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Kathy Wakile

rhonj-recap

Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey it was another round of tit-for-tat over the most mundane crap imaginable. I mean, maybe it's not mundane if it's your family, but after 2.5 seasons of the storyline that never ends, I think we're all a bit tired of the Gorgadice family feud. If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results, I think we can all officially declare the Gorgadices "insane". Right, Dr. Jacqueline Laurita, wino-behavioral specialist! 

Things begin – oh who really cares where they begin because this show is like a loop everything ends and begins in the same exact spot so that you never know which episode is which and what exactly happened. Let's start with Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga rehashing birthday party-gate to their respective spouses while their kids all listen nearby. 

Melissa is flipping some pancakes and Poison is deciding if they'll liquefy in his intestines so we all have to hear about his explosive diarrhea again, then she tells him something else vomit-inducing; that Teresa and Kim D (Teresa's soldier in the hideous hair extension army) like attacked her at Gia's party. And it was like sooooo terrible, and now she has to go into witness protection, and she did so visit her FIL in the hospital for like hours and hours and hours except she was in the lobby on twitter and reading magazines so he didn't actually see her. Meanwhile Antonia's just hanging out in the background. 

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rhonj-kimd

Alright kiddos, so Real Housewives of New Jersey happened so let's all take a break from bashing our heads against the wall to read this recap. I personally would rather go through another drug-free labor than spend one more minute on the Teresa Giudice vs. Melissa Gorga mess, but hey – duty calls. Oh – and in case you haven't heard I had a baby this week! Word to the wise: try to get to the hospital in a timely manner, right Melissa?!! 

Last night Teresa and Melissa put forth another round of she-said/she-said; bobbing and weaving around the ring like two drag queens in a RuPaul's Drag Race boxing challenge. Except the fashionably challenged version! It was sparkly leopard print verbal uppercut blocked by spray-tanned orange fauxmarble encrusted sucker punch. And a low-brow duck followed by a high-brow weave and spin. Before we knew it, fur was flying and Caroline Manzo's front yard petting zoo had died in vain over more of Teresa and Melissa's nonsense. 

Since we're talking boxing – things begin in a gym. Apparently all of Franklin Lakes and its surrounding lower echelon suburbs go to the same gym and NONE of them knew it! Just imagine… no awkward collisions at the lowfat banana smoothie bar ever occurred! Who would believe it?! 

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rhonj-season-5-cast

The ladies of Real Housewives of New Jersey have a new story to peddle this season – they're all getting along. Finally! In a new interview the entire cast sits down to discuss how they deal with the show, what's happened to bring peace, and remind us that there is still much, much more drama to come. 

Oh they also talk cheatin' spouses… 

"It's crazy when it comes on because there's a lot said that you don't see that's filmed, and then we've come so far from where we were in the beginning, so it's very hard to rewatch the beginning but you just have to remember it was before the makeup and before everything got better in all of our situations," Melissa Gorga tells the Associated Press. 

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When I think of Real Housewives of New Jersey, I usually think of ridiculous drama, table flipping, prostitution whores, and the always feuding duo of sisters-in-law Melissa Gorga and Teresa Giudice.  Thankfully, there is the boring calming presence of Kathy Wakile to bring everything back to normal.

In her Bravo blog, Kathy discusses daughter Victoria's college plans and husband Rich's need for a private consultation with Emily Post.  I'd say that's a fair assessment, no?

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rhonj-teresa

On last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey the Gorgadice battle continued, although the small beginnings of a peace treaty seemed to have been forged. Maybe… 

Things begin in Casa de Giudice. Teresa Giudice is cooking while wrangling four screaming girls. Apparently there is some confustion (Teresa tawk) about who is actually the mama because while Milania is playing on the stove terrorizing some peppers, Gia is lecturing her about safety. Teresa meanwhile is flitting around in full hair and makeup yelling, "O.M.G!"

Teresa says she always reminds her girls to stick together and not end up married to men their siblings hate. Then she gives them a lecture on table manners. 1) Like, don't scream 'prostitution whore' unless the person really is a prostitution whore and has been engaged like 19 times! Like O.M.G!

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snooki-bethenny-frankel

Our favorite reality TV stars can't get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here's a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy! 
 
Above: Snooki tweeted, "Yay Bethenny!"
 
Below you'll find Twitter pics from Melissa Gorga, Willie Robertson, Ramona Singer, Bonnie Blossman, Teresa Giudice, Heather Dubrow, and more.

Photo Credit 

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rhonj-recap

Remember that Lindsay Lohan movie "Freaky Friday" where the mom became the kid and the kid suddenly morphed into the mom role after they were both struck by lightening or something? Yeah – that was last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey!

As the adults continued to behave childishly and bicker pettily over everything imaginable, the kids were able to give them a little lesson in communication, letting bygones be bygones, and focusing on the positive! 

Before we get to all that, things begin with the cast recovering from the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. While none of them lost their primary homes, Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga both had their shore homes damaged. "My house… what happened??" they both wail – as a flood of last summer's empty bronzing bottles and sequined bikinis wash over their feet. 'All my marble deck furniture like suuuunk! Waaaah… and what about my rhinestone encrusted jet ski Joeeew' Ok – so the editors cut that out, but you KNOW that's what really happened! 

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rhonj-season-5-cast

Remember Season 1 of Real Housewives of New Jersey? When all was sweet and innocent. Ok, no I don't remember that either, but we can pretend!

Way back when, the ladies seemed just a tacky hotmess of over-spending, leopard print, and polyester. Little did we know, little did we know… 

With T -3 Days to go until the premiere, today we celebrate the origins of species, and by that I mean the beginnings of an era known as New Jersey Housewives. Behold their evolution… 

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