Well, I have to recap the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion, don’t I? Cause at this point I don’t think there’s much left to say except #BlackBabyGate is still rearing its ugly head, Phaedra Parks really doesn’t know (or want to admit) what Apollo Nida‘s job is, She by SheBroke is a complete idiot. Oh! And Marlo Hampton called Kim Zolciak a whore! Yeah, that happened, indeed it did! Whew – what a moment. What. A. Moment.
Really, we could skip all the other parts and go straight to that, because it’s the only part that really truly matters. It went a little like this: Marlo walks out, rocking pin-straight hair and a dress with shoulders constructed from a bathmat (Project Runway challenge?). She sat down, said no one liked her once she became friends with NeNe Leakes, copped to her charges, denied having her bills paid by Mr. Ted Turner, confirmed she still had a lot of work to do learning etiquette, and then she came out with it. Kim, you’re a whore! Apparently this was in response to something Kim said on the show about Marlo being an escort (which is all but proven fact at this point) with a large ladyhole. All class, no trash!
Frankly, I couldn’t believe it. Marlo just came out and said it – ‘Oh, I think we’re cut from the same cloth… you know, cheap polyester, maybe nylon – oh, wait no… No, we’re not. I’m cut from 10-ply cashmere and you – you’re a whore. You’re just some cheap acrylic. Google my charges! Cause prison uniforms are totally made from luxurious fibers.’
Marlo had it all planned out – she was practically reading a script NeNe had written for her and handily printed up on Gucci stationary; except I really don’t think NeNe was involved in this – nor Bravo, for once – I think Marlo acted as the lone honey badger. Vicious, crazy, and totally entertaining in a sadistic way. That being said – she needs to leave the show. And really, really study that etiquette manual. Like, non-stop. And Kim should be her study partner.
So, Marlo prances out and somehow gets into a screaming fight with Kim about who’s a whore and who’s an escort. It turns out that now that Kim is married, she’s neither a whore nor an escort and that whole Big Poppa charade never happened. Seriously- anytime anyone brings it up she points to her ring and says she’s a married woman now. Ok, but like Marlo said, she used to be a home-wrecking harlot flaunting it on TV and loving every minute of it; waving that big ol’ rock around! So she was basically a whore, but really Marlo: Pot meet Kettle.
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