I honestly think that if the Kardashians had to stay out of the spotlight for even just a day, they would shrivel up or something. Don't they get exhausted chasing fame? As if I don't already know the answer to that! They are never, ever going to go away.
Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe are gracing the cover of this week's print edition of Us Weekly, setting the record straight on all of the relationship rumors planted by mom Kris Jenner to keep her girls relevant swirling around. The magazine touts an exclusive, but it's really just a bunch of sound bites and sources and quotes. It doesn't appear that the sisters were actually interviewed for the article. Shocking, I know!
I feel like high stepping, finger snapping, dance-off gang fight is about to happen in Miami a la the Sharks and Jets, and the Sharks are the Kardashian sisters and their fans and the Jets are, well, everyone else. As you recall, the Kim and Kourtney got the boot from South Beach, but they landed in a very nice gated community in North Miami Beach. Granted, said gated community is near strip malls and convenience stores (I know, I totes have hives too just typing about it. Gag.), but those Kardashian girls are nothing without without their keen ability to adapt in any situation with other vapid ridiculously rich for no reason people.
Oddly enough, it was living near the Kardashians that led potential South Beach neighbors to send the girls packing. Now that filming has begun for the umpteenth spin-off of their family reality dynasty, the North Miami Beach natives are getting restless…or at least one of them is! There is apparently a disgruntled realtor on the scene. Um, he clearly didn't get the memo that it's called Kourtney and Kim Take Miami, not Some Guy Wants Money Thanks to Famewhores. Some people will always try to make a buck at the expense of innocent reality stars. Sadly, in this case, I'm not being sarcastic.
Can we get a slow clap for everyone's favorite momager Kris Jenner? On the heels of Khloe Kardashian being named an X Factor host alongside Albert Clifford SlaterMario Lopez, we're now learning more about the negotiations–or rather break down in negotiations–that occurred prior to the big announcement.
I, for one, am thrilled to see Khloe separating herself from her sisters in the business world. She needs her own platform to shine, and that will never happen if Kim is involved. I mean, didn't Kim make Khloe's infertility issues about herself when she decided to freeze her eggs so that she could breed on down the line with the tiny rapper? Khloe can't have anything–even a heartbreaking situation–that isn't overshadowed by a certain ego-driven sibling. Mark my words, Khloe and Mario will be sharing strained banter on the upcoming X Factor season, and Kim will streak across the stage, upstaging the next Susan Boyle (yes, I know she was Britain's Got Talent, but her first foray into reality television is still the most amazing thing I've ever seen. Tears.) wearing nothing but Kanye West's $5,000 high tops and a smile. I hate that I can picture it.
Now, we're learning that there is one other person in the family who also needs to reap the headlines when one of her offspring does something right. That's right. Kris Jenner needs to go quietly into the background and watch her creations succeed at…well, just being alive…and talking…in a microphone. Of course, we all know Kris' contract won't allow her to do that!
I apologize in advance for the lengthiness of this post, but we all know that the Kardashian Klan must constantly work to stay in the spotlight. With so many of them, it's like a revolving door of gossip. Bless 'em.
Because things always seem to happen in threes, I have a trio of entertainment to share with you, dear readers. There's a storm a' brewin' on the set of X Factor as now-confirmed hosts Khloe Kardashian and Mario Lopez are having a difficult time fitting their giant wardrobes–and their egos!–into their dressing rooms. Of course, at least they HAVE dressing rooms. Word on the street is that Kim Kardashian and sister Kourtney will have to slum it on the upcoming season of Kourtney and Kim Take Miami due to a slight "misunderstanding" with South Beach. That misunderstanding being that no one in South Beach wants the Kardashian sisters around.
Last but not least, rapper Kanye West was visiting his girlfriend in her new digs when he found himself competing for attention with her former beau NFL player Reggie Bush. It's like an awesomely bad episode of Melrose Place!
Well, America your worst nightmare may have just come true. FirstBethenny Frankel, and now Kris Jenner! The pimpmomager who has been hinting for years that she wants a talk show, may finally get her wish! Don't I get a say?
With low ratings for this season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians and dwindling interest in the 3 million products they pimp, the Kardashians are branching out into new directions to retain their attention. Can we call what they have fame?
According to Deadline, the matriarch of America's tackiest family is in serious talks with Twentieth Television to get her own daytime talk show. The network is so serious, discussions are all ready underway for a test run on Fox TV Stations for early as this summer. Fox is also the network airing bethenny, no surprise!
You know, I often think that if we normal people would just ignore all things Kardashian, the family would slowly fade into obscurity. Of course, I realize the irony of me wishing this would happen while blogging about them. I also realize it is never going to happen if non-normal (read: wacky celebs and "news correspondents") people keep giving them the time of day.
That said, I have an announcement to make. I am now watching Good Morning America for the first time ever. I don't know why I waited this long as I think George Stephanopoulos is hot, and I adore Amy Robach. The TODAY Show is dead to me. I'm sorry, Al Roker. I'll always think highly of you, as I know the show stripped you of extra time with your best pal Ann Curry, but to Matt Lauer (I blame you for Ann!) and the rest of the morning show's cronies, I say, for shame. (P.S. I still heart you, Willie Geist!)
You know the old addage…another day, another Kardashian spin-off. The newest rumor swirling is a show centered around everyone favorite dressing alike couple, affectionately known as Kimye. Don't you all want to watch the cameras follow Kimmie and Kanye West as the sisters take their Kardashian Kollection across the pond?
While I think he's a arrogant jackleg with a Napolean complex, doesn't Kanye has a pretty successful music career he needs to tend to instead of downgrading to the world of reality television? Of course, if Kimmie and pimpmomager Kris Jenner can't agree on the tone of the show, he may not have to make that dreadful decision.