File this under things I never want Santa to put under my tree.
Kim Kardashian took to Instagram tonight to "show off" her Christmas gift from fiancee Kanye West. It seems Kanye commissioned artist George Condo to customize an Hermes Birkin bag for Kimmie Kakes with a nude painting. And the result was…uh..um..yeah. You look and tell us.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON TO SEE KIM'S GIFT
As if the amount of peanut brittle I've eaten today isn't gag-worthy enough, Kris Jenner swoops in to ruin my sugar high with her talk of Kimye's wedding, how in love Yeezus is with daughter Kim Kardashian, and how great things are with Bruce post-separation. It makes me kind of want to poke myself in the eye.
It will come as no surprise that Kim isn't going to tone it down for wedding number three to Kanye West. Shocker! After her million dollar event for a marriage that lasted less than three months, that sounds reasonable enough.
Do you have a ten-year plan? I do, and it involves a bestselling novel turned blockbuster movie starring Ryan Gosling…and a relationship with Ryan Gosling. Hey girl, it could happen!
Kim Kardashian also has hopes for where her life will be in a decade. Fear not, it will likely still be playing out in front of our eyes as I can't imagine this family has any plans to leave E! anytime soon. Kim recently revealed that she'd like to have two more children with Kanye West. Of course, the family will need an East and a South as siblings for baby North.
Is there trouble in the ultimate fame whoring reality paradise? It seems that someone needs to learn how to behave. Of course, by "behave" I mean that someone needs to stop comparing his creative genius to that of Steve Jobs and the difficulty of his stage performance to that of the effort men and women put forth while defending our country. Kanye West…a true gem.
Unfortunately for Kim Kardashian, pimp momager Kris Jenner is getting very tired her daughter's fiance's negative portrayal in the media. She's ready for the tiny rapping to stop with his ridiculous rants and get on board with the gravy train known as her family's brand.
Ugh… I need to lie down immediately after writing this. Seriously – I feel faint and I feel disrespectful even addressing this malarkey.
The first bit of news is not Kanye West's fault, save for the fact that it's totally believable given all the nonsense and highfalutin comparisons he's spouting. A self-described "Global Global Satirical Newspaper of Record" called The Daily Currant published a spam article claiming that Kanye referred to himself as the next Nelson Mandela.
The quote, falsely attributed to Kanye, read, “Mandela was working in South Africa, which has, like what, six people? I started my magic here in the USA and then I took my business global. I liberate minds with my music. That’s more important than liberating a few people from apartheid or whatever.”