Kathy Griffin

Bravo wasn’t always housewives and bitchy real estate professionals. Once upon a time, the network belonged to comedian Kathy Griffin. And part of it must still belong to her, because the network gave her another show to replace her departed My Life On The D-List reality show. Probably because she’s not so D-list anymore.

Kathy’s new show, plainly titled “Kathy” will be a talk show. But, she doesn’t plan on bringing on big celebrities, probably because her whole act is making fun of the famous. In an interview with the LA Times, Kathy dished more about her new show, and her infamous mother Maggie.

Apparently Maggie has to be on every episode:

“My mom is bigger than all the “Housewives” combined. My mother is, once again, mandated — MANDATED — by the network to be in every episode. They don’t even have the good grace to say things like, “You know, Kathy, you’re one of our stars. We think of you as an iconic cornerstone of the network. And if your mom could help you out, that would be great.” No. They’re like, “Hey, so your mom will be on it every week, you know that right? We’re not … around with that.” I’m like, “Yes, yes. Don’t worry.”

Poor Maggie! She just wants to be left alone to watch the Kardashians in peace! Kathy’s new show will be a more casual talk show, but she wants to keep it real:

“It’s a very loose and chatty show. It’s so loose the network feels like they need to promote it by having photos of me with caution tape around my mouth. The most important thing to me is to keep it as fluid as possible — the whole show.

I want them to feel like they were at lunch with a girlfriend and she was saying all the things I was afraid to say. I like it when people laugh and almost put their hand over their mouth like they weren’t supposed to laugh. I want it to feel like we’re all just hanging out. The set right now is a little bit residential. It’s a little bit talk show. But it’s also none of those things exactly. It’s chatty. One of the things that sort of organically happened was, if I have a question during the run-throughs we do at the office, I’ll turn and ask someone in the office and they’ll pipe in. We’re even thinking of putting microphones on three random people in the audience so if I ask a question and look at that person, they can actually pipe in. It’s not Phil Donahue running into the audience with a microphone, but we don’t know what the … it’s going to be.”

Unlike Watch What Happens, Kathy (sadly) won’t be shooting live. They want to avoid the “incidents” Kathy has gotten into before on live television!

“No — uh, no. No. They won’t do it. I think you know why. They’re trying — let me tell you the real reason: they’re scared … . If you ask them, I’m sure they’d tell you things about fiber feeds — they’d make it technical. They’re not stupid. Which is so great because this is me screaming at Bravo: “Really? Because I’m good enough to go live on CNN with Anderson Cooper for five years in a row.” To which their response was, “Didn’t you say … one year and have to get your check back?”

We’re going to shoot it live to tape. And we’re going to air Thursdays at 10. We’re going to try to truly talk about all the stuff you’re not supposed to talk about. If I get in trouble, at least, hopefully, I won’t go to jail like Juicy from ‘Real Housewives of New Jersey.” By the way, there are several people on several channels that have legitimate trials pending. All the “trouble” that I get into because of my big mouth, I don’t actually have a trial date. I’m really just here to make people laugh. And I’m priding myself in not having celebrities.”

And while Kathy doesn’t want to have celebrities, the network wants her to bring them on:

My idols are Howard Stern, Bill Maher, Joan Rivers — people that get in trouble, people that can be wrong. For me, to have celebrities on, it would just be a different kind of a show. I think it’s great that a woman like Ellen DeGeneres can be a comedian and segue into a show in which everyone adores her and she never offends anybody. That is just not my story, not by a mile. The network is pressuring me pretty heavily to have celebrities.

This has to be a place where nothing is off the table. I’m so evil, I’m making fun of the guy with a speech impediment from “Bachelor Pad” because I’m fascinated that there’s a guy with a speech impediment who just can’t stop going on reality shows.

Kathy will have what she calls a “panel of civilians,” of “weirdos” that she knows, rather than the panel of comedians that Chelsea Handler has on her shows. That doesn’t mean Kathy won’t ever have A-listers on:

“That’s really my theory, that the network wants a big first guest and it’s all, “Call Cher. Call Cher. Call Cher.” I said, “Look, Cher’s in her mansion in Malibu. We can’t even afford her hair and makeup and she and I were texting and she doesn’t even know what Bravo is.” It would just be a different tone. I’m open to, once the show is up and running, if celebrities are really willing to come and play, they’re welcome. But until then, they’re not welcome. Not even you, Barbara Walters! How do you like it? You’re banned!

One of the girls, yesterday, was like, “What if we could get Oprah?” I was like, “Really? Really?” Because that would be a really short interview. It would just be her leaving.”

She hilariously notes that she doesn’t understand why the network is so scared of her big mouth, when she hasn’t even gone to jail, like another Bravo-lebrity. “If I get in trouble, at least, hopefully, I won’t go to jail like Juicy from ‘Real Housewives of New Jersey.” Kathy’s show will air once a week, and she swears she won’t go to daily like Watch What Happens because she wants to continue touring.

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