The Men Tell All, The Parade of Tools, The Reincarnation of the 3 Stooges… however you label it, it’s still the Bachelorette starring Emily Maynard<yawn> Two hours of video recaps and retells taped in front of one very reactive audience <SCREAMS!> makes me wish I drank wine.
Chris Harrison welcomes us by asking, “Who here would finally like to see Emily find the love of her life?” Raising my hand! If it means she’ll go away, then, by all means, let’s get this woman hitched. Jef Holm and Arie Luyendyk, Jr. are not there, but the men who escaped a lifetime of love few short months of happiness with Emily are. Yippee.
Sean is there! <SCREAMS!> Kalon is there! <BOO!> Seriously, the audience is so over the top.
“I will confirm it, he’s not the Bachelor, we’ve not named anybody to be the Bachelor yet,” the show’s host tells the site.
“We don’t need to, we don’t name anybody so early,” Chris explains. “I love the speculation and that people are talking about our show but we just don’t need to make decisions yet.”
Don’t get him wrong, he loves Roberto. He says, “He is a great guy, I love Roberto. First of all I hear he’s stunningly handsome, and he’s a very nice guy, he has a lot to offer and would be a great Bachelor. I would put my vote behind him but luckily I don’t have a vote.”
It’s Bachelor Pad time, y’all! And ABC has finally released the cheesy bikini shots of the cast members who have given up their public quest for love and instead have decided to embark on a public quest for money. ABC is promising the most controversial season yet. That’s what they always say.
[Photo Credits: ABC.com]
Bachelor Pad 3 premiers July 23 at 8/7c on ABC.
ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT BACHELOR PAD? THOUGHTS ON ADDING THE “SUPER FANS” TO THE LINE-UP?
Last week on the Bachelorette, Emily Maynard said goodbye to Travis Pope (egg guy) and Ryan Bowers (sweet talker) in Croatia. This week, Emily wants us to believe she handles her own luggage as she and the remaining suckers suitors head to Prague. Chris Harrison meets the men in Prague to remind them this is the the last set of dates before the hometown dates. Also, he explains how this week is going to go down. There will be three one-on-one dates and one group date. There will be a rose up for grabs on the group date but not on the one-on-one dates.
The six remaining bachelors are Arie Luyendyk Jr., John Wolfner, Chris Bukowski, Doug Clerget, Jef Holm, and Sean Lowe. The first date goes to Arie. The date card reads, “Let’s Czech out Prague together.” Emily’s date outfit is interesting – knee-high boots, Ricki’s bedazzled shorts, button up shirt that she forgot to finish buttoning, and a suit jacket. Out of the blue, Emily lets us know she knows something about Arie but he doesn’t know she knows. Very soon after this revelation it’s painfully obvious that Emily is going to resort to passive aggressive hints for most of the date rather than talking to Arie about what she knows. Very mature, Emily.
Ali Fedotowsky‘s ex-fiancé Roberto Martinez is rumored to be the next Bachelor. With Roberto and his delicious dimples getting so much attention, is former Bachelor and Bachelorette star Ali also hoping for another chance? Returning to the show isn’t out of the question. Brad Womack recently gave it another try. He’s still single and now we’re stuck with the yawn-fest that is Emily Maynard, but he tried. Will Ali follow Brad’s example and return to the show?
“I don’t think so – at least, not in the near future. I think it’s way too soon for something like that. So not right now, no,” she tells Wetpaint. So, that’s a no to the Bachelorette (for now). Ali‘s single and ready to mingle though!! Ali says, “I’m single right now. I’ve actually been single this entire time, despite what you may have heard! I’ve been on one or two semi-dates…I’m not even sure you would call them actual dates. But I’m ready. I’m ready!”
This week on The Bachelorette, Emily Maynard and her minions are in Croatia. The previews suggest that Ryan Bowers is the punching bag of the week. Also, we should expect lots of kissing and some drama at the rose ceremony. Could it be? Really for real – the most shocking rose ceremony ever?!?
According to Jef Holm, Croatia is the perfect place to fall in love. I beg to differ. I met my (now) husband at Wal-Mart 16 years ago, and he’s been wooing me ever since. Croatia vs. Wal-Mart – really, it’s no contest. The always-classy Wal-Mart wins, right? If Emily insists on making it complicated, we might as well see what Croatia has to offer.
Emily surprises the guys by hand delivering the first date card. It goes to Travis Pope and reads, “Let’s look for love beyond the walls.” Travis was engaged once before. He says, “When it didn’t work out, it was the lowest point in my life.” Lower than befriending an ostrich egg and naming it Shelly? Wow. That must have been really low.
Bachelor Pad returns on July 23 on ABC! Which The Bachelor and The Bachelorette rejects will get a second (third, fourth, fifth) chance at finding true love on reality TV? Ha, only if you’re Holly Durst and Blake Julian. More than likely, this ego-heavy cast is more interested in hooking up and collecting the cash prize of $250,000. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I like my TV to be dirty and not too deep.
New twist this season – six hand-selected super fans of the franchise will join the Bachelor Pad fun. Fresh meat!!
Perhaps one of the most self-absorbed contestants is none other than Emily Maynard‘s pariah Kalon McMahon. Kalon, the luxury brand consultant whose preferred mode of transportation is a helicopter, got himself kicked to the curb this week after referring to Emily’s daughter as budget-basement baggage. The comment brought out Emily’s West Virginia hood rat backwoods side, which is the most exciting thing to happen all season. If Kalon can bring personality out of Emily, I’m all for his presence on the Bachelor Pad!
There are ten bachelors left on ABC’s wildly successful entertaining The Bachelorette. This week, the guys score a free trip to London. Yes, Emily Maynard is there too, as there’s always a catch. The guys are checking out the scenery when the first date card comes into play. The one-on-one date goes to Sean Lowe. Date card reads, “Love takes no prisoners.” Emily and Sean tour London. Sean speaks to the people of London about love. Sean is my favorite bachelor thus far; however, this date is dreadfully boring. The date card should have read, “Emily brings the history lesson while Sean brings the pretty.”
The group date card arrives. It reads, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” The mushroom farmer is the first to connect this quote to Shakespeare. I don’t know the rate at which mushrooms grow, so he might have a lot of free time in the fields to read tragic tales such as Romeo and Juliet. Or, a producer might have written the answer on his hand. The group date goes to…