Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there! So what you're about to read has got to be one of the most far-fetched and ridiculous things I've ever heard, until you realize it's about Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, and ridiculousness for these two is any given Tuesday. It would actually be more far-fetched to hear about them doing something normal…like grocery shopping, or volunteering, or, I don't know, staying out of the public eye for a quick minute.
Sadly, we all know that will never happen. Ever. So, in the meantime, let's discuss North West'sfirst birthday, shall we? It's today. Happy birthday, kid. Use those candles to wish for a tiny bit of normalcy, to never be dressed by your father, and that genetics don't curse you with your mother's ass.
Parents of the Year (something tells me that is the title of an upcoming Kanye Westdelusional rant rap!) After returning from their honeymoon last week, Kim Kardashian and Kanye are back to their busy jobs of… taking more trips!
The Keeping Up With The Kardashians couple just returned from a lavish trip through Prague and Ireland and now they are headed to Punta Mita for another lavish trip at a private home to celebrate Kanye's 37th birthday. How is that not declared a national holiday?
Unfortunately Kimye may be missing something important… daughter North's first birthday. Kim knew there was something she forgot, but she assumed it was a hair appointment. North turns 1 on June 15th, which is this Sunday so hopefully they'll return in time. (They probably will since it's also Father's Day – photo ops!) Honestly I think the most time those two have spent with their child is when they posed for their Vogue cover. However a source tells Us Weekly Kim is planning to have another baby soon. Kim is hoping for a boy.
Who doesn't love listening to Kris Jenner wax poetic about just how amazing Kim Kardashian's wedding was to tiny rapper Kanye West? I know I can't get enough of it. However, I've been waiting for her to tackle the real hard-hitting issues from the ceremony and reception.
I don't care about the golden porta-potties or the tantrums, I want to know about the things that really matter. I want to know how Kris felt about Bey and Jay skipping out on the tacky affair. I want to know what in holy hell Jaden Smith was thinking when he dressed in a silver Batman costume for the event. Really? I think it's time his parents decide to actually implement some rules with their children. Uncle Phil would be sorely disappointed. Rest in peace.
About Kim's wedding, Krisgushed, "It was so beautiful and magical – and that feeling went through every single person. It was just a love fest. It was the most wonderful time I think I've ever had and it's hard to explain that to somebody in words." Kris also revealed thatKim has changed her name to Kim Kardashian West. At least for the next 72ish days.
And this is why I put little to no stock in what celebrities have to say about politics. Sure, they love to talk (and talkandtalkandtalkandtalk) about whatever candidate best fits their personal agenda or is en vogue with the A-listers of Hollywood, but do most of them even have a clue? At best, the extent of Kim Kardashian's political knowledge comes from School House Rock, at worst…well, this is pretty bad.
The reality star was shunned by the Obama campaign, and the President himself once referred to her now husbandKanye West as a "jackass." Classic Barack. Now, Kim is diving head first into local politics, backing California's 33rd District Congressional Candidate Marianne Williamson. So what has Kim contributed to the campaign? Money? Of course not! But she did write a boastful blog about a recent press event with Marianne.
Last weekend Kim Kardashian and Kanye West tied the knot in Florence, Italy. While the official wedding photos boasted a happy couple and the photo booth (seriously – isn't that a little passé?) boasted a bevy of D-list celebrity guests having fun, apparently the behind-the-scenes drama was straight out of a horror story! Despite costing an estimated $12 million dollars, guests called the event a giant "clusterf–k" and reportedly had a horrible time being part of the Kimye show.
Page Six reveals that there were tantrums (no, not from North or Mason!) from Kanye, huge wasted expenses and rudely treated guests and performers. Settle in – it's juicy!
– Miss Golden Showers needed her guests to pee in style. Kim and Kanye had a huge golden portable toilet erected (see what I did there) that was situated next to the dinner tables (klass!) and beside the dance floor. The monstrosity was so enormous – 49 feet tall – it required a crane to lift it into the walled fortress of Forti di Belvedere. "'Their toilet was the star of the show,' says a source. "The Italians named it the Torre di Bagni Oro (translation: the Gold Toilet Tower)."
Kanye WestandKim Kardashianwere married on Saturday at the Forte di Belvedere in Florence, Italy. Kim wore a white lace Givenchy Haute Couture gown, complete with a long silk white veil, and Kanye wore a Givenchy tuxedo.
After the wedding ceremony, Kanye treated his guests to a 20-minute speech, during which he called Kim his "ideal art" and the "ideal celebrity."
Kanye referred to the Kardashians as an "industry" and "the most remarkable people of our time" who "make the world a better place." He continued, "I am defined by being a celebrity. The world is our altar. They feel like it's okay to put you on the tabloid covers to sell your image, to use you in a SNL spoof. We don't negotiate. We're not like that. We're not stupid."
Kimye Wedding Week is finally over – Kim Kardashian married Kanye Westin Italy today! We're not sure how "legal" the marriage is since they didn't establish residency first, but they topped off their week of Paris wedding festivities with a ceremony in Italy, as previously planned.
Kim and Kanye started dating sometime in 2012 and got engaged on Kim's birthday last October with a huge proposal extravaganza at AT&T Park. This is Kanye's first time at the altar but Kim's third. She was previously married to Damon Thomas from 2000-2003 and Kris Humphries for 72 days in 2011.