In last night’s installment of The Hunger Games: MockingShade 2, the ladies of Real Housewives Of Atlanta insulted each other on every level, then took a break to pass a dildo between their caftans on a beach, and then returned to insulting each other on every level. I like my Housewives classy like that!
We’re at dinner where Claudia Jordan is a whore and NeNe Leakes is fat with seething jealousy and shops at Ross. Now Claudia, you can read NayNay, but please don’t read Ross! I have gotten many things at Ross, including fabulous glasses made to look like Solo Cups! NeNe snaps that her dress is “RUNWAY!” Because when you got them coins they make RUNWAY in your size. That must be the reason NeNe’s dress looks like leftover remains of a circus tent in a Project Runway challenge. “Auf wiedersehen,” Ms. Leakes.
Claudia rips NeNe for her plastic “hair hat” glued to her head. T’is true – for someone so very rich NeNe has the worst wigs – she may have coins, but she does not use them to pay a hair gay!
Kenya titled her first blurb DISRESPECTFUL FEET. “I am a supportive friend and was happy to accompany Claudia to the podiatrist. BUT… I was not prepared for those disrespectful feet! I tried not to make direct eye contact with them, but they kept acting up!! Seriously, CJ and I have been cool for over 20 years, and we can laugh together. We don’t take things too seriously.”
Was anyone else totally confused by this episode of Real Housewives Of Atlanta? I don’t know what was more disturbing: the majorly disjointed story or Claudia Jordan‘s feet. I need some clarity on motives here – and also on shade, which I thought was genteel and left one guessing, not obviously wrong like a bunion crusted-foot.
The clips set-up this episode to be a big show-down in Puerto Rico between the establishment and the upstarts (not unlike an episode of Downton Abbey, although I dare say Lady Mary’s reads are far superior to anyone on RHOA). And yes, that did happen, but I felt like we’re missing some serious backstory. Was there a reason Phaedra Parks is suddenly gunning for Demetria McKinney like Evander Holyfield? Is Phaedra in love with Roger Bobb too? Speaking which, I beginning to believe Roger the Friendly Ghost comes from Claudia’s mysterious sugar daddy connect – or Kenya Moore‘s over-active iMANgination!
Kandi insists she had no idea that her friend Gocha was coming until last-minute and had no idea Demetria was supposedly dating Roger Bobb at the same Gocha was!
First Kandi updates fans on what’s been happening in her life. “The end of my year really sucked to be honest, and I didn’t feel up to blogging. Every time an episode aired someone in my family was upset about something. It’s crazy doing this show, because whenever a disagreement happens although you get past it, you end up having tension all over again when it airs on TV.”
I was assigned the task of naming the worst dressed reality TV stars of 2014. My first thought was, this post going to be a piece of cake. My second thought was, wait, the photo gallery has a limit of 40?!?
Of course, the union of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian was the biggest “to do” of them all, but not necessarily in a good way. From parading their terrible fashions (again and again and again) all over Paris and Florence to throwing a tacky wedding reception, it was an exhausting time for us all.
Believe it or not, eleven other couples DARED to get married the same year as KANYE WEST. If you search, there’s probably an epic, egotistical rant on the internet about it. Anyway, the “other” wedding ceremonies, receptions, dresses ranged from tasteless to exquisite, and everything in between.
Demetria McKinney‘s story has changed… On Real Housewives of Atlanta, she admitted to Cynthia Bailey that she and Roger Bobb were “on” the same period of time Gocha said she dated Roger Bobb. “I’m almost positive she’s lying,” said Demetria. “I don’t know her, but I know him.” Now, it happened, but while they were “off.”
“I went to Kandi’s sexy party in an effort to get to know these ladies a bit better, relax, and enjoy a Kandi Koated Night,” said Demetria. “And two-year-old tea gets spilled by random girl #673 hoping for a cameo?! I actually feel bad for her. You need that light so badly that you’d openly confess that your shining moment came from being on your back?! Girl! Never again admit to being a sock (Definition: Something to keep his stuff warm during the cold moment of a break up). I have made it known that Roger and I have been in – and out – of our relationship over the span of eight years. Blue’s Clues happened when we were not together.”
Last night on Real Housewives Of Atlanta things were shocking, in the invisible fence way. Invisible fences are harder to climb over, as the ladies found out.
Cynthia Bailey had a dream and that dream is rapidly becoming a nightmare. Because Cynthia is going into business with Peter to open the new Bar One!
Misguidedly, Cynthia is honored that Payday Loan Peter, chose her checking account and she will no longer be a silent fibroid, but a living, breathing bank account. The delusion: it runs deep – certainly deeper than the zeros in ol’ CB’s savings account. Who does Peter think he is married to – NeNeLeakes?!
Cynthia has a dream and that dream is that people do not believe rumors about how she finances all his foolish shenanigans and he married her for a TV show, free vodka, and VIP strip club access.