Confession time. Despite my line of work, I avoid everything Kim Kardashian and Kanye West as much as humanly possible. But – every once in a while – something Kardashian/West comes across my computer screen that catches my attention and sends me into a raging fit of laughter.
According to Contact Music, Kanye plans to bless us with three hours worth of his rants on the environment, tales of his life with Kim and North, and more. Oh my. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. I can't think of anything worse to listen to for three hours. Err, well, except maybe Taylor Swift singing live.
File this under things I never saw coming. According to reports, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are set to tie the knot this week. No, that is not the shocking part. The shocking part is that they are doing it without fanfare, in a small hush-hush secret ceremony in California.
Apparently the megastars — and parents to baby North — filed for a 'confidential' marriage license, meaning that they are so special, they do not have to even make an appearance at the court house in order to get the license. Instead, an official from the court will go to their house and perform a secret ceremony at their home, or Kris Jenner's home, or wherever they are having the ceremony. Well, at least it was a secret.
Kimye is back in France, y'all! Perhaps they are fulfilling their requirements to marry in Paris…which means they'll be there through at least Memorial Day (better you than us, France!). The couple has been out and about with Kim Kardashian channeling her inner Queen Padme Amidala, although I feel like I'm defacing Star Wars by even writing that. Without question, Kanye West is behind this latest Kimmie trend. Those shoulder pads just scream "tiny rapper!" Now that I think about it, maybe Yeezy's penchant for masks is an homage to Darth Vader…
No word on whether baby North West is actually with her parents on this trip, as Kim has been mum on all fifty forms of her favorite social media since last week. If she shows up in her million dollar stroller dressed like Princess Leia, we should all be very concerned.
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It's all a numbers game for those krazy Kardashians…the number of viewers, the number of random items they can slap their names on, the number of spin-offs we continue to watch while we complain about how many spin-offs they have, the number of random Instagram videos posted by Kim–not to mention the number of million dollar weddings one person needs to have! Yes, you can kount on the Kardashians to like their numbers (bad pun…sheesh).
Of course, if we're lucky, it could be a numbers game for us too…as in the number days we can pawn Kim and the tiny rapper off on France (sorry, Paris!). If Kim and Kanye West are not above the law–granted, that's a big "if"–they may be moving out of the country for a while. Fingers crossed! I'm sure Beyonce wouldn't be sad to see them go either as their Vogue cover is on track to outsell hers. This must be stopped! Stop buying April's issue of Vogue for goodness' sake!
Good gracious. This whole Khroma Beauty thing isn't going to go away. The Kardashian sisters slap their names on anything and everything imaginable, and the one time they decide NOT to use their name is the one time the poo hits the fan. When Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe introduced their Khroma cosmetics line, the brand's parent company Boldface was slapped with a cease and desist by the real Kroma.
After the Florida based make-up company Kroma sued the Kardashian's Khroma for trademark infringement, the Kardashians changed the line's name to the oh, so original name Kardashian Beauty. However, Khloe wasn't happy about it…to put it mildly!
So what's the big reveal? Elementary, my dear Watson! I've determined that Kim is just being a stellar fiance to Kanye West. All of this Instagram craziness is just her way to make us all realize that the tiny rapper's Bound 2 video is an actual work of art. I mean, compared to Kim's latest postings, it is…right? Slow clap, Kimmie. Slow. Clap.
The duo has already taken Miami in one of the family's bazillion spin-offs, and if it isn't broke, why fix it? Kris Jenner is determined to shove her offspring down our throats in as many ways possible, and this time the folks of East Hampton will have to sacrifice their summer for some reality vapidness. Somewhere the Countess is rolling her eyes!
Kim Kardashian went see-through again last night as she made her way to an appearance on Seth Meyers' late night show in a gray dress. During the interview Kim revealed that baby North West peed onKanyein one of their Vogue photos. "North peed on Kanye in that shot. He was trying to tell me. I had to get up and clean him off."
I'm not a big fan of this dress, but there are photos in the gallery where Kim is dressed down in jeans and heels. I thinkshe looks best that way and she looks more comfortable, too!
Also spotted out so far this week: Coco Austin promoting her new "Coco Licious" Collection. And Rachel Zoe promoting her new book. The Dancing with the Stars pros and contestants were hard at work again as they made their way to practice.