I don't mean to be redundant, but I know I've said this before…bless Kim Kardashian's heart. Seriously, bless it. Not only does the mere mention of her name make people in the states automatically get a rash, now the Middle East is creeped out by her as well. That's got to be a tough cross to bear, and I don't even care for her. Yet I feel badly…must be the holidays.
As you all know, Kim has been touring Kuwait and Bahrain touting Millions of Milkshakes. I'm sure President Obama is super excited about the amount of diplomacy that's happening with that situation! Anyhoo, I'm sure poor Kim was thrilled at the opportunity to promote the dairy treats on the other side of the world while wearing the finest couture from the Kardashian Kollection and the tiny rapper's new shoe line. Little did she know she'd be welcomed with protests and discord. Of course, we probably all figured she would given her recent controversial (and likely clueless on Kim's part) tweets, but she was totally sidelined by her less than stellar welcome. Damn you, Twitter!
Yawn. It's like the most dramatic rose ceremonyKim Kardashian divorce ever. How is it possible that the divorce proceedings are lasting three times as long as the actual marriage. Why oh why can't Kim just admit that her marriage to Kris Humphries was for her reality show and spare us all the endless gossip and back and forth of this silly divorce? I mean, part of me is glad she isn't…I like my job, but we all know Kim didn't really want to marry him for real life purposes. The girl changes boyfriends/potential fiancés/randoms who may or may not be willing to walk down the aisle with her as often as I brush my teeth…and I have excellent oral hygiene. Never had a cavity!
What bothers me most about this divorce isn't the ridiculousness of it all or even the drawn out nature and pettiness from both sides. It is this: The whole thing could be over and done with if Kim would just admit the marriage was for show. Kris gets none of her fortune regardless…her prenup bars him recovery in the event of a divorce, and if there was never any marriage (which would happen with Kris' desired annulment), he has no basis for monetary gain there either. You can't get alimony if you never had a marriage. Sure, I guess they could find the prenup void and the marriage valid, but that doesn't work for the premise of my argument.
All Kris wants her to do is tell everyone what we already know…the wedding was for ratings. Nothing more, nothing less. I mean, she is literally laughing in our faces, thinking we are stupid enough to believe that it was a fairytale romance. We watch your show, Kim. You have more chemistry with the doormen of whatever building in whatever city you happen to be living in currently than you did with Kris. Basically, I just don't like being played for a fool. Kim, quietly admit to what we all already know and be done with it. It could actually help your sad image more than the path you're choosing. Off my soapbox and on to the divorce drama…thanks for indulging me!
Egads! A post where I actually have to exercise sensitivity…and about Kim Kardashian and her tiny rapper no less! I guess now that it's officially the holiday season, I need to practice more kindness and goodwill, right? Well, here it is.
While we were gorging on leftovers and shopping for major deals, KanyeWest was facing a heartbreaking anniversary…five years since the death of his mother Donda West after plastic surgery gone horribly wrong. Kanye, who has been fiercely protective about his mother's memory, has finally found a woman with whom he wants to share that part of his life. That's a pretty big deal, if you ask me. After the couple spent Thanksgiving with Kim's family, Kanye whisked his lady love to Oklahoma City to introduce her to his mom's family and visit Donda's grave site.
I could barely type that title with a straight face. Yes, you read that right. Kim Kardashian is heading off to the Middle East next week for two Millions of Milkshakes store openings and plans to meet up with local political leaders to get some schooling on deep issues. Like bigger issues than which self-portrait to send out on Instagram to your five million adoring followers. Or sharing how awesome your side-part is today. Or the dolphin in your backyard.
Kim is heading to Kuwait and Bahrain next week and is hoping to learn a little about the unrest in the Middle East – in between her appearances at Millions of Milkshakes. A "source close to Kim" (on TMZ this is code for Kris Jenner) tells the site, "Kim wants to be as informed as possible … so she can use her celebrity to help those in need and raise awareness about important issues in the area."
It's been said that in life only two things are certain–death and taxes. Well, dear readers, I'd like to think y'all would agree with me if I tweaked that saying just a bit. In the reality world, the only two things that are certain have to be Kris Jenner creating rumors about her family in order to stay relevant and Kim Kardashian talking when she should just smile, look plastic pretty, and wear heinous tiny rapper inspired outfits. Am I right or am I right? Of course death, taxes, and all that jazz come into play as well…although have we seen any Kardashian 1099s?
Where to start, where to start? Should I lead with Kim's unfortunate but likely well-intended Twitter posts or Kris speaking out about the gossip she planted about her marriage? It's quite the conundrum. Thank goodness I've got a glass of pinot noir and a Ducky Dynasty marathon to soothe my Kardashian-riddled nerves. Join me, won't you?
When I think of the Kardashian/Jenner klan, warm and fuzzy thoughts don't often come to mind. Sure, Khloe Kardashian Odom is slightly bearable, and those Jenner girls are pretty, but let's face it. With Kris Jenner as their momager, they're bound to be extremely entitled, over exposed, and annoying any day know…if they aren't already.
With all of this going on with the girls in this family, sometimes the guys get the short end of the stick (anyone remember poor Rob Kardashian when Oprah Winfrey came to interview the krew? At least he has his sock line.). It's sad really. Of course, no one is more disrespected, ignored, or made fun of more than dad Bruce Jenner. Poor guy is legendary Olympian, but at his home, he's the butt of all jokes.
When it comes to Kardashians one can expect everything is a PR spin machine manufactured by Kris Jenner. In the latest rumor to erupt on the scene more reports are emerging that Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom are in major marriage trouble!
In Touch Weekly touts the couple is on the brink of divorce in their newest cover story, claiming Khloe is begging Lamar to go to "couples therapy – or else!" Khloe is apparently "heartbroken" that her marriage is in such trouble.
“He’s been so distant and stressed with basketball lately," an insider reveals. "She doesn’t know what else to do.” In a desperate bid to save their marriage Khloe is going to "make-or-break" efforts because “she’s reached her breaking point in a marriage that has been struggling for months.”
Happy Election Day, dear readers! Since everyone is in a voting state of mind we decided to have a little fun on this ever-so important day. Reality TV stars are always campaigning for favoritism (and sometimes buying their fans on twitter), so we got wondering, what stars could we – in our wildest dreams – see make it to the White House?
So cast your ballot for one of these fair candidates below. And remember this is all in fun so keep it funny, snarky, and apolitical!
3. Abby Lee Miller: She will frighten and intimidate foreign leaders into staying in line – or else!
4. Donald Trump: Our national embarrassment (that hair!) might as well take it all the way. Plus, he could hopefully pay for his own campaign.
5. Shaunie O'Neal: The HBIC of Basketball Wives knows how to dodge flying wine bottles, flinging insults, and a whole host of unruly people with a half-smile. I think she could whip congress into shape without so much as smudging her lipstick!