagine what the remaining fifty-eight minutes have in store. As for Chubbs, Chickadee, and Smoochie, they love Halloween for the sweets. As Alana so eloquently sings/raps, "Halloween is all about the treats…treatin' myself to candy!" She's practically autotuned!
Poor Sugar Bear is in a wheelchair due to a recent surgery, and Pumpkin wants to dress up Chickadee's baby as a cheese ball for Halloween. The baby is precious! June shares that Halloween is a special time for her family, given that the girls love to dress up (well, duh, they are a pageant fam!), and they love to eat candy. I'd say that's a fair assessment. The family is decorating the yard for Halloween, and I have never seen such an assortment of pumpkin inflatables. There's that darn train again…I'd make spotting the train a drinking game, but I fear that I wouldn't be able to make it through this recap! June and Sugar Bear gather up the girls to head to the pumpkin patch. I'm so happy to see they already have their Christmas lights up on their house. That should make preparation for the yuletide holiday special that much easier.
Le sads… tonight is the last night of 2012. Aaaahhh… it's been a good year for drama but a bad year for the explosive combo of fashion and reality TV! Last week we did a list of our best dressed reality stars, so it's only fair to honor the good and the bad.
Below is our list of the number one reality television fashion offenders. Oh, the list is long, quite long but since there are only twelve months in the year we decided to do one per month.
Santa Claus had better redneckognize! My favorite precocious six-year-old is very excited about this time of year, and she's anxiously awaiting a visit from the jolly, bearded guy in a red suit…and I don't mean Sugar Bear in July!
The breakout reality star may have catapulted to super stardom this year thanks to her hit show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, but Alana Thompson is just a regular girl when it comes to celebrating Christmas, and Mama June has made sure to keep her youngest daughter very grounded. On the heels of being named one of Barbara Walters' Ten Most Fascinating People, Alana is focused on the same thing that all children are excited about this time of year–the holidays!