Is anything ever what it seems in Kardashialand? Who’s marrying whom? Which sister is knocked up? Which sister is divorcing? Which sister is forced to forgo college plans so she can bank roll her mother? Where did Rob go? Do they just bring him out of the basement when they need him? It’s a hurricane of uncertainty with the Kardashian Krew.
In recent weeks, all eyes have been on Klamar and the state of their union. The couple has decided not to continue with reality show, and in an effort to lay low (Kardashian style, of course) Khloe Kardashian was on the cover of People magazine discussing the pair’s marriage. Baby steps. The most quotable from that interview was Khloe relaying, “I like to think divorce is not an option.” Tabloids and blogs everywhere (cough, cough) are now jumping to dissect the phrase “I like to think” in her statement.
Aaahhh… Kim Kardashian, no matter how much you try to distract us with Kimye; your divorce is not going away! And to remind us of how skanky and greedy you are is Kris Humphries!
This past week Kimye enjoyed a PDA-laden dinner at Scott Disick‘s new restaurant RYU, which was of course captured on film for one of the umpteen Kardashian reality shows (for which they recently scored a $40M deal to create). While Kim is focused on making-out, Kris is still focused on annulling that embarrassing 72-day-lapse in sanity also known as his marriage to Kimmie Kakes. And allegedly, Kanye is now part of his plan for proving the Kardashians’ shameless ways!
“Kris was surprised to learn that Kim was including her new relationship with Kanye West on the show,” a source close to Kris tells RadarOnline.”The crux of Kris’ case for annulment is that Kim married him under fraudulent pretenses and did it for her reality show. Team Humphries wants to know if producers of the Kardashian reality shows were in contact with Kanye prior to the new couple dating or going public with their relationship and what those conversations consisted of.”
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Well, I have some unfortunate news, so I hope you’re all sitting down. The Kardashians will definitely NOT be leaving our TV’s anytime soon – or our pop culture lexicon. Despite Kim Kardashian‘s sham wedding (with accompanying very public divorce) and the tremendous negative backlash from the media and the public, American’s favorite famewhores have just inked a $40 Million three-year reality television deal with E!. So, if this doesn’t confirm that Kimye is a publicity stunt – really, I don’t know what would!
Yes, despite petitions, and threats, and absolute proof that their shows are staged crap – they will be back whether we like it or not!
Ironically the numbers for last season’s KUWTK averaged only about 3 M viewers per episode – on par (or below) with most Housewives, but apparently the Kardashians’ scandals and drama are worth their weight in gold for the network; which basically exists purely to broadcast the family’s lives. The deal does not include any new shows! So when Kim and Kanye West start pimping out their totally authentic romance, they will iron out their own deal. Which means more ka-ching!
The less famous and thereby second-rate family members, Rob Kardashian along withKylie andKendall Jenner will receive considerably less. Scott Disick and Mason also get a cut of the profit, but they have a separate deal with the network. You know Kris was trying to insure against any possible break-ups!
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Ahhhhh… Kimye. By far the most annoying celebrity moniker and accompanying celebrity couple since Bennifer. Remember them? Right, I expect Kimye to end in about the same way. Broken engagement, huge drama, and non-stop tabloid coverage about how they’re still secretly in love with each other 45 years later. But who knows – they could end up as happy in love as Brangelina!
So, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have been parading their famewhoring love everywhere imaginable. And, apparently, things are going swimmingly for the couple. So swimmingly, that Kimmie Kakes has already shackled one of Kanye’s little swimmers to her uterus! That’s right folks – Kim just may be knocked up! I could have said pregnant, but that doesn’t start with a K.
“Kim is worried she could be pregnant!;” a source dishes. According to Star Magazine (via their print edition) Kim was recently spotted leaving a LA medical building with a contemplative look on her face. She could you know, be getting birth control or an exam, but that’s not nearly exciting enough gossip. The news is apparently joyful for the barely dating couple, as Kim desperately wants to start a family. So, anyone else think this is a complete publicity stunt? This has Kris Jenner‘s grubby little fingerprints all over it…
However, Kim is worried Kanye isn’t as rich as he purports to be! And before she moves forward wants a forensic exam of his bank account. “She wants to make sure Kanye’s worth as much she thinks,” the insider says. And if his pockets are deep enough, Kim will “move forward with the relationship.”
Unfortunately, things aren’t all wine, roses, and baby showers for the couple as they’ve already started fighting over Kim’s most favorite thing in all the world – money! “Kim really loves Kanye, but she loves money just as much – if not more!;” an insider reveals to Star. “She’s hoping that in the end, she’ll get both.”
Just last week the couple got into their first fight and it was over The Keeping Up With The Kardashians star’s obsession with his bank account. Wow – sometimes music does contain premonitions! #golddigger. “Kim is obsessed with money and it was starting to irritate him how it’s all she can talk about.” And during a recent visit to F.A.O Schwarz, witnesses overheard Kim badgering Kanye about his income. “She kept asking him about his touring revenue, the properties he owns and his savings,” a source reports. “Kanye finally had to tell her to back off and chill out. He told her she has nothing to worry about.”
Allegedly, Kim has some serious ulterior motives for dating Kanye – she wants to be taken care of! “She wants the kind of money where she can fly on private jets for the rest of her life,” an insider shares. And Kim is well-aware that since her business is built around her butt, she better have some insurance! “She knows she may not be able to work forever, so she wants a man who can ensure that she will always have the kind of life she wants.” Well, she has to stay married first!
Of course this all adds fuel to the speculation that Kim is in fact pregnant and worried about planning for her child’s future, but Kanye isn’t concerned. And he is protected. “He’s no fool,” an insider close to the star reports. And he already has a pre-nup at the ready! In fact, Kanye’s stepmother Dr. Cheryl West, says the rapper is more than prepared for the Kardashians! “I would not want him to be dragged into any foolishness, ” she warms. “But if you know Kanye, he knows what he’s getting into!”
And Dr. West is happy her stepson may be settling down. Even if it is with Kim! “If they love each other and are committed, kids would be a blessing,” she adds.
As for baby names, my suggestions would be Kween or King. Which fulfills both the insane Kimye ego and the use of the letter K! I’ll be trademarking Kween just in case these two decide to use it. Ka-ching!
Despite Kim’s probe into his wallet, Kanye is totally “obsessed” with her and not only lavishing Kim with attention! “Kim really hasn’t ever had a guy be so obsessed with her,” a source tells HollywoodLife. “She almost doesn’t know how to handle how much Kanye likes her. She has never felt this loved and it makes her feel good.”
“Kim flies to New York all the time and Kanye is loaded so it’s not hard for them to see each other,” the source continues. “He flew her private to Paris for his fashion show last minute — he’ll do anything for Kim.” Well, it sounds like Kim is getting her wish – money and love! And possibly a baby too. Anyone else slightly afraid of the potential E! specials!?
Finally, just in case you haven’t heard, Novartis Consumer Health, the makers of Theraflu aren’t on board with Kimye – nor are they interested in endorsing Kanye’s ode to Kim! “We in no way endorse or approve of the references or use of the image and likeness of Theraflu in this manner,” A representative told TMZ.
The company isn’t demanding that Kanye re-title the song or anything, but the rapper decided to anyway! Kanye has changed the name to “Way Too Cold.”And the company wants the world to know, that despite not wanting to endorse the song, they had nothing to do with Kanye’s decision! “Novartis Consumer Health did not ask that the name be changed — that request would be way too cold.”
PREGNANT OR PUBLICITY STUNT? IS SHE AFTER KANYE FOR HIS MONEY? DOES THIS RELATIONSHIP HAVE A CHANGE? DO YOU CARE?
During a speaking engagement this week, the Kardashian-Jenner patriarch shared with the audience the fact that he’s not thrilled with Kim’s new fauxlationship. “I’m not that excited, but we’ll see. Kimberly and I have had a conversation about them and their potential relationship.”
His wife, on the other hand, is purring at the “new” development in Kim’s life. Pimpmomager is reportedly doing backflips over the potential to extend their time in the spotlight, and feels this pairing will take them all Kim to the next level.
A source tells Radar Online: “She loves that they’re together and thinks Kanye is a huge step up for Kim after her marriage to Kris Humphries. Dating Kanye puts Kim in a whole new stratosphere. Kris was just a basketball player making a few million dollars a year, but Kanye is a world-wide multimillionaire superstar.”
Kim had an obscenely extravagant wedding to an NBA player—can you imagine what Kris J. could do with a rapper’s wedding budget?
In other Kimye news, Kris Humphries reportedly had an awkward moment at the Marble Lane restaurant this week. Kris was hanging out with his sister Kaela when ‘Theraflu’ started blasting through the sound system. You know the song, the one where Kanye admits to lusting after Kris’ then-wife and threatens that he could have Jay-Z fire him from the Nets team. Good times.
Aaaahhh… the Kardashians. Really, who can keep up? Who wants to? Not I! Anyway, America’s chief famewhorians are dominating the news once again with their antics. It’s more Kimye and more of Lamar Odom‘s NBA woes.
Sadly for Lamar, Mavericks’ owner Mark Cuban is speaking out about Lamar’s experience with the team and admitting that filming Khloe & Lamar contributed to his lack of focus. Pimpmomma Kris Jenner is not going to like hearing that!
“I do think that if you know you’re on camera all the time, you know you’re on camera all the time. It means you pay attention to how you’re going to look on camera,” Mark told to ESPN, alluding to the fact that Lamar was more interested in seeking on-court and off-court fame than he was being a team player! Reportedly, Lamar is hopeful he will return to the Lakers as the couple has relocated to LA.
Lamar’s wife Khloe Kardashian admits that it’s unfortunate that it didn’t work out with the Mavericks, but she is excited about moving home to LA. “We’re sad that, especially with the season almost over, and we’re not able to finish the season with the Mavericks,” she told Ellen DeGeneres. “But it’s been such an amazing organization to be part of, and to move to Dallas even though it was short, except for those tornadoes.”
Khloe also talked Kim Kardashian andKanye West‘s media-loving relationship and she is thrilled for the new couple, who she believes is a perfect match! “I like Kanye. I think Kim and Kanye have known each other for a long time. I think that they’re good friends and they’re compatible,” Khloe gushed. “I think a friendship is where good relationships stem from. I think they’re cute together.”
And now that Kim is dating someone famous enough for her family’s approval, no one is holding back from slamming poor sacrificial lamb Kris Humphries! “Honestly I don’t know why this divorce takes so long,” Khloe sniped. “I feel like they’ve been getting divorced longer than they’ve been married and it’s like I don’t know why it’s such a long process.”
“I like Kris as a person…I just do not like them together. And I felt like I said this.” Queen of the famewhores herself, Kris J also had some not so kind words for her former son-in-law. According to RadarOnline, Kris is beyond thrilled by Kim’s illustrious new match which has put her back in the good graces of the media – somewhat.
“She loves that they’re together and thinks Kanye is a huge step up for Kim after her marriage to Kris,” a source reveals. “Dating Kanye puts Kim in a whole new stratosphere.”
“Kris was just a basketball player making a few million dollars a year, but Kanye is a world-wide multi-millionaire superstar,” the source continues. “His money and fame are all going to benefit Kim now and she’s going to have all the perks of being his girlfriend, and her mom thinks this is going to be great for her own career.”
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Are you ready for a whole bunch of Kardashian-related news? I can tell you’re excited! Well, would it surprise you to know that the seventh (yes, seven!) season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians has graduated to a full hour of television. E! is so confident that you have nothing else to do with your time that not only have they managed to find 44 minutes worth of “umms” and manufactured drama, they’ve also ordered 18 episodes. Is this one of the signs of the apocalypse?
Hollywood Life reports that Kim Kardashian‘s current “boyfriend” Kanye West has “signed on” to appear for the seventh season, since he doesn’t have anything to do either. Given the success of Kanye’s latest musical effort, his collaboration with Jay-Z, one must assume that he has genuine feelings for Kim, because it’s not like he needs the PR. He might be participating in this latest charade as a favor to her.
Moving on from Kim, pobrecita Khloe Kardashian is having a rough few months. First, insta-husband Lamar Odom was cut from the Dallas Mavericks. On Monday, Khloe tweeted the following, presumably to Lamar: “ “U deserve so much better. Know ur worth and know ur skills that have been proven and earned! U showed ur strength, I love u.” She was spotted at LAX by the TMZ cameras, and said “No, I like Dallas. I’m glad to be home, but I liked Dallas.”
A source tells Radar Online that Lamar is “depressed” after not only being fired from the Mavericks, but let go from the L.A. Lakers:
“Lamar hasn’t gotten over being traded from the Lakers, and he has been depressed and moody ever since it happened. Lamar felt that he was ripped away from his Laker family with no warning or notice. He couldn’t fathom the fact that the Lakers traded him after all of his years with the team.”
Radar reports that Khloe has a “romantic getaway” planned, to whisk Lamar away from the cameras. Except she might take E!’s reality show cameras. The source adds that, ”Khloe has been extremely supportive of Lamar, but she is growing increasingly concerned for her husband because she has never seen him like this before.” A vacation may be just what the doctor ordered.
While Khloe has said she will follow Lamar wherever his NBA career takes him, this might be the end of the road. The insider adds, “Lamar wants to keep playing basketball, but it might be time for him to retire which has Khloe even more concerned.”
In even sadder news, Hollywood Life alleges that Khloe went through a miscarriage in February, and is worried that her inability to get pregnant will mean the end of their relationship. “She’s scared that if she doesn’t give Lamar a baby, then he’ll leave her.”
Are they or aren’t they? Do you even care? Of course Kim Kardashian can’t stay out of the media for three seconds, so naturally she is milking her romance–or fauxmance?–with rapper and d-bag (I love you, Taylor Swift!) Kanye West.
Apparently, a source close to Kim’s husband of 72 days, Kris Humphries, is speaking out to Hollywoodlife.com about Kim’s newest conquest. Or would it be Kanye’s newest conquest? It’s hard to have competing famewhores…things get confusing!
Kris’ friend tells the site, “Whether or not they are in a real relationship, it’s a publicity stunt to sell records on his part and more importantly for her, to divert people from talking about her divorce. If anyone deserves each other, it’s these two. They both love publicity and material things.”
Adding speculation to this whole ‘we’re madly in love’ charade, Kim has been photographed several times very publicly leaving Kanye’s apartment. In fact, there’s Kim in the above photo just coincidentally leaving her new beau’s apartment wearing his lounge pants and being like ‘Oh, paparazzi! Where’d you come from?’.
The insider claims that Kim and Kanye’s recent public displays of affection and NYC slumber parties are certainly planned by the duos publicists, citing it is “no coincidence they started the same night his new song dropped.” A song, I might add, that won’t be making my iTunes playlist…I will, however, be downloading Maria’s version of Nyquil.
What song, you’re asking? Of course you’re not asking that–everyone has heard that Kanye’s new single Theraflu references his love for Kim (by name!) and threatens to have Jay-Z kick Kris off the New Jersey Nets. The source continues, “I’m convinced they are the ones who have been tipping off the paparazzi to take their photos everywhere they go so that they can get the publicity. Someone who is calling the paparazzi can’t be as desperate about her divorce as she says she is.”
Kris Humphries isn’t the only Kris who has a “source” close to the story, though. Surprisingly, however, both Kris insiders are in agreement! Someone close to the Kardashian Kamp reveals, “It’s so calculated and of course, Kim’s mother, Kris, is all behind it. Look at all the great PR they are getting. I must say they make a perfect couple. They both love the limelight and can’t get enough attention.”
“This is also a big f–k you to Kris Humphries. I kind of feel sorry for him because Kim is acting like [she] never ever shed a tear for him,” adds the insider. “I don’t understand why the Kardashians think this is a good move for Kim. But believe me everything that family does calculated.”