When Vanderpump Rules first started, it was basically the Stassi Schroeder show, which was just fine with me. Those first two seasons were iconic in my eyes. This season is all about Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz’s wedding – and Katie is feeling the heat thanks to her rage texts and drunken arguments.
Stassi had a lot to say in defense of her girl Katie. She also defended herself against Scheana Marie’s claims that Stassi and Kristen Doute excluded her from planning Katie’s wedding events and addressed her breakdown after what she described as her “most embarrassing moment” on the show.
It’s so hard trying to keep track of Lala Kent’s presence on Vanderpump Rules. Is she still a part of the show? Is she done with it forever? It seems like that answer is constantly changing. Lala left the show, denounced the show, returned for the reunion, and started taking a lot of photos with Scheana Marie and Ariana Madix. Now it seems like she’s all in again, but who knows.
Our first look at the Vanderpump Rules reunion is here. Bravo promises that everything from “scandalous hookups” and “cheating accusations” to “wild wedding festivities” will be argued about ad nauseam covered at the Season 5 reunion, which Andy Cohen said was “intense.”
Look below for pictures and a breakdown of the three-part reunion. Yes, three parts, because apparently season five was a hit with viewers. <blank stare> I personally thought that this was the worst season yet, but Bravo claims that this season of Vanderpump Rules is “on track to deliver its highest rated season ever” with a reported average of 2.4 million viewers.
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I was actually pretty moved by Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz wedding. I know we didn’t even get to the actual vows part yet, but it was so sweet when Jax Taylor and Tom Sandoval surprised Schwartz by flying out his triplet brothers to attend the wedding.
It was really nice, but a lot of the viewers were so confused by the couple spending so much money on towel invitations and flower arrangements instead of paying for his family to attend the event. Still, this is a way nicer criticism than the hate the couple has faced all season in response to their drunken arguments.
The countdown is finally over! We Vanderpump Rules watchers have finally arrived at the inevitable nuptials of two people so solely unhappy together it’s almost not funny. So, yes, last night was the debut of Katie Maloney‘s wedding gown and it was even worse than Scheana Marie‘s. But the biggest shock was that Tom 2 actually seemed happy to be getting married. That’s a change!
Tom and Katie spent $51,000 on a wedding in someone’s backyard next to the train tracks, yet Tom couldn’t afford to fly his family out to attend. Only his mom, Kim, the object of Jax Taylor‘s wanton obsession, has made it. Thus far anyway. I guess Jax imagines that Kim is a woman who knows how to make a turkey sandwich?
Anyway, call me confused but wouldn’t you factor ‘flying family to wedding’ into your budget above $10,000 worth of flowers, or a $4,000 Tacky Tuesday rehearsal dinner? Was Tom 2 too afraid of Katie’s wrath or something… Likely he actually fears Katie’s combined forces with Stassi Schroeder, the official plus one of his wedding and entire life. Yes, after all her maneuvering Stassi has finally secured the spot of Maid Of Honor. Unofficially so as not to hurt Kristen Doute‘s feelings, but honestly where else would one place their Celestial Wife in the order of things?
The viewers have seen Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz go through some tough (and awkward) times this season on Vanderpump Rules. If this wasn’t a reality show and we didn’t already know that they got married, there would be a lot of doubt about whether or not they were going to tie the knot. This is especially true after the joint bachelor/bachelorette party episodes that took place in New Orleans.
It’s hard for the viewers to “ship” this couple because all they’ve seen is drunken fighting this season, but apparently they are in a much different place these days. I have no idea how you go from calling each other names and siding with other people in arguments to wedded bliss, but I guess we will have until next season (or the reunion episodes) to see what Tom and Katie are like as a married couple.
Last night’s Vanderpump Rules traveled through the few remaining days before Tom Schwartz legally yoked himself to Tequila Katie. Actually, Tom has optimistically decided to eulogize Tequila Katie – maybe that explains why they spent $10,000 on flowers! Double-duty for a funeral?
Before everyone converges in the middle of nowhere “where no one can hear you squeal, boy,” (name that movie!) Tom 1 and Jax Taylor must take care of some risky business in the big city. They must summon their courage with a tiny trumpet and drink raw eggs for manliness. They’re doing this for Tom 2. As he relinquishes his bank account, his soul, and what’s left of the d–k he can only partially find, that only partially works, Tom 1 and Jax will be his everlasting strength.
On tonight’s episode the wedding party picks up their tuxes and dresses and head off to prep for the big event. Katie is still in shock that she was able to find dresses that these “picky bitches” could all agree on! Jax Taylor freaks out when Tom‘s brothers miss their flights and it threatens to ruin the big surprise.