Last night was the much awaited season finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey. And I mean much awaited because we are all desperate to escape the meandering Gorgadice feud storyline which has dominated the show for three seasons.
With majorly dropping ratings this season, we're hoping next season is a season of change. But until then, our favorite existing Jersey stars weigh in on last night's episode.
Teresa Giudice did not comment – clearly her appearance on WWHLsaid enough. As for Melissa Gorga she used the opportunity to promote her various endeavors – currently a controversial "marriage bible" – and retweeted that this season had the "perfect ending". OooooKaaaay.
Last night was the season finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey. I don't know why they bothered taping one this season since it was pretty much a complete rehash of last season's! Of course things ended on a much better note, so there's that - and it seemed as if Teresa Giudice and Joe Gorga had finally taken the steps towards the slow, treacly path to rebuilding… But then we saw WWHL. So, anyway – Deja-Jersey!
Apparently all things Jersey must end with Posche. #Posche4Life. Kim D has some magic clutches on the producers of RHONJ – I mean how on earth has she roped them into filming her event three seasons running?! It starts with Penny Karagiorgis squaring off against Teresa. Did Teresa tell Penny all about the misdeeds of her sister-in-law Melissa Gorga? Penny says yes, Teresa says no. I say (as does Joe Giudice): "Who cares?!"
Penny reveals she has Teresa's phone number in her phone but there's no proof they've communicated as she doesn't save "texez" – or "Texas" if you're Teresa. Then Johnny, Penny's large, not in charge, husband appears to defend his wife and take Poison down to size (invisible?), or something. He's got texas and tweets galore and he's also got Poison breathing down his neck like a steroid-engineered gnome. Little man feisty. Little man get mad. Little man attack. Rawr!
Caroline Manzo has already landed a spinoff aptly titled 'Manzo'd With Children' and in light of that has opted to leave the show. At least temporarily while she shoots a pilot for her new show! Some sources say Caroline may come back pending the spinoff's success, others say she is officially done!
My Magic Hate Ball predicts 'Try Again', Caro! I'm sorry while I think they're a sweet family, they just don't have much charisma or presence. I think that will be super boring to watch.
Even though we have another week yet before the first part of the Real Housewives of New Jersey season 5 reunion show airs, Bravo has released oodles of photos for us to gawk at in the meantime.
In fact, there were so many pics, I have to break this up into two posts because our poor slideshow gallery (it's new and improved and awesome!) could only handle so much RHONJ in one sitting and made me split it into two.
Following a season of lackluster ratings, ridiculously transparent producer and editing manipulation, and a déjà vu storyline, Wendy challenged Andy about making changes to the formerly successful show.
Wendy straight up called out this season as "not the best." Andy agreed and admitted, "We need to make some adjustments." When Wendy suggested "new Housewives" and "no more Manzos" or Wakiles, Andy said, "alright, alright" but he seemed off-put and annoyed. I think he's also realizing this show is doomed without MAJOR shakeups!
I'm just gonna say it – I'm over this crap. Yep, I just called Real Housewives of New Jersey "crap" so nana-nana-boo-boo. Look I'm as mature as the castmembers now!
So last night was part one of the so-called "epic" season finale. It was pretty much rehashing of last season's season finale except there will be actual fist fighting. So they took last season and made it more trashy! Lovely, Bravo. Really just lovely.
Before all that, we were rendered temporarily deaf by Melissa Gorga attempting to sing. While I was holding my head and cringing, Bravo threw Penny Karagiorgis, her Wal-mart extensions ripped off from a Barbie Halloween costume, and Teresa Giudice shrieking at each other in my face.
It's a miracle I did not spontaneously combust right here on my non-made-of-marble sofa while drinking my non-fabellini alcoholic beverage. Maybe next week…