Last night was the finale of Kandi's Wedding. Of all of Bravo's weddings, this one may have been my favorite. It was really unique, the performances and venue were really fabulous, plus Kandi Burruss and Todd Tucker seem to be genuinely and madly in love in a really sincere way. Am I crazy?
Before all the happiness, we have to wrap up last week's melodrama! With the prenup still unresolved, Todd bails on the rehearsal dinner but leaves his mommy Sharon there, alone, to fend for herself among the wolves. Or at the very least – wolf: Mama Joyce. Kandi and Todd have a fraught conversation about why he won't sign. Todd insists he doesn't care about money, but Kandi argues that if that's true he would sign. It's unfortunate that she's letting her 'Mama Joyce' show and arguing about leaving her husband something in her will if she dies – the night before her wedding.
When The Notorious B.I.G. coined the above phrase I'm sure he never envisioned it being so oft quoted. As if Kandi Burruss doesn't have enough drama surrounding her wedding and relationship, she and Todd Tucker are now having last-minute prenup problems.
Last night on Kandi's Wedding the soon-to-be-spouses (we hope!) celebrated their bachelor and bachelorette parties (both sleazy in their own ways) and unfortunately were not able to come to an agreement regarding the prenup which Kandi handed to Bravo's stunt queenTodd's attorney literally 2 days before the nuptials.
Todd's first mistake seems to be hiring NeNe Leakesand Porsha Stewart's former attorney. At this point he's a Bravo employee now, right? Whatever the case he loves messiness as much as his former clients do! He tells Todd he would not sign the prenup as is because there are certain clauses that are down-right unfair and do not protect Todd's long-term interest. For instance there is nothing to protect Todd's assets if he ends up being the main breadwinner in the future, if Kandi dies Todd loses everything, and there's nothing protecting future businesses they may build together.
Last night on Kandi's Wedding it was all out mommy wars! Interestingly, it seems no one in Kandi Burruss' life likes each other. Her Matron of Honor, Tan, and her Maid of Honor, Carmon cannot stand each other, Mama Joyce hates everyone and her new target is Todd Tucker's mother Sharon.
Since everything in Kandi's life is topsy-turvy and it's clear she doesn't use her words to communicate with people, she and Todd visit their pastor for some pre-marital counseling. Todd seems to be taking it seriously, but Kandi initially starts out joking around. Eventually the subject of Joyce comes up and the pastor instructs the couple not to let negative influences destroy their happiness. "Communicate before you disintegrate!"
As Kandi continues to plan her wedding, Carmon and Tan meet with her to test cakes. With all the testiness in the room, Kandi could have been tasting ice cream cake. She ignores it by scarfing down alllll the cake samples and practically licking the plate. I think we call that emotional eating. Basically Carmon thinks Tan is an uptight square who is no fun and Tan thinks Carmon is a flaky boozehound. In the battle of Carmon vs. Tan, I'm team Carmon because who doesn't like fun?
Kandi Burruss' ideas about planning a wedding in 5 weeks are as crazy as Joyce's ideas about, well, anything – but most specifically Todd Tucker. Last night was illuminating because it seems Mama Joyce gave Kandi's father Titus 'The Todd Treatment' way back when they were married! So let's dive right in – it's juicy, but in the manner of a car crash or Lindsay Lohan wandering around Rodeo Drive sans panties.
Kandi meets her dad for dinner to see if he'd be willing to officiate her ceremony. He is of course in agreement. Kandi reveals that for many years following her parents' divorce Titus, now a pastor, was barely around and she did not see him for years. And it turns out that likely has everything to do with V For Vendetta: The Mama Joyce Modus Operandi.