All the talk of Teresa Giudice getting a spinoff seems to be unnecessary as the entire plot of Real Housewives of New Jersey revolves around her. For once I don’t believe Teresa is delusional – I mean, everybody is always talking about her, amirite?
Teresa‘s latest Bravo blog addresses former friend turned stalker/nemesis Caroline Manzo‘s crazy comments about Teresa’s marriage and the passive aggressive comments she believes Kathy Wakile made about her cookbook. Hang on, you’re in for a loooong RHONJ post!
“You’d think by now I’d be used to everyone on the show talking about me non-stop every single episode, but I’ll admit I was shocked by Caroline’s comment about my marriage,” Teresa begins.
“Not because I don’t expect her to say nasty things about me and to constantly judge of me — that’s what she does. To quote Audriana‘s favorite movie right now, The Little Mermaid: ‘It’s what she lives for.’ (Caroline does remind me of Ursula, come to think of it…) What shocked me is her hypocrisy.”
On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey (brought to us by the Bravo Home Shopping Network) the ladies brought home the bacon while the menfolk sat around the kitchen table gossiping and snarking like old biddies. I applaud the progressive feminist nature of these industrious girls. Except for the one whose husband said he owned her. Yeah, that one needs to take a women’s studies class, stat!
So things begin with Teresa Giudice – or is Joodichee? Our favorite Jersian wordsmith has apparently, once again, forgotten how to pronounce her ever-shifting last name. Teresa’s newest venture is branding herself – I think she should start with having a consistent pronunciation of her own name, but that’s just my suggestion. “Branding” means adding Fabellini to her ever-expanding product repertoire. I swear Teresa makes up these words, Fabulicious, Fabellini, etc because she can’t actually pronounce any real words!
Teresa is in the car with Joe Goodouchée and they are headed to a vineyard, she thinks. Despite the fact that she is now in the wine making business, madame Giuhoochie has no idea where wine comes from or where one goes to taste wine.
Last night on the Real Infomercials of New Jersey the Bravo Home Shopping Network was in full-swing. I see everyone can behave when they’ve got stuff to sell! We’re not stupid, Bravo, we know this was a filler episode designed to get some swag promotion before you hit us with the heavy drama next week. Too bad most of us were too bored to pay attention.
Now there were some positives to this episode. The Gorgas and the Giudices got along and Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga, dare I say it, seemed to be enjoying each other’s company and bonding! I like them getting along and I think it makes better TV. It really is time for both parties to let this feud die; it’s boring, redundant, and both sides are equally at fault.
Other positives, both Melissa and Gia had amazing performances at Beatstock. I know Melissa was lip syncing, but isn’t that standard? I mean doesn’t Britney Spears lip sync at a live performance?
Everyone get out your violins! Real Housewives of New Jersey’sTeresa Giudice is once again talking about how wronged she’s been…while not directly answering questions and bragging about being famous. Oh, except she’s humble too. Very humble…with white teeth, because, you know, she and Juicy are getting into the teeth whitening business…which is why he isn’t going to court, as he has to attend a seminar on teeth whitening. You know, judges are usually pretty lenient on letting you pick when you do and don’t come to court. My head is spinning already! Read on to see Teresa’s stellar pity party interview with the Daily Beast. She hasn’t done anything wrong, y’all. Nothing!
Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey everyone mostly got along and for a second there I thought I was watching the wrong show until Caroline Manzo popped up to insult her children on national TV. Oh Caroline, cut the cord. And Manzo Spawn – run.
It’s the day of Antonia Gorga‘s sixth birthday party and what’s a mama to do but get her make-up and hair professionally done for a backyard party filled with kindergartners. Do stilettos go with a bouncy castle? Didn’t think so!
While Melissa Gorga is in the make-up chair, Antonia is hard at work assembling gift bags. Who’s the birthday girl again? Melissa is gushing about Antonia’s lavish party – JoeyGorga tells her she’s too expensive. Don’t try to compete with Taylor Armstrong, Melissa. The lip injections are already taking it too far.
Melissa asks Poison about the visit to the therapist. Joey proceeds to tell us that Teresa Giudice must have lied to the doctor about how they had Sunday dinners together and then Teresa tells us the doctor didn’t like them. Then they both blame each other for all the problems in the relationship while claiming they are all about peace, love, and forgiveness. Why do they both do this? It’s ridiculous!
Our favorite reality TV stars can’t get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
Therapy Schmerapy, eh. Teresa Giudice and Joe G-to-the-Orga are clearly beyond help. Existing in a world where all versions of rationale just slip in one ear and right out the other. As Teresa so aptly put it, “I don’t store things in my brain.” Clearly.
Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey, the siblings from hell attempted to see a therapist to mend their fractured relationship. I guess they don’t understand that it takes way more than one hour-long appointment to patch things up, but Bravo doesn’t have the time to be airing all that. We would be watching RHONJ season 35 if that be the case.
Now I’m no Teresa hater, I find her tolerable and she has redeeming qualities; one of which is her eternal optimism and goofball nature. I don’t know how the Gorgadice families got into this mess that has come to dominate my television and yours for the last two years, and frankly I think both Teresa and Joe, of the salmon colored button-down, told versions of the truth that make sense.
Last night’s Real Housewives of New Jersey focused on the important things in life: Rosie’s jaunty cap collection, the remix of “On Display,” and friends doing everything in their power to maintain a strong bond through mutual respect, listening, and give-and-take. Oh wait, maybe not that last thing…
Caroline Manzo? More like Caroline Done-zo! She is way over Teresa Giudice’s behavior. I mean she only wanted to return some swimsuits in the least set-up and manipulated scene ever and she ends up in the midst of World War Tre? Uh uh. No way. Caroline is fed up…and you don’t want to see Caroline fed up because fed up Caroline looks like Caroline always looks scary. The Manzo brood,Greg Bennett, and Uncle Chris Laurita are drinking some sucky read wine in the yard. Laurenis worried about Jacqueline after hearing stories of tabloid-gate twenty-twelve. Chris regales the children with stories of a Jacqueline once so loony, she threw all her ex-husband’s belongings into their front yard. Basically, he opines, she is now throwing all of Teresa’s metaphorical crap onto their manicured lawn. Chris wonders why women can’t handle fights with a quick discussion and then forgive and forget like he and his fellow brawn practice. Oh yeah, emotionally emoted emotions.