Last night was the season finale of Real Housewives of Atlanta. I would say it was a little sweet and a little classy, but it wasn't. It was mostly a lotta ratchet.
See Kenya Moore threw the big end of the season party. And at Kenya's party she wants things her way – or the highway. Well, parking lot at least. Kenya decided her Atlanta "coming out" event would be an Iconic Black Women In Film gala. She assigned all the ladies of RHOA a character because there was to be some sort of performance associated with the role. The only performing I saw was a low-budget runway show in which they all waltzed up on stage did a couple hip pops and sat back down on a folding chair in the audience. Apparently that's how Krayonce defines a play though cause she was two shades of bent out of bootyshape about Porsha Stewart coming in the wrong costume.
Our favorite reality TV stars can’t get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
Last night Real Housewives of Atlanta was a total filler before the finale episode, which meant it was low on drama as Bravo lets us go into withdrawal in preparation for next week!
Things begin at Kandi Burruss' housewarming party where one furious former beauty queen is storming around, causing a tornado and unleashing the twirl of death. She's knocking over plants, tossing things at unsuspecting guests, laser eyebeams seeking her next victim as everyone cowers in fear hiding behind their wine glasses. It's only Kenya Moore, but that's like saying it's only the atomic bomb.
As Walter Jackson and "date" scurry out the back door, Kenya's mane of death is twirling faster and faster and faster while she screams "SECURITY!" until Don Juan is dispatched to guide this furious storm to the safety of the parking lot. There, her only victim may be an unsuspecting Bentley – its life cut perilously short by an enraged Miss TWIRL-S-A.
Kenya rants and raves about how Walter is stalking her and ruining all her social functions by showing up to intentionally destroy her. 'Get this Bentley out of my way Don Juan because I swear I'm about to pretend it's Walter and render it impotent. Oh wait – Walter is already impotent. Didn't you know?!'
Kim has been doing nothing but talking – and trashing Kandi – to the media, on twitter, and with really badly written and poorly editedPR statements. Now Kandi, represented by fellow Real Housewives of Atlanta star Phaedra Parks, is explaining what led to the lawsuit. And as predicted Kandi is saving most of her comments for their day in court!
"It’s time for the whole ordeal to be over. I asked TuneCore to take the song down in December 2012. They did. Kim sent an affidavit to put it back up, which they did," Kandi reveals in her statement. "TuneCore then informed me that in order for the song to be taken down permanently I would need to file suit to have it removed."
Kandi and co-plaintiff Rodney Richard (aka Don Vito), who is the co-writer and co-producer, are suing TuneCore along with Kim!
A week after Kandi Burrussfiled a lawsuit against Kim in federal court over royalties, non-payment, and rights to use the song 'Tardy For The Party,' Kim continues to desperately exonerate herself by slamming Kandi in the media and on twitter. Among other things, Kim has called Kandi a famewhore seeking publicity and a liar. Kandi has not commented.
Going one step further, the Don't Be Tardy star put out an official press release giving her perspective on the lawsuit. It is of no surprise that Kim takes no responsibility and accuses Kandi of lies and negligence. Furthermore this is the most professional (ha!) press release ever. Is Brielle not only Kim's songwriter but her PR rep too?
"The lawsuit led by Kandi Burruss and Rodney Richard aka Don Vito against Kim Zolciak-Biermann over the song 'Tardy For The Party' is without merit and suspicious in its timing," Kim's official statement begins.
Last night on Real Housewives of Atlanta we dealt with the ghosts of fauxlationships past when Bravo the ladies did everything in their power to force a confrontation between former business partners boyfriend and girlfriend Kenya Moore and Walter Jackson. Much to my dismay, that did not happen. As a small consolation we got several delusional talking head rants from Kenya and one Kenyantrum.
Before any of that happened Porsha Stewart tried to navigate the nearly impossible task of taking a pregnancy test. EPT stands for Error Proof Test… until Porsha gets her hands on it! Girl actually thought you had to pee for two whole minutes instead of waiting 2 minutes for the results.
Porsha and Kordell poured over the instructions in panicked frustration for about an hour like it was a map to buried treasure. And Kontroll doesn't want to hire a nanny? Lord help us all… And correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Porsha pregnant before? She has definitely done the whole pee on a stick song and dance. Anyway, she's not pregnant. And poor Porsha looked really sad to realize that once again the yams had not worked. All she got for her troubles was some orange poop and one completely apathetic Kontroll. Worst. Reaction. Ever.